A disrupted weekend in the Premier League this week due to the FA Cup, but that was no bad thing as we were able to make up ground on the rest of the top four contenders for what seems like the first time in months.
I’ll kick things off at the bottom though and the six pointer at the KC Stadium. Hull entertained Swansea knowing that defeat would probably consign them to the drop as a bit of a gap had been opening up. They were helped by Llorente going off injured early doors but for much of the game they were struggling and Swansea looked the more likely winners.
Then off the bench came….. Oumar Niasse!! to score twice to give them the points. Mawson did pull one back in stoppage time (he seems to score every other week him) from a Sigurdsson cross (he defo scores or assists every other week) but it was too little too late. The result drags Swansea back closer to the bottom three and puts Hull just three points back now. I’m rooting for them to stay up, don’t ask me why, I just am for some reason.
Believe it or not, Niasse was linked with Arsenal this week. How funny would it be if it turned out that he’s actually boss but just trolled the Blues into thinking he was a cart horse?
Speaking of the Blues, they had too much for West Brom at Goodison and ran out comfortable 3-0 winners. That was as good as it got for them this week though as Lukaku went and took a big dump over their feelgood mood by turning down a new contract. He then smeared that dump all over their faces by saying the reason he turned it down is because they’re shite and didn’t buy the players he wanted them to. Needless to say Koeman wasn’t impressed. They could always sell him and bring Niasse back.
The commentator on this game informed us that Pulis has never finished in the top ten in his entire managerial career. I didn’t know that, but what a fucking loser. Even Moyes has had a few top ten finishes. I’m genuinely taken aback by that, but it’s ace and I hope it continues. Tony 'bottom half' Pulis.
Moving on, and desperately in need of a win Bournemouth were without Mings and Surman for the visit of West Ham on Saturday. The pair were suspended after their respective run ins with Ibrahimovic last week. Mings of course was given a five game ban for what may or may not have been a deliberate stamp on the United striker. Whether it was intentional or not, at least the FA have made a stance against players stamping on prone opponents and they should be applauded for that.
What’s that you say? Rojo blatantly and deliberately stamped on Hazard on Monday night and nothing is being done about it? Great job FA, great job *slow hand clap*
Seriously, what’s Rojo got on referees? He must have photos of them sucking off pigs or taking part in some referee only orgy or something. Maybe he had spies at Anthony Taylor’s stag week? He basically does what he wants doesn’t he? He’s had a couple of terrible two footed tackles and now a stamp and he seems immune from punishment. Of course the badge on his shirt helps, but still, this is extreme even by United standards.
I’ll get to the mancs’ cup exit at Chelsea in due course though, back to Bournemouth for now.
They should have taken the lead in the 9th minute from the penalty spot but Josh King shot wide. The decision had been given against Feghouli for a pull on Daniels. It was the right decision but I’ve noticed that every time he makes a big call, Bobby Madley always looks dead upset and is giving it the “you gave me no choice, look what you made me do” expression. Fucking weirdo.
Seconds later Antonio was firing in at the other end and then dancing like a moron. His celebrations make me not want to like him, which is a shame as there’s actually quite a lot to like about him.
Bournemouth then had another penalty when Pugh took a terrible dive under challenge from Fonte. An apologetic Madley pointed to the spot again, and Afobe stepped up and missed too. 1-0 down and having missed two pens, it wasn’t looking good for Eddie Howe’s men but King bounced back from his penalty miss and bagged himself a hat-trick, including a late winner after Ayew had levelled for the Hammers.
I had to watch this one with the sound turned down because Motson went “the Full Motty” and was screeching like a banshee. I tolerated it up to the second penalty miss and then reached for the mute button. Seriously BBC, get rid of the irritating old goat.
Finally on this, I don’t like Steve Cook but I wasn’t sure why until now. The goal he scored against us obviously didn’t help, but I’ve now realised it’s because he looks like that Tony Bellew arsewipe.
That’s it for the Premier League, but there’s a couple of cup games that I can’t let pass without comment. First, the Mourinho Bowl at Stamford Bridge. What an absolute cunt off that turned out to be. Mourinho, Costa, Rojo, Herrera, Chelsea fans…. what a bunch of absolute fucking wrong uns.
Costa gets a pass for his shithousery because it’s ok to do it against Mourinho (and Rojo). Anything goes on that front as far as I’m concerned, and on that basis Conte went up in my estimations by getting in Mourinho’s stupid face and yelling at him. Have to say I wanted to dislike Conte but I really can’t find any reason to other than him being top of the table. Him screaming at Mourinho was great, I loved it. I wish he’d have smacked him on the chin but maybe next time.
Mourinho pulled his old “get everyone to take turns booting the star player” routine but it backfired when Herrera made the mistake of doing it when he was already on a booking and got himself sent off. That’s been about three years in the making that, as the little shitbag gets away with murder on a weekly basis.
The sending off actually worked to Mourinho’s advantage as it gave him a ready made excuse for the defeat he was getting no matter what. In fact, it even allowed him to try and spin the narrative into it being a heroic failure against all the odds. Some of the shite he spouted after this was incredible even by his standards. Pogba was the best player on the pitch apparently, and anyone who disagrees is only doing so because they won’t earn 10% of what Pogba gets paid.
I’m sick of saying this, but he’s SHITE, and I’d be saying it if he was earning ten quid a week or a million quid. A turd is a turd regardless of how much it stinks. Or something. Not a great analogy, but for some reason I can’t talk about Pogba without thinking about a big steaming turd.
Chelsea’s fans though, fucking hell. It doesn’t sit well with me that they seem to hate Mourinho now, because they were fine with him being the biggest cunt in football when he was winning stuff for them. But ok, they’ve seen the light now and don’t like him. So that’s fine, boo him and call him a wanker or whatever floats your boat.
What you’re not entitled to do though is call him Judas, because although he is a great many things, a Judas is not one of them. YOU SACKED HIM. TWICE!!! How is he a Judas? It’s not like he sold Chelsea down the river because he got a better offer. Do these idiots even know what the term Judas means? I don’t think they do, I reckon they just think it’s a word that’s thrown around to people who used to be at your club at one time and who you no longer like.
It could be worse though, they could be Arsenal fans. They’ve eclipsed Chelsea as the biggest embarrassment in London. Just when I thought I’d seen the worst thing I’m likely to see all season with that Kane and Alli handshake debacle last week, Arsenal fans blew them out of the water with their latest protest against Wenger. Some cunt actually had a “Wexit” banner. I don’t even know what to say, I’m just appalled on so many levels.
Even without that horrifying banner the protests are in poor taste, but that “Wexit” monstrostity just took the thing to a whole new, incredibly shit level. This is their most successful manager ever and they’re hounding him like he’s an owner on the take. Have a word with yourselves you bellends.
Arsenal are 5th from top, not 5th from bottom, and if they win their games in hand they go above us into fourth. I get that they’re sick of not challenging for the title and they’re certainly entitled to feel disappointed and ready for a change, but their fans are marching through the streets chanting about how Wenger is killing their club and needs to fuck off. Fucking ungrateful, self entitled drama queens.
What’s funny about this is by all accounts the decision as to whether he stays or goes will be made by the man himself. The board aren’t going to sack him and leaving it up to him what he does. Wenger says the protests will have an influence on what he decides, which I desperately hope means he gives them the ultimate “shove your protests right up your arses, blud” and signs that two year extension.
Go on Arsene son, you know it makes sense.
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