This time last year Leicester were rock bottom of the table and looking like certainties to go down. We were 10th. Now the table has been turned upside down, Leicester are top and we’re 9th. Funny old game as they say. I don’t want Leicester’s bubble to burst as this is actually a lot of fun to watch.
Obviously I want us to catch them eventually and that will entail them dropping points, but for now it would be good for the game if they keep on winning for a little while longer.Ok, by a little while longer what I really mean is the next four games, as three of them are against United, Chelsea and Everton. After that they come to Anfield so the streak can stop then. Hopefully Jamie Vardy can keep on scoring until then too, as it’s been such a great story seeing him come out of nowhere to play like this. It’s not a fluke, the lad is playing as well as anyone in the league and he’s virtually impossible to stop at the moment.
Leicester are great to watch and what they’re doing is quite unusual. They’re just not arsed about possession at all, they just want to get the ball and immediately go forward with as much pace as they can. It’s exciting to watch and they completely tore Newcastle apart (which isn’t difficult, I know). Vardy opened the scoring with another brilliant goal. He’s been playing through an injury for weeks now which makes what he’s doing even more impressive. He’s just too much for defenders to handle right now and he hit the bar soon afterwards following another great run in behind.
Ulloa headed in to make it 2-0 and the Japanese lad fluked a third, but the scoreline didn’t flatter Leicester at all. Newcastle’s defending was as you’d expect. Woeful. Their fans were booing the shit out of their team (although they applauded Vardy for equalling the record, so fair play for that), probably because it was ‘only’ Leicester and they feel this shouldn’t be happening. The thing is though, we’re almost in December and Leicester are top of the table while Newcastle are near the bottom and can’t defend for shit. So this is par for the course. I can’t blame them for being pissed off at the steaming turds in their back four every week though, especially the big curly haired one.
That Mitrovic is a real piece of work too isn’t he? If he played for someone that was more relevant than Newcastle he’d be second only to Diego Costa in the massive twat stakes. Huth grabbed him by the throat, and Mitrovic hurled himself to the floor holding his face. I honestly don’t know why the FA don’t introduce an immediate banning system for anyone caught doing this shit. It’s easy to spot, there’s no grey area, just ban them for three games any time they do it and add three games on for each repeat offence. It’d stop in no time.
It just seems like no-one is arsed about it though. I mean the MOTD commentator kept going on and on about how lucky Huth was not to get a red or yellow card. There was a casual reference to Mitrovic ‘making the most of’ the contact, but that’s not really what he did at all is it? Making the most of if would have been holding his throat, not his fucking face. What he did was far worse than what Huth did, but no-one ever seems to care.
Moving on, and Arsenal did an Arsenal on Saturday and laid an egg when you least expected it. Don’t ever change Arsenal, don’t ever change.
Coquelin went off injured early on and will be out for a while, so let’s see how they deal with that. It was 0-0 when he went off and then Giroud put Arsenal ahead. Would they have held on if Coquelin was still playing? Who knows, but without him they let in two, with Arteta (who had moved into the “Coquelin role”) partially responsible for both.
Arteta conceded a free-kick that led to the first and he then scored an own goal for the second. You what’s really funny though? No matter what Arteta does, has done or might go on to do in his career the first thing I’ll always think of whenever I hear his name is the now legendary pisstake expression “Where’s the Arteta money, Bill?”.
Arsenal never really threatened much but should have come away with a point when they were awarded a somewhat iffy penalty. Cazorla stepped up, slipped and kicked the ball against his own standing foot, causing it to hilariously loop up over the bar.
The Wenger ‘Hokey Cokey” meter was twitching like ‘Arry Redknapp’s face on transfer deadline day after that, but it settled down again after a comfortable Champions League win in midweek. They need to go and win their final game by two goals in Greece to qualify from their group. It might be in our best interests for that to happen, as while we've been on our CL sabbatical (last year doesn't count as we were still grieving over Suarez.... I still am actually), all these other losers are royally fucking up the co-efficient which might mean 4th place no longer gets in.
While I can see the benefit to us in the four English sides making the knock out stages, every fibre of my being is wanting them all to fall flat on their stupid fucking faces, regardless of whether it costs the Premier League one of their four CL spots or not. I can’t help it, I want to see Arsenal drop into the Europa League so 1) their fans can’t taunt us and Spurs with the “Thursday night” stuff, and 2) we get them over two legs and absolutely fucking murder them. United too for that matter, and fucking Chelsea, I’d love it if Porto beat them in their last game. LOVE IT.
