Arsenal totally unravelled in familiar fashion against Chelsea. It was all going well enough until they allowed themselves to get “Costa’d”. Ok that’s probably a little unfair, it was only Gabriel who fell for Costa’s dastardly antics, Koscielny was actually handling all the provocation with admirable restraint and calm until his young team-mate got suckered in.
I don’t even blame the villainous Chelsea frontman for what went down. Mike Dean is the chief culprit but Arsenal’s young buck-toothed defender also needs to hold his hand up, as his antics were braindead behind belief. Stepping in when Costa and Koscielny were going at it was a sensible move. Restraining himself when Costa raked his nails on the back of his neck showed maturity too. Then he went and spoiled it all by flicking out a boot at Costa, right under the beady gaze of the beady faced Dean. Wait, wasn’t that a song line?
Just what the fuck was he hoping to achieve with that harmless little back heel thing though? What was the point? If you’re gonna boot him then boot him, don’t do that stupid little love tap. You're getting a red card either so at least get your money's worth. I’m pissed off that his suspension was overturned, I’d have doubled it personally just for him being such a massive, thick shithouse.
Costa must have been laughing his tiny cock off (look, I dunno, he just seems like he’s over compensating for something doesn't he?). Of course he won’t be laughing now that he himself got a three game ban, but in terms of what went down at the time, he played Gabriel for a sucker and his actions went a long way to getting three points for Chelsea. It helps when you’ve got a referee that’s either so stupid he doesn’t realise the kind of stunts Costa is pulling (and given that he does it every other week, that seems unlikely) or who just enjoys screwing Arsenal over (given he does that every other week, that seems almost certain).
So Chelsea take the lead from a set-piece then Cazorla gets sent off too. Arsenal were dead in the water and Chelsea were 1-0 up against nine men. What does Mourinho do? He sends for his security blanket Jon Obi Mikel of course. What a complete shithouse. They scored a flukey second just before the big dufus even got on the field, but even at 2-0 up Mourinho still brings him on in place of an attacker. Rampant shithousery but it’s what we’ve all come to expect.
His comments afterwards were entirely predictable too. Asked about Costa, I mean what’s he going to say? He’s hardly going to say “yeah we all know Diego likes to cheat” as he’d have to be a complete fucking moron - or Kurt Zouma - to admit that. No, of course he deflected the question away from Costa and pointed to Arsenal’s lack of self control and discipline. He’s got a point there, except Costa wasn’t exactly in control either, he just got away with it because… well.. Mike Dean.
As always when these two meet though, all the focus was on the two managers and whether they’d shake hands. Mourinho waited for Wenger beforehand and there was a cursory handshake with no eye contact. Afterwards Wenger just got off down the tunnel, which is fair enough I’m sure we’d all agree.
I don’t know why so much fuss is made of this shit. If you can’t stand someone, why the hell should you HAVE to shake their hand? It’s ridiculous really. I'm still seething that Suarez was forced to shake Evra's hand after the little twat lied through his teeth and had Luis branded a racist. Shake his hand? Suarez would have been justified in breaking his jaw. So Wenger should just say “I’m not shaking his hand because I think he’s a cunt”. Would anyone think any less of him? Go on Arsene, you know it makes sense.
Anyway, enough of that, onto the other games. So West Ham went to City and won. Does that make our defeat a few weeks back a bit less shit? It probably does you know. It’s still not acceptable of course, but given that the Hammers have won at Arsenal and City too, and they’re both better than us, do we even have the right to expect to beat West Ham anymore?
At least we didn’t let Victor Moses score. Of course he didn’t play against us, so that’s probably why, but even so, shame on you City. Before long it was 2-0 as Sakho bundled in from close range from a corner that shouldn’t have been a corner.
City piled on the pressure after that and Prince Harry pulled one back with his first goal since his £54m move a few weeks ago. It seemed inevitable that they’d get themselves an equaliser but West Ham are resilient as fuck these days and held on for the points, largely thanks to some heroics from Adrian in goal and big Winston Reid at the back. He’s actually very good isn’t he?
Seeing Pellegrini and Bilic on the same touchline though, kinell, for a minute there I thought I'd accidentally switched channels and was watching an episode of the Walking Dead. Do those fellas ever sleep?
City had been looking like they might have a procession to the title this year, but this result gives hope to everyone else. Well ok, not everyone. It gives hope to Chelsea, Arsenal and United though. And Leicester, who look like being this year’s Southampton.
