Saturday Feb 3…
“If you could bring Bill Shankly back into the club now and ask him 'are you happy with fourth?' because he was a fantastic football manager he would have seen that this is the only way we can go. You need to do what we are doing to be in a position to win something one day.
“To just want it more desperately than other clubs doesn't make it more likely to happen. That's how it is. You need to do all your homework and when the time comes, you have to catch it.
“Bill would have seen that 100% – but unfortunately I never got to know him as a person and that's really a shame because we are doing the same job.”
Kinell, you're on dodgy ground there Jurgen. Accepting the reality that fourth place is an achievement of sorts is one thing, but being 'happy' about it? Nope. That's Arsenal behaviour that.
As fans, harping back to our glorious past all the time doesn't do us any favours, but we shouldn't just disregard who we are because 'the game is different now' either. Ripping into our midfield for not being scary bastards like Souness is daft, because you're not allowed kick people anymore. Dismissing the 'first is first, second is nothing' mantra though, sorry I'm not prepared to go there.
If we finish fourth this year we've done pretty well. If we finish third we've done very well. Second? That would be excellent and would suggest we're heading in the right direction. It's still not good enough though and the second you start thinking it is, you find yourself taking dressing room team selfies without a trophy.
Meanwhile, at Old Trafford….
Stupid mancs, can’t get anything right. It’s meant to be a dog with two dicks, not the other way around.
Sunday Feb 4…
L 2 Spurs 2 Struggling to think of a time when we got shafted more by an official than this. It probably involved Howard Webb, but generally it would be one decision and one official. This time it was was two of the cunts involved, and two decisions they conspired to fuck up. Throw into the mix the rampant fucking diving from the Spurs players and it all adds up to one steaming fucking pile of pissed off.
Fuck Spurs. Prior to today I was rooting for them to join us in the top four at the expense of United or Chelsea. I still hope they get in over United, obviously, but I’ll take Chelsea over Spurs all day now after this. I hated Deli All anyway even before today. Massive cunt, we all knew that. Hate him even more now.
I knew Kane was a twat as well, but I’d kind of forgotten it. I won’t make that mistake again. His card is marked now for the rest of his career, the gormless big chinned slobbering fucking gimp. Apparently he said afterwards to the camera as he left the field ‘can’t give me two chances’. I say apparently, because I couldn’t lip read due to the fact the cunt talks like his teeth are superglued together. That’s what he’s meant to have said though.
He gave a speech to his team-mates afterwards too, not about their impressive performance or them coming back to steal a point, but about him reaching the 100 goal milestone. Bet that was riveting. Probably went something like this…
Monday Feb 5…
So some refereeing body puts out a statement saying Moss and the other twat got the decisions right but that he was wrong to ask the fourth official if he saw anything on the monitor. They also insist that the fourth official did not respond to the question and had not looked at the incident on TV.
Fuck off, not having that. Moss asked the question and then a second later says “I’m giving the pen”. So either he was told “yeah Lovren touched it” or he’s just decided to make things up as he goes. This is fucking bollocks. Moss also claims now that he knew an LFC player touched the ball, he just didn’t know if it was Lovren. Lying fat cunt.
He’s read the transcript of what he said to the lino (“I have no idea if Lovren touched the ball to be honest with you. Martin, have you got anything from TV? I’m giving the penalty.”) and he’s tried to come up with something to get himself off the hook. If what he says is true, he’d have said to the lino “Don’t know if it was Lovren but one of the players defo touched it”. He didn’t say that, because he’s a lying incompetent fat turd who has no business being a referee at any level, let alone the Premier League.
On the field tonight, Lallana got himself sent off for the u23s against Spurs. Ings, Solanke and Woodburn also featured in what looked like a strong attack. They couldn’t even manage one goal between them against a team of kids, and Lallana’s reaction to a mildly poor challenge was a joke.
It reeked of “I’m insulted to be here”. Hell, he was probably yelling “don’t you know who I am??” at the poor kid as he put a sleeper hold on him. Embarrassing shit. Grows his hair and suddenly thinks he’s fucking Conan the Barbarian.
Speaking of hair, Rooney does MNF and suddenly everyone is fawning over him because he managed to string a few sentences together. Get a grip of yourselves everyone. He’s Wayne Rooney and he’s a twat. Fuck him and his new orange dyed fake hair. It’s Colleen I feel bad for. Yeah I get it, she knew what she signed up for when she married him, what with the prozzies and the affairs and that, but this ginger rug is a step too far, surely? Poor girl must have been mortified.
I feel like I know everything that he said even though I didn’t even watch it. Everyone on twitter seemed to be buzzing off him, even people who ought to know better. I steered clear of it not because of Rooney, but because I learned my lesson after the Lovren / Calvert-Lewin incident. I’m not watching any analysis of these types of incidents anymore (on any channel) as it only ends up pissing me off. Apparently both Carra and Rooney said the penalty decisions were correct, so I feel vindicated in my ‘stay away’ policy.
Tuesday Feb 6…
Lallana won’t be banned for any first team games at least, which may explain why he did it. Doesn’t want to be playing any more u23 games so gets himself a nice lengthy ban.
Meanwhile, on Instagram....
This reminds me of when I'd post pictures on the forum asking for captions. Sometimes I'd look and think; "Fair play to you for having a go, but fucking hell". I mean really, Dejan, is that the best you can do? He's no Stu Monty or 05 Milan.
