Everything pointed to it being a shit weekend. Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal all had relatively easy looking games, no-one really cares how City do anymore and we faced the prospect of United closing to within two points of us if we didn’t get something at Old Trafford. Saturday’s games went exactly as expected but at least Sunday wasn’t the nightmare it could have been.
I had been holding out some hope that Leicester might turn the clock back 12 months and give Chelsea a bit of a chasing, but it was not to be, even though Chelsea were without Costa. He’s been on his best behaviour all season but it’s never good bottling it all up and eventually it all came exploding out as he had a furious training ground row with Conte and was subsequently dropped from the squad. It seems he wants a move to China, which he’ll probably get but not until the summer. We live in hope that he gives Conte the same level of commitment he gave Mourinho last season.
It will be interesting to see how Chelsea fans react to him when he returns. They need him if they’re going to have a chance at winning the title, but it’s got to be hard to take when your best player wants to leave to go and play in fucking China. Still, if they expect any kind of loyalty out of Costa then more fool them. This is a fella who jibbed off the country in which he was born and raised because Spain was a better option, so he’s not going to give a flying fuck about Chelsea.
They beat Leicester easily enough even without him though. It would have been easier to take if it had been Hazard turning on the style and winning the game for them, but when it’s some slapdick left back who flopped at Sunderland and Bolton that does the damage, that sticks in the throat a bit. Still, at least it wasn’t Victor fucking Moses I suppose.
It’s got to be hard for Leicester fans though, because I think now they almost have to completely forget that the title ever happened if they’re going to be able to enjoy their footy and not judge the manager and players too harshly. Last year is never going to happen again, they’ll never get even remotely close to those heights again but it’s not easy to just shrug and accept that.
The reality is that the clock struck midnight and they turned back into a pumpkin. Can supporters get back to their previous mentality where a 1-0 home win over Hull was cause to go home happy? We’ll see, but now that they’ve had a taste of success it’s not easy to go back to being nobodies, and whereas finishing 12th would have been seen as a great achievement 18 months ago, now it could get a manager the sack.
Meanwhile, Spurs look to be the biggest danger to Chelsea at the moment. They’re banging in goals for fun at the moment and hit another four against West Brom to leapfrogged us into second spot. Kane got a hat-trick and this might sound a bit strange, but I really don’t feel like he gets the credit he deserves. I know everyone acknowledges that he’s really good, but he’s way better than that. He’s close to being a legitimate superstar as he’s fucking brilliant. He’s right up there with Costa and Aguero, except he’s not as unstable as either of them (and not as injury prone as Aguero). If I had my pick of that trio I’m taking “the Chin” all day.
It’s easy to say this is a different Spurs these days and it probably is. I’m holding off on that though as I thought they were different last year only for them to prove me wrong by doing their usual choking dog routine when it really mattered. Until they prove otherwise, I’ll just live in hope that they’re the same old Spurs and they’ll fall away when the pressure gets too much for them.
Same goes for Arsenal, who cruised to a 4-0 win at Swansea, aided by two own goals. Honestly, could the last month or so have been any more Arsenal? Every time they look like it might be their year, they have a wobble that puts them behind the eight ball and has the fans wanting Wenger’s head, and every year they then have a run of easy games that relieves the pressure. They had a bad spell a few weeks ago but they’re back in business again now and level with us on the back of a soft run of fixtures that once again allowed them to rack up a few wins and get back up there.
After they got beat at City the Wenger hokey cokey meter hit OUT with such force that the after shock of it registered on the richter scale. The pressure was right on, but then lo and behold the fixture list throws up West Brom, Palace, Bournemouth (which they almost lost), Swansea, Burnley and Watford. It happens every fucking year. Arsenal are basically just living the same over and over. It’s Groundhog Season. When Wenger gets out of bed every morning he probably hears “I got you babe” by Sonny & Cher on the radio.
Tell you what’s been great. Fat Sam not making any kind of impact whatsoever at Palace yet. He defo thought he’d walk in there and start winning games right away with the talent they’ve got, but so far he’s been worse than Pards. The only way they’re getting that “new manager bounce” they thought they’d get is if they use the fat cunt as a bouncy castle.
He even lost to a West Ham side that didn’t have Payet, who’s basically gone on strike because he wants to move. What a dick, he only signed a new contract a few months back. At least wait until the summer. Still, it’s a bit rich hearing “Better Call Slav” crying about Payet’s conduct given that he did THE EXACT FUCKING SAME THING when he was a West Ham player back in the day. In fact, what Bilic did was far worse because he was trying to force a move to Everton for fucks sake.
My boy Big Andy is in great form at the moment, which would be great news for the Hammers if it wasn’t inevitable that he’ll get injured in the next week or two. I’m surprised he isn’t already actually, because you know he won’t out on the lash to celebrate his amazing goal against Palace. He’s always had that type of goal in him, he’s gone close to doing that loads of times so this wasn’t a surprise. People need to slow their roll on the goal of the season talk though. It’s not even West Ham’s goal of the season.
The other thing I took from this game is that even this far into the season I’m still having these “fuck me, when did they sign him?” moments. Loic Remy at Palace? When did that happen and where the hell has he been for the last couple of years? Apparently he’s on loan from Chelsea. I honestly thought he left them two years ago. I can’t even remember the last time I saw him.