The Mancs had another unimpressive, uninspiring win on Saturday, the dull boring bastards. They followed it up with an unimpressive, uninspiring goalless draw at home on Wednesday against PSV. They were booed off, and the natives are getting really restless there. 2nd place in the league isn’t fooling them, although it seems to be fooling a hell of a lot of pundits and fans of other clubs who are completely buying into them. Not me. They’re shite, we’re better than them, I’m not worried. Take a note of that if you like, I don't care, it won't be biting me in the arse any time soon.
Depay put them in front at Vicarage Road but they did nothing after that and Watford eventually equalised through Deeney’s pen. The Watford skipper quickly went from hero to villain when he then put through his own net in stoppage time. The worst part about it is that he didn’t even seem arsed in his interview afterwards, he was all like “if we’d have nicked a point we’d have been happy, but most people look at the big boys as bonus games. Our big games are the next three against Villa, Norwich and Sunderland”. Fuck off you small time jabroni. You should be out there apologising for handing United the three points, you absolute twat.
You won’t get Jamie Vardy doing that shit. Can’t wait to see him against United next weekend when first meets second. I’m not even sure Van Gaal can ruin a Leicester game as a spectacle, although you can be sure he’ll do his damnedest to turn it into another snoozefest.
Elsewhere on Saturday, Villa came crashing back to reality two weeks after they’d avoided defeat in Remi Garde’s first game in charge. They went to Goodison and got royally bummed by the Blues. It finished 4-0 but it could have been a lot worse. Barkley and Lukaku got two apiece and Villa offered nothing in response, the huge shitbirds. They’ve been shite for years but it was only a few months ago they had a front three of Benteke, Agbonlahor and Weimann, and of course my main man Timmy and his body warmer kicking every ball from the touchline. At least they had a fighting chance then, now they’re just pitiful.
I didn’t even know where Weimann was until I just googled him, and it turns out he’s at fucking Derby County. How’d that happen? He’s a good little player him, he shouldn’t be in the Championship. Mind you, he’d have only been delaying the inevitable by staying as Villa are shite and hopefully this is the year they go down. Remember those twats on the train last year having a birthday party for Stevie when they were on their way to Wembley? Yeah, I’m going to have a big laugh at their expense on Stevie’s next birthday when they’re bottom of the league and headed into football oblivion. Wankers.
Moving on, and Swansea’s recent struggles continued as they failed to beat Bournemouth at home. Josh King’s tap in gave the visitors the lead and that blueshite jabroni Dan Gosling added a second. Ayew pulled one back immediately and then won a penalty when he tripped himself up. In fairness to the ref, it’s got to be incredibly difficult to spot what happened there in real time. You can make a case that it was a pen anyway as it was the slightest contact from the defender that caused Ayew to trip himself up, but you’d be proper pissed off if that decision went against your side.
All the MOTD highlights from this were from the first half. The only thing they showed from the second half was a Shelvey shot from distance that went miles over the bar, which tells me that the second half must have been like watching a United game.
Chelsea spoiled everyone’s fun by not losing this weekend, the selfish bastards. This is how they’re going to get out of their slump isn’t it, with some spawny, unimpressive 1-0 wins until they get their mojo back. Costa got the only goal of the game midway through the second half after Fabregas took a clever quick free-kick to catch Norwich out (dunno what the hell Andre Wisdom was doing by the way). They followed it up with a 4-0 away win in the Champions League and they’re probably going to start climbing the table again now. Still, their slump was great while it lasted wasn’t it?
Finally on Saturday, Stoke won at Southampton thanks to Bojan’s early close range strike. Beautiful finish it was, he’s a quality little player him, but let’s see if he can do it on a freezing wet Tuesday night in… oh.
Good result for them that though, and it should have been much easier for them as the Jersey Shore twins Shaqiri and Arnautovic both missed great chances and Affelay should have had a couple as well.
Sunday saw Spurs destroy West Ham at White Hart Lane in the only game of the day. That’s an impressive result as the Hammers have been good away from home. Harry Kane’s in great form again now, but if he picks up an injury they got nuthin’, so let’s hope he does. Maybe he’ll trip over that massive Bruce Forsyth chin of his and sprain something.
Monday night’s game ended in a pretty big upset as hapless Sunderland bagged a late winner against Palace at Selhurst. Defoe got the only goal of the game and Palace are clearly nowhere near as good a side at home as they are away. Has this game been played in the North East there’s no way they’d have lost, but their game is all about stopping the opposition and then hitting on the break. It’s hard to do that when the other team doesn’t attack. This type of game is Fat Sam’s speciality.
Anyway, I’ll sign off this week with this….
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