So Tottenham finally lost this weekend, which would ordinarily be a good thing for us. Unfortunately they lost to the one team that could stop us from staying top of the table though, so not so good. Cheers Spurs.
The silverlining is that we’re now six points clear of Spurs, so there is that at least. The other good thing is that Chelsea play City this weekend so something has to give there too. We just have to ensure we handle our own shit and whatever happens there is a positive for us.
Chelsea didn’t play that well against Spurs but they did enough as goals from Pedro and Moses saw them come from behind to win 2-1. Can someone quickly remind Victor Moses that he’s Victor Moses and not Cafu, as this has gone far enough now. Between this and Iago Aspas lighting up La Liga and getting in the Spain team, it’s freaking me out. Where’s Aly Cissokho these days? He's no doubt going to resurface at Barca or Real in January. Alongside fucking Luis Alberto probably. Maybe we did the right thing keeping Tiago Ilori in the under 23s, just in case.
Elsewhere, City beat Burnley but it was closer than anyone thought it would be. Burnley’s keeper was out injured so they shook the cobwebs off old Paul Robinson and sent him out there. I actually thought he’d retired years ago but turns out he hasn’t, and whatsmore he’s still ‘only’ 37. I thought he was older than me so that’s pretty disappointing. This means that unless Dave Beasant, Mark Schwarzer or Brad Friedel are still hanging on and stealing a wage somewhere, I’m now older than every Premier League player. Hell, there are even managers younger than me now. That’s fucking depressing.
Anyway, Marney smashed in the opening goal from 30 yards and it was no more than Burnley deserved as they were on top and had been denied a clear penalty prior to that too. City equalised with a scruffy goal after Burnley didn’t clear a corner. Aguero’s second was even scruffier and Burnley had two or three chances to clear before he bundled in from close range. When a top team carves you open with a bit of magic you can live with that, but it must be so frustrating for a team like Burnley when they twice handed City the type of chance even a Sunday league side could convert.
I really don’t like that Nolito. He’s a hothead and just runs around like a bull in a china shop. You know what he is? A blag Alvaro Negredo. The Kyle Naughton to Negredo’s Kyle Walker if you like.
Speaking of Negredo, he had himself a day at the KP Stadium as Boro almost pulled off an impressive victory over the Champions. Leicester were actually in danger of ending the day in the bottom three as they trailed to Boro and other results threatened to go against them. I didn’t realise they’re situation was quite as bad as that. They’ll be fine now that the CL is on a break until the spring.
Negredo had given the visitors the lead with his first goal since August. Japanese Dirk almost hit back immediately but hit the bar with an overhead kick before Mahrez equalised from the spot after a silly handball from Chambers. You know how bad Chambers is? Arsenal kept Jenkinson and loaned him out instead. Ouch.
Negredo scored again to restore Boro’s lead but De Roon clumsily brought down Morgan in the last seconds of stoppage time and Slimani buried the pen to earn the Champions a point.
Is it just me or do Leicester seem to get a penalty every week? I’m aware that any Evertonian reading this has probably just burst a blood vessel at the irony of a “Penaltypool” fan saying that, but it’s a valid question, they seem to get pens all the time.
Ranieri said afterwards that they’re in a relegation battle. They’re not. Not yet anyway. They might only be a couple of points clear of the drop zone but they’ll be fine. By fine I mean mid table, which if you take last year out of the equation is actually something they’d normally be celebrating.
Moving on, and West Brom took the lead against Hull from a corner (stop me if you’ve heard this before) but Mike Phelan’s side secured a point after a set-piece of their own when Dawson fired in from a Snodgrass free-kick.
Pulis and Phelan were all smiles and huge before the game. I hate all that “British manager” freemason shit, where they all seem to be big mates just because they all like a bung and hate Johnny Foreigner.
Not been a good week for Pulis though, who lost a court case after trying to rip Palace off and getting found out. Cost him £5m or so that did. Apparently he asked if he could pay in Berahinos but the court refused.
That was the only thing Palace won this week though. Without doubt the best thing that happened all weekend was the emotional roller coaster ride that Pardew was subjected to at Swansea. He effectively lost that game twice and in between he had the brief joy of thinking he’d won it. Simply glorious.
Let’s start from the beginning. Zaha put Palace ahead and then did a terrible celebratory dance. I wrote last week how he’s just a big fraud and never scores, but if this is how he carries on when he does eventually find the net then we should just be grateful it happens as infrequently as it does.
Sigurdsson (who else) drew Swansea level with a well placed free-kick after my boy J-Punch had been unfairly penalised. Leroy Fer then scored two quick fire goals from a combined six inches out to give Swansea a two goal cushion. That’s six goals he’s scored now, but the only ones I can remember have been tap ins on the goal-line following set-pieces. Is he actually any good? I’m still in the “nah he’s shit” camp but six goals is six goals, so maybe I’m doing him a dis-service?