Hey, we've signed a player! We'll probably never see him, as he's been loaned out for 18 months, but don't let anyone tell you we're sitting on that Coutinho money. Anderson Arroyo is a teenage Colombian full back, but I wouldn't bother remembering the name as he's about as relevant as... *checks LFC website for list of loanees who we've never seen* Allen Rodriguez and Taiwo Awoniyi.
On that note, how many of you know who Chelsea's current longest serving player is? A lot of you are probably thinking Gary Cahill, but it's not. It's this fucker...
His name is Matej Delac and he's been there since 2010 without ever playing a game. They loan him out every year, the fucking weirdos. Sad thing is he's probably better than both of our keepers.
Wednesday Feb 7…
Pochettino says diving is the same as stepovers and tactical switches, because ultimately 'football is about tricking the opponent'. Jesus, that’s fucked up even by South American sportsmanship standards.
I’ve never really had any problem with Pochettino, but my mum hates him. Why? “I don’t like his stupid fat face”. She’s right too, he does have a stupid fat face. I should probably listen to her more often. She’s slowly winning me over on Lallana now too.
"Firmino is a great player but if we'd have had a spearhead goalscorer who gets you 25 or 30 goals a season who knows how far we'd have been behind Man City." *sighs* Fucking hell Aldo, where to even start with that? Ok, I’ll bite. Aldo was a 25 or 30 goals a season man and we won stuff when he was here so I can see where he’s coming from. But firstly, the team Aldo played in used to concede around 25 goals a season.
Secondly, they didn’t have to compete with a team owned by an Arab state and with enough money to quite literally buy any player they want to buy.
Thirdly, Firmino is well on course to score that many goals this season anyway, and Mo Salah has already done it. How is bringing in another player who will score the same number as goals as Firmino but contribute a lot less to the overall play of the team going to get us closer to Man City? C'mon Aldo.
In other news today, Jon Moss is punished for his shenanigans at Anfield. He'll be refereeing at Goodison this weekend. On a serious note, he'll probably get more of an ovation than Rooney got on his first game back. That linesman needs to make sure he stays as close to the pitch as possible too, just to avoid all the pats on the back they'll be trying to give him. Wouldn't even surprise me if they get an award on the pitch before kick off from Kenwright and that Moshiri crank.
Thursday Feb 8…
Some Italian agent says Can has already agreed to join Juve. Probably true, it certainly feels that way, but I bet this cunt has no inside info and is just shooting his mouth to get himself some publicity.
Meanwhile, Mo does an interview in which he says he was a boyhood Red who grew up wanting to play for us. Cynics will counter that with "why did you snub us for Chelsea?" but that whole sorry saga was more a result of us fucking about trying to lowball Basel to the point they got pissed off and invited bids from other clubs. Salah could have refused to go anywhere else, but why the fuck would you when it looks like Liverpool don't value you that highly?
I take him at his word. He wanted to play for us as a kid, and he's made up that he's playing for us now. You could tell that from his very first interview, he couldn't stop grinning. That doesn't mean I'm stupid enough to think he wouldn't leave, especially given the straight bat he played when asked about Real Madrid wanting him.
"I don't have much to say about that," Salah said. "If I must say anything, it is that I am happy at Liverpool. For the moment I am here [in England]," he said. "I want to focus on my team, and to end the season very well. I love the Premier League, the football here.”
“I want to help the team to win trophies or be in a good position in the league, in my head I'm trying to do that. I [also] want to help my national team to get out of their group at the World Cup. These are my objectives for now, then we will see."
That was reported as 'great news for Liverpool fans' but is it? As soon as these fuckers use terms like 'for the moment' 'for now' and 'we will see' that sets alarm bells off for me. We heard those from Suarez and then Coutinho. Don't be like them Mo, be like Stevie and Carra.
Friday Feb 9...
Kloppo discusses the Lallana sending off and makes some good points. It wasn't a reaction to that specific challenge, that was just the final straw and it was one a minute earlier that had pissed him off. He also stressed that it was nothing to do with not wanting to play at that level and was more a case of frustration at how his season has been a write off so far. "We've all done things we're not proud of" he added. Fair enough.
Later on I'm dropping my daughter off at my parents house. She stays there every Friday, and (I think I've mentioned this before) this usually the only time I ever get to see any Championship footy, because you can be sure that whatever shitty Championship game is on TV on a Friday night, it'll be on in my parents house. No word of a lie, last Friday I walked in the living room and before she'd even said "hello" my mum goes "Flanno's only the bench for Bolton but Ryan Kent is playing for Bristol".
Anyway, I got there tonight and they're not watching footy, it's the A Team that's on, which makes for a pleasant change. So after a few minutes my mum says disgustedly "Did you see the other fella getting sent off last night?". "Yeah that was embarrassing" I replied. "I told you months ago, he's on steroids him. I knew when he started growing his hair long and grew those big bushy whiskers. He's on something. I bet he doesn't even use Nivea anymore. That was steroid rage that."
I don't even know what to do with that, just thought I'd share it to give you an insight into my life. I should probably get her to write the Premier League Round Up one week, as I reckon it'll blow mine completely out the water. Of course I'd probably end up getting sued for it.
So anyway, that was the week that was...
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