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Norwich 2004
Stu Montagu asking the questions...
Ever wondered what possesses Bolton fans to bounce around to "I feel good" after a goal has been scored? Or tried to figure out why so many people like that fat little full back that can't seem to run properly and always seems to be gasping like an asthmatic pensioner?
Well in this first feature, of a possible many, we ask one of our premiership rivals their views on us, them and what the meaning of life may be.
Answering the questions this time round is Ricky Bilverstone, Editor of Canarycorner.com and stereotypical welly wearing farmer type.
So, promoted and mixing it with the big boys, what are going to be Norwich's ambitions for the season?
To somehow pick up enough points to avoid heading straight back down – around 40 is normally enough – but to also bring in a few new players that can add to the teams squad in depth but also give us a little something extra, while making sure we do not overspend and end up in admin like our 'friends' down the road and then need to cheat our way out of it.
Who should we be keeping an eye out for as your star turns when we do battle?
In goal we have a future England international who goes by the name of Robert Green. Not only is he big and strong, but he also has reflexes of a cat!
Defender Adam Drury was described as 'the best left back outside the Premier' last season, so now is his time to play with the men. Also at the back Craig Fleming is one of the most consistent players around.
In attack we have one of the quickest players around in Darren Huckerby, and while most pundits may suggest he cannot produce it at this level, he has done so far this season.
Green has to be encouraged by Kirkland's porcelain bones. So who are the weak links that we should be picking on?
Norwich don't have any weak links, every player that plays does so because he has proved his worth and them that might lack a bit of skill make up for it in the bottle department.
Who are the Liverpool players that you think will trouble you most?
I would have said Owen, but as he has gone it has to be the front two and Steven Gerrard in the centre – though even the centre backs could pose a threat at set pieces.
And which of our players don't you rate at all?
It would have been Heskey, but you somehow managed to mug Birmingham of some money for him, and as far as I am concerned he would have been the only one.
Yes, a tidy £6m, unbelievable isn't it. Who are the fans that you most disliked last season and why?
The most obvious answer is Ipswich Town, not only due to our local rivalry, but because they have to be some of the most arrogant people around, and the same could be said for West Ham as well – who all season said they would win the league.
Any supporters in particular impress you with their wit and enthusiasm?
Preston have always been a decent bunch of lads as were many of the Palace and Crewe lot.
Why is Craig Bellamy such an annoying little rat…was there something that happened to him to make him that way when he was with you?
As far as I am concerned Bellerz will always have a place in my heart and I am sure that goes for many others as well at the club, but he has always had a bit of cockiness and arrogance about him, but then I think that makes him the top class player he is. If only we could get another one or two of him through our door!
Have you got any decent chants that will impress us when you come to Anfield?
'On The Ball City' is said to be the oldest football chant in history, but what you will make of that I do not know. 'One F in Fleming, there's only one F in Fleming' normally gets a little smile from the away fans and I am sure that a chant of 'We Shoot Burglars' will be given at some point during the day in support of farmer Tony Martin.
Hmm, controversial. Moving away from shooting gypsies in the back, we have the might of Jamie Carragher, do you have a club legend that all the fans love for their attitude?
Yes, 'Sir' Iwan Roberts, who left the club on a free transfer at the end of last season, because had it not been for him, his goals and his pure guts then Norwich City would not be here today. There is also Gary Holt, who may not be the most gifted footballer of all time, but he has the heart of a lion, the balls of Elephant and 'Three Lungs'.
Do you have any parasites on the books that need to be gotten off the books?
No! Everyone at the club is here because they want to play football and help try to keep the team in the top flight of English football – anyone that would was only here for the money has now been removed.
Do you think the gap between the Premiership and the "Coca-Cola Elite Super Challenge Championship" is insurmountable or can good management overcome it?
If you take out the top 5/7 clubs I don't think the gap is really that immense. Yes teams that have been in the Prem for a long time are going to have a little more money than the new boys, but heart and pride can sometimes make up for what you lack in the skills department and most teams are capable of beating each other.
Is Delia liked or loathed? Enlighten us.
Loved, more than any other shareholder or owner the club has ever had. City were 23 hours away from going out of business when she came along and paid off much of the clubs debts and secured the ones she could not pay.
She then opened her own restaurant in the ground which brought in £750k last season, and gave it all to the club, without even taking back what she had put in. She is never going to make money at Norwich, but she does not care, she is a football fan foremost and just wants to see the club she loves survive!
Nice. And finally Ricky, what do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?…Ricky?…Don't walk away man, it's not that bad a joke!
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