They came from 2-0 down to earn a point at Stoke. Their record over the last 15 games or so is ridiculous and you can’t help but look at their line up and wonder just how they’re doing it, especially when the hapless Wes Morgan is still captaining their side. He put one on a plate for Walters to make it 2-0 after Bojan had opened the scoring.
My boy Mahrez slotted a pen to start the comeback and Vardy capitalised on awful defending to square things up. Vardy is having a great run at the moment. If he played for Southampton we’d be preparing a £25m bid for him. I saw someone comparing him with Bellamy the other day. He’s not that good, or that angry (aside from Costa I’m not sure anyone is), but there are similarities.
How shit are Newcastle? Well on a sliding shit scale of Jon Walters to Ryan Shotton, they’re somewhere in between Andy Wilkinson and Younes Kaboul. They lost at home to Watford and it wasn’t even a surprise to anyone. They're just dreadful.
Ighalo scored twice to put Watford in a comfortable position, and even though Newcastle pulled one back through Janmaat, they couldn’t find an equaliser as Heurelio Gomez was equal to everything they threw at him. It always freaks me out just how much he looks like the B.F.G. though.
Watford have only lost once and that was to City. I’m just glad we don’t play them for a little while yet. Shame we don’t play Newcastle though, I’d actually fancy us to beat them. Well, maybe.
And Sunderland too, we’d beat them I reckon. Maybe. They lost at Bournemouth at the weekend and then got stuffed at home by City in the league cup. Wilson got the opener after easily turning the hapless Kaboul and Ritchie hammered in a beauty to double their lead. If Ritchie played for Southampton we’d… well you know the rest. Good player though isn’t he? Goal of the season so far that.
Kaboul had a right “Weston Super” and got himself sent off after picking up two yellows for basically being a clumsy shit bastard. He’s managed to achieve the impossible, he’s actually been worse than Brown and O’Shea. He’s their fucking captain too, just what is their manager thinking? Dick.
Everton drew 0-0 at Swansea and had Mirallas sent off late on for what Martinez described as a “typical forward’s challenge”. I’d say it was more of a “typical Mirallas challenge” myself like. Snide twat. Everton are much better than us at the moment though, that derby next week is not going to be much fun.
Villa warmed up for their annual points collecting trip to Anfield by losing at home to West Brom. Berahino got the only goal of the game but Villa got hosed by the ref who blew up too soon instead of playing the advantage, which ruled out a goal by Richards. That’s four clean sheets on the spin for West Brom now though, who’ve gone full on Pulis.
The “Sherwood effect” has worn off now hasn’t it? He looks to be one of those “short term boost” type of managers who comes in with bags of enthusiasm and gives everyone a lift before they realise he doesn't actually have much of a clue. You can probably bet the house on Sunderland appointing him in February then after they send Dick packing and Villa have dispensed with Timmy Boy.
Onto Sunday now and Spurs beat Palace at the Lane. I saw that as being shock result as I really fancied Palace to win. Not sure if that says more about Palace or Spurs. Or me. They hit the woodwork twice but it just wasn’t their day and they lost to a late winner from Son. The South Korean is the type of player footballers absolutely love playing with. Not because of his skill or selfless work ethic, but because his name provides great “bantz” opportunities. “Over here Son, on me ‘ed” etc
Finally, the fucking Mancs won at Southampton to go second in the table. Just end this season now please, I’ve had enough already.
Pelle put the Saints ahead and he then hit the post soon after. So far so good, but it didn’t last. Martial equalised with a composed finish and then put them ahead after latching onto Yoshida’s horrific backpass. If he turns out to be some kind of superstar then I might just throw the tantrum to end all fucking tantrums. It’s not fucking fair though is it? Imagine if they've landed another Ronaldo or something.
Mata made it 3-1 after they’d kept the ball for about ten minutes and completed about 300 passes. Pelle pulled another one back and Southampton laid siege to the United goal, but De Gea is back now and he did some De Gea like things to ensure they held on. Just sickening. I tell ya, they’d better not become good again, not while we’re in the fucking mess we’re in.
Finally, it seems Southampton defender Virgil Van Dijk has “Virgil” on the back of his shirt, meaning “Memphis” for once had to share the spotlight as the most pretentious wanker on the field. What is it with these silly Dutch cunts? You didn’t see Kromkamp prancing round with “Jan” on his back, so what’s the deal with these fucking jokers? Pisses me right off.
Dave Usher
@theliverpoolway
Recommended Comments