Spurs took care of business with the minimum of fuss on Saturday against Watford, who for some reason decided to leave Deeney on the bench. Waving the white flag there, you absolute bums.
Spurs are rampant at the moment though and in most other years they’d probably be Champions. You know why they’re up there? They take care of business against shite, that’s why. They’re unbeaten at home and they’ve lost just three games this season; away to us, Chelsea and United.
Alli and Son are both quality and they could, you might even say should, be playing for us. Eriksen too for that matter. All of them were heavily linked with us at one time, but just like Virgil Van Dijk they “were not for us”. Still, pin it all on Brendan and it’s pay rises and promotions all round eh?
Spurs get it right more often than we do, but they’re not perfect as that Vincent Janssen is an absolute fucking cart horse. He failed to convert from two yards against Watford, but it doesn’t matter because Kane has come back from injury way ahead of schedule so they don’t need him. Annoying when that happens, especially as our players so often end up having setbacks that keep them out even longer (Sturridge, Henderson, Lovren, Grujic, Matip etc).
That win briefly closed the gap on Chelsea to four points, but Conte’s side swatted Bournemouth aside in the evening kick off. They took the lead in farcical circumstances when a woefully sliced, miles off target shot from Costa hit Adam Smith on the head and sneaked inside the post. Hazard quickly put them two up with a brilliantly taken second.
Josh King’s deflected shot gave Bournemouth some hope but Alonso’s curling free-kick made it safe. Eddie Howe’s men gave a good account of themselves but Chelsea won this in second gear.
Elsewhere, Man City weren’t great against Hull but they did enough to win comfortably. El Hamady’s own goal gave them the lead before half time and Aguero squeezed in a second just after the break. 38 goals in his last 43 starts, and yet there’s talk that City will let him go. If they did, we should be first in the queue, after all, we’ve got £200m to spend this season according to the local press. What? It could happen.
Delph fired in a third but Ranocchia grabbed a late consolation for the visitors as the recalled Claudio Bravo showed that seven games on the bench hasn’t turned him into a goalkeeper.
Not a great result for Hull but they would have viewed anything picked up against City as a bonus. Swansea on the other hand, will have been looking at the trip to West Ham as a great chance to put some distance between themselves and Hull and also close the game on the Hammers and drag them into it, but they failed miserably.
Kouyate’s long range strike settled the game and Swansea were lucky to keep the score so close given they only managed one shot all day. One point from their last five after they had looked like they were clawing their way out of it. They look screwed, but these things usually have plenty of twists and turns and drama so we’ll see. I want them to go down now because if it’s a choice between them or Hull, then Marco Silva’s side deserve to stay up more.
West Ham are more or less safe now, unfortunately. Lanzini was booked for diving but at least he didn’t plead his innocence. He just laughed, patted the ref on the back and accepted his punishment. West Ham stink but Lanzini is good to watch, he’s a nice little player him.
Moving on, and Southampton had Fraser Forster to than for the three points they picked up at West Brom. The Baggies had chance after chance but couldn’t beat the keeper who had one of those rare days when he doesn’t look like a big gormless dope. Actually that’s not strictly true, as he still looked like a big gormless dope but it was one of those rare days when he looked like a quality keeper.
Jordy Clasie got the game’s only goal with a lovely strike in the first half. His first goal for the club, which is pretty shit for a box to box midfielder with an international pedigree.
Another man in the middle of a drought is Soloman Rondon, who hasn’t scored for 16 games. Get your money on him breaking that streak this weekend against us. Nailed. On.
Boro and Burnley ended goalless, which will have come as a surprise to absolutely nobody. The only talking point from this was the incompetence of Martin Atkinson who should have reduced Burnley to ten men.
Keane was the last man when he brought down Bamford, yet Atkinson only produced a yellow card. Sometimes these decisions are tricky because of covering defenders, but this was as clear cut as you’ll see, although Phil Neville disagrees, which for me just makes it even more clear cut as he’s a fucking moron. His older brother obviously got the ability AND the brains, although clearly neither of them got the looks.
Onto Sunday now, and Leicester’s winning run under fat back stabber Shakespeare came to a shuddering halt at Goodison.
Jarg Ray Parlour put Everton ahead in the first minute but Slimani equalised more or less straight away after good work by Gray on the counter, and Albrighton put the Foxes in front with a fortuitous free-kick soon after. Lukaku equalised and Jagielka made it 3-2 before Lukaku wrapped it up with his second of the day.
Barkley went out on the town to celebrate afterwards and got himself sparked. There are all sorts of rumours as to what the reason for it was. I’m not sure you’d even need a reason do you? I mean just look at the cunt. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving little scrote.
Speaking of which, what about those Leicester fans in Madrid eh? How long before shirt sales of “Vardy 9” are quickly going to be overtaken by “Brexit 16”? Initially I wanted Leicester to go through before I saw their fans carrying on like that and making a show of themselves and the rest of English football. Fuck them and their “German bomber” song, and seriously, who gives a fuck about who Gibraltar “belongs” to?
Meanwhile, Moyes continued his dismal record when facing his former clubs as Sunderland predictably lost at home to the Mancs. I didn’t watch it, (why would I?) but I have seen the Larssen sending off and it’s a fucking joke. No surprise to see that little rat Herrera milking it for all he could though. Aside from his manager, he’s the most detestable little cunt in English football.
The mancs have benefitted from having twice as many favourable refereeing decisions as anybody else and they haven’t lost since October, but despite all that they’ve only just managed to slither from 6th to 5th on the back of Arsenal imploding.
Speaking of which, that was hilarious on Monday night. I’ve no love for Palace, but I really enjoyed that. Zaha was impressive again, Sakho continued to add a few quid to his transfer value and Cabaye scored a beauty, but the real story was the lack of balls shown by Arsenal again, and the way their fans completely turned on the team.
“You’re not fit to wear the shirt” they chanted throughout the second half, and at one point when the ball went into their end, they kept hold of it to make sure the players had to stand there listening to it. All very unsavoury, all very fucking funny. I’ll leave the final word to Arsenal Fan TV. Enjoy….
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