I mentioned last week about how Palace can’t defend set pieces and all three Swansea goals came down that route. How can a team with so many big bastards in it (their two full backs are well over six foot, Zaha’s a big lad and they’ve got Benteke and Wickham up front, not to mention the two centre halves) be so shit at defending corners? Benteke was at least partly responsible for two of those goals. That time he spent training with Mario last summer has obviously rubbed off on him as he repeatedly half arsed his marking assignments.
Fortunately for Palace, Swansea couldn’t deal with set plays either and Tomkins bundled in after a corner to set the home side’s nerves jangling. It was no surprise when Palace equalised although it was a total fluke, as Zaha’s cross deflected off Cork and flew over the keeper into the top corner. Cruel that, but when you’re in a run like Swansea’s this is the kind of shit you have to contend with.
All the momentum was with Palace now and from another corner Benteke gave them the lead, although he did his best to miss it from a yard out and it hit both posts before eventually crossing the line. It was difficult to see a way back for Swansea who must have been absolutely devastated at that point but they didn’t feel sorry for themselves and got their reward with two goals in stoppage time.
First Llorente deflected in a Sigurdsson shot to equalise, and then he won it with a tap in after Palace failed to deal with yet another set-piece. The culprit? Benteke again. Six defeats on the spin now for Pards. It’s all gone wrong for him since he did his little dance at Wembley and he might not make it to Christmas at this rate. Fat Sam is sitting back just waiting to see which relegation threatened jabroni throws the most money at him in January.
Onto Sunday now, and there was a Brad Smith sighting at the Emirates. Eddie Howe must have been reading these round ups. Jack Wilshere was back on familiar territory - sat next to fellow permacrock Danny Welcrap in the stands.
Arsenal made hard work of it against Bournemouth but eventually came through to win 3-1. Bournemouth gifted them the opening goal when Cook put it on a plate for Sanchez. Bet he doesn’t do any of that shit this weekend against us, the big dope. Wilson then won and converted a pen to equalise only for Walcott to head Arsenal in front again (feel free to get injured any time now Theo son). Bournemouth had chances to level it before Sanchez eventually wrapped it up in stoppage time.
Arsenal were unbeaten in all competitions since we turned them over on the opening day, but has there ever been a more unconvincing unbeaten run than that? By that, I mean how many times this season have you seen them and said “damn, Arsenal are looking great, they’re going to take some stopping”. Same old Arsenal to me, and that record went up in smoke when Southampton went to the Emirates and dumped them out of the league cup.
While Arsenal were bowing out of the cup the Mancs were winning their tie against West Ham easily enough, but they had been unable to beat the same opponents three days earlier in the league, having to settle for a 1-1 draw in a game they dominated.
Sakho put the Hammers ahead in the second minute and although Ibrahimovic equalised soon after that’s how it finished. Soft shite was sent to the stands yet again after kicking a water bottle in frustration after Pogba was booked for diving. He was also banned from the touchline for the following game.
I’d actually have some sympathy with him over this one if him and his assistant weren’t such cunts. To be fair, it will have looked like a clear foul on Pogba from where he was sat so I don’t blame him for reacting the way he did, but for that Rui Faria twat to come out afterwards and have a go at the ref for not giving them a free kick though just sums them up. He’ll have seen the replay and will have known by this point that the ref got it right.
What should have happened is Mourinho should have come out and apologised for losing his rag, explained it was because he thought he’d been hard done by but having seen the replay he now knows the referee was right. Had he done that, maybe he wouldn’t have been given the one game ban. A bit of humility can often go a long way, but that’s not a word he’s familiar with.
Also on Sunday, Stoke beat Watford 1-0. It was a bad tempered affair, mainly due to Watford players constantly fouling Stoke players and then Mazzarri getting upset with the ref for awarding free-kicks. Stoke deserved to win it and it should have been more comfortable than it was. Shaqiri was brilliant but the thing that jumped out at me while watching this was just how wrinkly Imbulo’s head is. It looks like a giant raisin. If you’ve got a head like that, why would you not just grow hair to cover it? Unless he can’t, the poor guy.
In terms of shit weeks for managers, spare a thought for Ronald Koeman who has even given Pulis a run for his money. First he took the Blues back to the club he left in the summer and saw his old side totally outplay his new one (the 1-0 defeat flattered Everton massively), and then he had to redecorate his crimbo tree because the loony element of the Blues support (by that I mean all of them) went mad when they saw his tree had red on it. This coming after he’d already pissed them off by talking up our title chances and saying Lukaku should be playing for a bigger club.
I hope that big fat contract is worth it Ronald, because I don’t think you had any idea what you were letting yourself in for.
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