Elsewhere, the last time Hull played Bournemouth they lost 6-1. They took them on again this weekend with a new manager who nobody had heard of, and they only went and fucking won didn’t they? They fell behind to a Stanislas pen that was awarded for a foul on that little chubby Scottish lad who ruined us. I said he’d do nothing else after that game but credit to him, he’s in the team every week now and regularly making things happen. Pretty damning on £15m Jordon Ibe that he’s lost his place to this nobody though.
Abel Hernandez scored twice (the second was ace) and Tyrone Mings put through his own net on his first league appearance in 16 months. Poor bastard, he’s been through hell with injury, he finally gets on the pitch and Hernandez did him for both goals and he also scored an oggy. That’s some Jon Walters shit right there.
Speaking of everyone’s least favourite Tory supporting Ellesmere Port faced Blueshite, he was nowhere to be seen as Stoke won at Sunderland. Arnautovic gave them an early lead with a rather fortuitous goal, but there was nothing lucky about his second which was fucking brilliant. Crouchy out jumped Big Vito to head in the third, and once again I just found myself grinning from ear to ear when I saw it. Nobody in football makes me smile more than Peter Crouch, it’s just an instinctive reaction.
Defoe - who else - pulled one back for the Mackems and all this was before half time. That was how it finished though, leaving Sunderland rooted in the relegation zone. Moyes was asked afterwards how they can get out of it, and he threw his players under the bus. “The players have to take more responsibility and stop making individual mistakes.” That’s one way of looking at it I suppose. Another would be “stop buying shite mancs you fucking bog eyed tit”.
Joey Barton is back in the Premier League and back with Burnley. I’ll be honest, I didn’t even know he played there before as I’ve got no memory of it, but apparently he did and was a big favourite with the fans. He’ll be even more popular after coming on as a sub against Southampton and scoring the winner within a minute or two.
Burnley are tenth in the league. TENTH!! Can you believe that? If they stay there or thereabouts then Dyche is manager of the year regardless of whatever else happens. They’ve got the third best home record in the division, which is what you need when you’re tipped for relegation. They’re pitiful away from home like, but it doesn’t matter when you can win so many home games.
Southampton are a funny team though. They can get good results and make you think they’re decent, but then they’ll lose in the most lacklustre, disappointing fashion. If they put us out of the league cup then our players should be ashamed of themselves.
Watford and Boro drew 0-0 at Vicarage Road. It was dire. I see Middlesbrough have signed that big Rudy Gestede jabroni. What’s the over / under on how many goals he’ll score between now and the end of the season? I’ll set it at 1.5 and I’m taking the under. That one goal will be against us too.
I saw that Tom Cleverley is on Watford’s bench now having been loaned out by the Blues. Just for old times sake, I googled “Roberto Martinez and Tom Cleverley”….
“I wouldn’t sell him for any money in the current market. The value that you can give to him... clearly for whatever reason he didn’t fit in another football club, but in another football club, in our football club you can really see the value that he has, the effect he has on other players.
Being English is an incredible, incredible premium and I want to see him go from strength to strength because I know there is so much more to come from him. You saw the delivery, the work rate. I think we have ten goals a season to get into his game very quickly. And I think he can go even further.
“I know Tom really well and I don’t think you can have a better English player with the ability and the experience and the tough lessons that he has had to go through. Technically as good as you are going to get. Probably his football understanding as good as you are going to get and that showed today.
The way he executes, the way that he reads the game, the way he gives you a platform for the ball. “For me he is one of the most sensational free transfers you are going to see in Premier League history.”
I miss good ol’ Bobby.
Everton don’t though. They would never have been able to do what they did to City if Martinez was still there. Koeman got his tactics spot on and we’ve seen before what can happen to City when teams exploit their weaknesses (Leicester for example). Guardiola got all arsey again in his post match interview and it wouldn’t surprise me if he jibbed it at the end of the season as that job ain’t the walk in the park he thought it would be.
Plus going from massive clubs like Barca and Bayern, who are basically footballing institutions, to the soulless cash pit that is Man City must be a bit of a disappointment too. City just doesn’t compare to Liverpool, United or even Arsenal in any way at all. They’re small time. You know what City are? Everton with a winning lottery ticket.
The 4-0 score flattered Everton a fair bit but it still shows you just how easy it is to get at City. I was happy with the result as City losing benefits us more than Everton losing. The mad thing is that we’re still only three points ahead of City, even though it feels as though they lose every other week.
The only downside to that result is that all week we’ve been subjected to the Blues harping on about that kid who looks like Ray Parlour’s bastard son. He played really well to be fair, but we’ve been here before haven’t we? Michael Branch was better than Fowler, Danny Cadamarteri was better than Owen and Jack Rodwell (and then Ross Barkley) was going to eclipse Gerrard. This kid already has something in common with Rodwell as they’ve both been on the winning side for Sunderland on the same number of occasions.
Update: So yeah, fair to say I know Andy Carroll pretty well….
"Whiplash" eh? Bet that’s the name of whatever Shots he was necking last Saturday night.
Recommended Comments
There are no comments to display.