So that’s that then, all over for another four years and the Germans are worthy World Champions. Good luck to them, they were the best team and they had some of the best individuals too. And as I said in the semi final round up, they’re proper footballers and there’s not a tattoo or shit haircut in sight with those boys.
For a couple of their players it was a bittersweet experience. Sami Khedira injured himself in the warm up and missed the opportunity to play in a World Cup final. That’s got to be hard to take that is. I haven’t decided if I feel sorry for him or not yet, I’m waiting to see if he signs for Arsenal or not. If he does then fuck him. He wasn't in the oh so predictable 'selfies' with the three German Gooners, so there's hope for Sami yet.
His replacement didn’t fare too well either and didn’t seem to be too popular with his team-mates. Martin Kramer got absolutely clobbered in an accidental clash with Garay. He was almost knocked out and was left in a dazed, crumpled heap. The German players carried on playing for about 30 seconds while the Argies yelled and gesticulated for them to put it out and get the poor lad some treatment. Eventually they did but they couldn’t have seemed any more reluctant about it. Maybe he’s a bit of a Samir Nasri?
Or maybe the German players milk injuries so much it's difficult to tell when it's genuine? Take Schweinsteiger for example, who was awesome on the night but seemed to be down injured every couple of minutes. Finally my patience snapped and I ended up yelling "get up you shithouse, there's fuck all wrong with you!!" just as the camera showed blood streaming down his face. Er yeah, sorry Bastian, my bad.
Anyway, ten minutes or so after being steamrollered by Garay, Kramer was subbed. He could barely even walk and had to be helped off by two physios. Why did they leave him on for so long when he was obviously away with the mixer? Some seriously irresponsible antics from the German docs there. Just because Mascherano shook off a concussion in the semis and was the best player on the pitch for the rest of the game doesn’t mean just anybody can. I’m not sure Mascherano is even human, he’s at least part machine. Brilliant again in the final, just a shame most of his team-mates weren’t.
It was a cagey affair early on with Germany hogging the ball but not looking especially threatening. Then Kroos had a brainfart and presented the ball to Higuain who went clean through but dragged a shot well wide. To be fair it’s difficult to bury a chance like that whilst shitting your shorts, as Higuain clearly was. Complete bottle job that, it will probably haunt him for the rest of his life too.
He then finished one quite well but it was ruled out for offside. Strangely, he ran off celebrating without even looking at the lino. That also reflects badly on him for me, as he ran in behind the last defender and was a couple of yards offside, so how the hell did he not know? A complete lack of awareness that. Do they not have offside in Serie A?
It was not a good day at all for the Napoli frontman who then got pole axed by Neuer in the second half. It should have been a penalty and red card for the keeper but instead Higuain had a free-kick awarded against him. He was subbed soon after. Can’t get my head around that challenge though, it pisses me right off the way keepers are allowed to jump with their knees up like that, supposedly to ‘protect themselves’ when really it just makes them a fucking danger to everyone in the vicinity. That was a sickening collision and it could easily have been another ‘Battiston’.
I’ve been holding off on this all tournament but I’ll say it now that it’s over. I think Higuain is bang average. Not even as good as Cavani and you know what I think about him. I held off on saying it because he’s got this big reputation and people whose opinion I respect tell me he’s ace, but I’m just not having him. I even saw some suggestion we should go for him to replace Suarez. Fuck that, if he came to England he’d be just like Soldado I reckon. Laugh all you like but I'd take Wilfried Bony over him all day.
The German back four were so square and so high at times though it was easy for Argentina to get in behind,in fact they should be lamenting the fact they couldn’t do it more often as the opportunity was there for them. Messi went clean through at the start of the 2nd half and dragged a shot a couple of inches wide. Not a sitter like Higuain’s, but that was his moment and he didn’t take it. Palacios had a great chance too but lobbed it over the keeper and inches wide. Looked like it was a certain goal but the football gods clearly stepped in as you can't have someone with that daft rat tail thing of his scoring the winner in a World Cup final. I mean look at how they punished original Ronaldo that time when he came out with that stupid haircut for the final in '98. Palacios got off lightly.
Argentina defended superbly though and Germany didn’t create much at all, especially when Klose was on the pitch. Garay and Demichelis had him on toast, but the introductions of Schurrle and later Gotze gave them more to think about and those two combined for the winning goal. Fantastic goal it was too, worthy of winning any game.
Messi is getting all kinds of stick now with people saying his World Cup performances (not just this year) show he’s not one of the greats. Horseshit. He is obviously one of the greats, as is Ronaldo (who has also done fuck all in World Cups). That’s beyond any doubt. Messi is one of the greatest players the world has ever seen, but you know what he’s not? He’s not Maradona, and until he wins a World Cup almost single handedly he never will be. That’s just a fact. He's probably got one more shot at it, but I don't like his chances.
