Report by
Dave Usher at Anfield
The repeated chants of “murderers” from the away end was quite apt really, because we absolutely fucking murdered Everton. They should count themselves lucky they got away with just a four goal defeat as it should have been double that. 37 shots to three. When was the last time that happened in any game, let alone a derby?
It was the most one sided derby I’ve ever seen but it’s difficult to know how much of that was us being great or them being horrendous. Probably somewhere in the middle of both really. We’re definitely on a roll at the moment but they never really looked up for the fight and once they went down to ten men they knew it was just about damage limitation and they packed their defence and hoped for the best.
Even before that shithouse Funes Mori saw red though this game was over. Two quick goals just before half time ended any resistance Everton may have been offering, but the only surprise was how long it took us to score because we hammered them for pretty much that entire half. They had two or three early counter attacks that looked quite dangerous, but they were rare moments of respite for them in a half of domination from the Reds.
The one time they looked they might score Sakho just stretched out a telescopic leg to take the ball off Lukaku. Aside from that the only thing they offered was a Mirallas shot that almost hit the corner flag and a Barkley effort over the bar from distance. Let’s be honest, Everton were fucking pitiful. It’s not often these days you hear chants of “You’re so shit it’s unbelievable” but this was entirely warranted. They’re Wigan with better players. Long live Bobby Brown Shoes.
As shit as they were, it doesn’t really take anything away from how impressive we looked. Lallana started the game like a house on fire, charging about here there and everywhere. He had a great chance to put us ahead after five minutes when Everton got caught out from their own corner and he found himself one on one with the keeper. He tried to roll it under him but Robles made a good save with his foot. Firmino would have had a tap in had Lallana squared it, but in fairness most players would have taken it on themselves in that situation. You have to score though.
Firmino then had a similar opportunity with the same outcome as his shot was kept out by the keeper's foot. His first and second touches as he plucked a Milner pass out of the air were exquisite, and some of his little touches and turns were a joy to watch, even if he did flit in and out of the game before being substituted after an hour or so.
Milner was involved in everything but I spent most of the first half freaking out about the idea of him getting sent off. He was booked early on for his second foul of the game, but I thought it was harsh as he’d been played into trouble by a bad pass and I don’t think he even saw Baines coming and the foul was completely accidental. The little hobbit gobshite made a right meal of it and the ref pulled out the yellow card.
After that their players seemed on a mission to get Milner sent off. There was an incident on the touchline where Milner was put in a bad situation with a 50-50 with Lennon. If he’d not gotten the ball he’d be off, but Milner realised he wasn’t certain of getting it so he didn’t make any challenge at all. Lennon got the ball and then ran into Milner, as the Everton bench and some of the players howled for a red card. Twats.
The ref didn’t fall for it but I was having kittens up in the Main Stand. As half time approached I was thinking it might be wise for Klopp to get Allen on in case we ended up down to ten. Milner was having himself a game, he was everywhere and I’d probably say he was our best player even before the assists. As half time approached I was thinking how ridiculous it was that we weren’t in front given how dominant we’d been, and then out of nowhere we had the lead.
Milner whipped a ball in from the right and Origi rose higher than Stones to beat Robles at the back post. Initially I thought it must have taken a deflection as the flight of the ball seemed a bit weird, but replays showed he headed it onto his own shoulder and that’s why it went in with not much power on it.
A minute later it was 2-0 and this time the finish was emphatic. Again Milner was the provider and this time Sakho was left all alone in the box to plant a header into the roof of the net before taking off on a mad one towards the bench. Initially I assumed he was running towards Klopp but it wasn’t, it was Kolo. Either would have understandable of course.
Sakho had to explain his celebration afterwards, which I thought was ridiculous really. “You ran over to Kolo and gave him a hug, what was the reason for that?”. Like anyone needs a reason to hug Kolo. They should be questioning the others as to why they didn’t run over and hug Kolo. If I could, I’d hug Kolo every time we scored. Hell, I’d do it every time we had a shot. That would have been 37 hugs in this one, and who wouldn’t want to hug Kolo 37 times?
