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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:03 PM
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sex workers and sex toys

my mate recently visted a prossie and had a wank now his shitting bricks because she placed a vibrator on his cock i keep telling him he's ok but he's getting o my nerves how can i placate him

thoughts?
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:07 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

He's fucking dead.
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:08 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Everyone has AIDS!
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:10 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Tell him to go to the GUM clinic and get tested. He's probably got fuck all to worry about but if he won't shut the fuck up, it's probably the only way to allay his fears.
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  #5 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:12 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by RED Tezza View Post
my mate recently visted a prossie and had a wank now his shitting bricks because she placed a vibrator on his cock i keep telling him he's ok but he's getting o my nerves how can i placate him

thoughts?
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:12 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

My ex once put her vibrator on my balls. It was horrible. It felt like a midget army was repeatedly punching my nutsack.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:12 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

This is more Red Nick territory.
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:13 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Why pay a prossie for a wank. Ive never met a woman who can do that shit as good as me. Tell him to save up for a blow job.
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:14 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

What's the point of going to a prozzie and only having a wank?
If you're going to do that you'd want at least a bj. Weird.
Oh, and he probably caught scurvy and the mange so you can tell your 'mate' that he's going to die, probably.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:20 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

He'll be OK providing he remembered to wipe the vibrator with a spirt-based cleaning fluid before use. Plastic is an excellent carrier of most STDs.
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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 12:42 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

I bet he isn't telling you the full story. That vibrator was up his arse!!
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 01:07 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Tezza!
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 01:09 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Cock-Rot ahoy
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 01:29 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by longballs View Post
I bet he isn't telling you the full story. That vibrator was up his arse!!
thats probably true but Phily and remmie didn't want me to mention tha.......

shit
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so, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all of your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight just remember who's standing in your way, remember every black day I ever stopped you and and then - AND THEN - do the smart thing... ...let somebody else try first.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 02:22 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

All I know is that you can't catch AIDS from rubbing your bellend on a torn-out page of a porno mag you found on a bus while on your way home from school, I had this confrimed to me by my mum at the age of 12, shortly after she found me crying on the stairs.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 04:14 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anny Road View Post
Why pay a prossie for a wank. Ive never met a woman who can do that shit as good as me. Tell him to save up for a blow job.
Because he's a right lazy bastard?
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 04:41 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fugitive View Post
Cock-Rot ahoy
Fantastic post!

Repped.


Right, i'm off home for a wank.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 04:50 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by RED Tezza View Post
my mate recently visted a prossie and had a wank now his shitting bricks because she placed a vibrator on his cock i keep telling him he's ok but he's getting o my nerves how can i placate him

thoughts?
He'll be fine. Give him a non-gay, mate's blow job and then tell him that if he has it then you have it too.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 04:57 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

When he gets weeping sores and funny coloured discharges he should start worrying. Unless he has caught one of the many dirty diseases with no symptoms until too late which he should also worry about.Hope this helps.
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Old 24th October 2008, 05:36 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

If she was a professional then it would've been covered with a condom if what I hear (yeah yeah) is true
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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 06:38 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anny Road View Post
Why pay a prossie for a wank. Ive never met a woman who can do that shit as good as me. Tell him to save up for a blow job.

are you willing to do a pepsi challenge with said prossie to prove who`s the best?
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 06:40 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisbonnie View Post
are you willing to do a pepsi challenge with said prossie to prove who`s the best?
On me no bother. You pay and nothing goes up my arse.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 06:41 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alan Sex View Post
He'll be fine. Give him a non-gay, mate's blow job and then tell him that if he has it then you have it too.
And then take a picture. But that'll be gay. So, the only way to reverse this is to put your man meat in his mouth to neutralize the gay effect. Eric Cartman does this on South Park with Butters. Everything on that show is real.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 24th October 2008, 09:00 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

That vibro will've been up somebodies arse.

Bet he hasn't thought about that.
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Old 24th October 2008, 09:03 PM
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Re: sex workers and sex toys

YouTube - Team America - Everyone Has Aids
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