Speaking of Maradona though, that song the Argies have been singing about him being "greater than Pele" is fucking ace. Germany certainly deserved to win the tournament but it would have been fitting for Argentina to win it just so they could carry on taunting Brazil with this classic:
Here’s the translation:
Brazil, tell me how it feels to have the Daddy in your house?
I swear that even as the years pass, we will never forget
How Diego [Maradona] outplayed you;
How [Claudio] Cani[ggia] surprised you;
You've been crying since Italy [1990] until today.
You're going to see Messi, he'll bring us back the Cup.
Maradona is greater than Pele.
It wasn’t to be though, Messi didn’t “bring back the cup” as he failed to seize the moment. Even at the end when he had a free-kick deep into stoppage time I knew it was going miles over the bar and so it did. He put himself about more than he did in the semi final, but he really does stand around a lot doesn’t he? He's gonna do Suarez's head in I reckon.
Bizarrely he won the Golden Ball though. Sorry, the Adidas Golden Ball. He just happens to be the Adidas poster boy, but I’m sure that wasn’t a factor in him getting the award….
Best player in the tournament? He wasn’t even the best player in his team. For me Mascherano should have won that trophy, but if not him then half the German side are more worthy winners than Messi. It’s not that he had a bad tournament, he scored a fair few goals, had some iconic moments and was definitely one of the better players (he's judged to a higher standard than everyone else though). He just wasn’t THE best. It’s not his fault of course, and he looked pretty sheepish about receiving it to be fair, but that was a joke.
It wasn’t the worst decision of the night though, that honour surely goes to the BBC for selecting Lawro ahead of SuperDan for the co-commentator’s spot. I watched BBC only because it was an Andy & Clive free zone and I’d have probably stuck with them even if they’d had Chico from the X Factor in the co-commentators chair. That doesn’t mean I approve of Lawro though.
I'm not even bothering with the 3rd place play off game as I didn't watch it. The players and coaches didn't want to play in it and I can see why, it's a complete waste of time and the only people who give a shit about these games are gamblers who have money riding on the tournament's top goalscorer. This game gives them an extra chance. I know as I cleaned up on Davor Suker in 1998 after he scored in that game. I had nothing riding on this so I never showed any interest, a bit like Brazil who got bummed again.
Anyway, here’s my final observations on the 2014 World Cup.
Player of the tournament: The Chief, who just edges out Thomas Muller and James Rodriguez. The best defensive midfield in the world now has to go back to being an undersized centre half for his club. What a waste. Fuckin' Barca.
Goal of the tournament: James Rodriguez against Uruguay. I’ll never tire of watching that, just simply stunning that was.
Coach of the tournament: Jorge Luis Pinto of Costa Rica, with an honourable shout to Klinsmann. My favourite coach was definitely the fat Mexican though, I love that guy.
Dope of the tournament: Obviously Suarez, closely followed by David Luiz and Higuain.
Fans of the tournament: Argentina
Most fun to watch: USA, Chile & Colombia
Least fun to watch: Brazil (except when they were being savaged by Germany), Cameroon and Spain.
Best pundit: For entertainment I’d go with Strachan. For style it has to be Seedorf.
Worst pundit: Cannavaro. Had he been on Italian TV he may have been the best, but his English just wasn’t up to it and he barely said anything of any interest from what I saw. In fairness by about halfway through the tournament I’d stopped watching any analysis and was only watching the games. Blame Suarez for that though, his antics made me not want to watch for about a week as I was sick of having to relive all that biting crap again.
Best Co-Comm: Super Danny Murphy
Worst Co-Comm: Take your pick. Phil Neville was terrible in his first game, Townsend and his "yep" and "it's a close one that Clive" grates after a while and Kilbane is just so damn dull, but for me Clarke Carlisle was comfortably the worst.
Player I’d most like to see us sign: Would have been Sanchez but now I’d say Muller or Pogba. If we’re talking someone who we could realistically get (by that I mean they are/were available, which Muller obviously isn’t) then I’ll go Kroos or Khedira, but given that we don't seem to be showing any interest in anybody who'll command top wages then I'll go for my boy Hector Herrera, the Mexican Hendo.
Best World Cup XI: Keylor Navas; Fabien Johnson, Thiago Silva, Ezekiel Garay, Philip Lahm; Javier Mascherano, Bastian Schweinsteiger; Arjen Robben, James Rodriguez, Lionel Messi; Thomas Muller:
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