The only thing worse than conceding a goal just before half time is conceding two goals just before half time. Everton were fucked now and they knew it. They weren’t coming back as they don’t have it in them. Martinez has lost the players and he’s lost the fans. At 2-0 down the towel had been thrown in and it was just going to be a question of how many we scored.
Then they were reduced to ten men which made a hammering even more likely. I didn’t have a good view of the incident and didn’t think it was anything sinister when it first happened. I expected a yellow card, and when I heard the huge cheer I assumed there must have been a second yellow for him putting the ball into orbit after the whistle blew.
He’d clearly lost the plot, and then he was slapping the badge on his shirt as he walked off as if to say “that’s for you that is”. The away end lapped it up too, giving him a rapturous ovation as he walked off. I can give them a pass for that as most of them wouldn’t have known how bad the tackle was at the time. I watched them as Origi was stretchered off though and I couldn’t see one of them applauding, the bitter snide bastards.
We have to wait and see just how bad Origi is but it looks touch and go as to whether his season is done. It would be nice if we reach the final and he’s fit for that, because he did so much to get us past Dortmund he deserves to be a part of it. Beating Villarreal just got a whole lot more difficult though. Fucking dirty blueshite.
Sturridge coming on meant that Everton weren’t going to get any respite and he wasted no time “letting them know what time it is” again. Lucas - who was ace - won the ball high up the pitch and rolled int into his path and Sturridge did the rest. He reckons he scored the fourth too, but I’m not having that. It did brush against his shorts but that’s Coutinho’s goal all the way and if the roles were reversed Coutinho wouldn’t dream of taking that goal off Sturridge.
He had a couple of good efforts from the edge of the box and looked razor sharp again, which bodes well for the games we’ve got coming up. The whole team looked boss though, except Mignolet who had absolutely nothing to do. I don’t think he even touched the ball with his hands at all in the second half, and might have only done so once in the first. Easiest game he’ll ever have.
It’s a little annoying we only scored four. I was pissed off a couple of years ago when we beat them 4-0 because it felt like the players eased off and let them off the hook. Sturridge missed a pen that night that he shouldn’t have been allowed anywhere near as Gerrard was on the pitch, and the last 20 minutes or so we weren’t even trying.
This time I wouldn’t say that. They kept going and never eased up at all. Look at Sakho in the last minute, chasing down McCarthy and tackling him to put the ball out for a goal kick. The players kept going and were hunting for more goals, it just didn’t happen for them. Robles made several saves as we peppered his goal from the edge of the box and there were numerous close calls inside the box too. Even Clyne and Moreno were getting in on the act and could both have scored.
The crowd were loving it. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a derby as much as this. The entire second half was played to a backdrop of the Kop taking the piss out of the away section. It was glorious. "You haven't won a trophy since 1995" boomed out frequently, which then spawned "You haven't won at Anfield since 1999" and there were a few airings of Emlyn's song too. The Kop chanting "Bobby Martinez" must have really pissed them off too. Imagine being a blue and having to sit through that second half? Imagine being a blue?
Joe Allen came on and was ace once again. I’ve got a theory about Wee Joe. Since he grew his beard and his boss hair, his self confidence has gone through the roof. He’s strutting about now thinking “I look cool as fuck I do. I’m like a little Welsh Pirlo” and it’s showing in his performances. He’s a new man and it’s great to see. Bet he absolutely rules in the Euros this summer.
There were good performances all over the pitch and everyone seems to be in a good way at the moment. The confidence seems to be flowing throughout the team and we’ve got no passengers. This is the best we’ve played since we nearly won the title and the only thing that could derail us is these fucking injuries.
Although I was tempted to go for Sakho, Milner is my star man. He covers so much ground every game, never seems to show any signs of fatigue and he’s turned into a goal making machine. The crosses for the first two goals were perfect deliveries, and he’s been doing that a lot lately. His crossing with either foot is absolutely brilliant, except when it’s a corner. That little quadrant is like fucking Kryptonite to Milner. Get him away from it and he’s lethal though. He’s really come into his best form at the perfect time, but he’s not the only one.
Team: Mignolet; Clyne, Lovren, Sakho, Moreno; Lucas, Milner (Ibe); Lallana, Firmino (Allen), Coutinho; Origi (Sturridge):
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