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View Poll Results: How big a deal is marriage to you....
Huge, be sure, 100% sure, be struck down dead if it goes wrong... 13 34.21%
Will do my best, always the divorce option at the end of the day... 7 18.42%
who needs paper... 18 47.37%
Voters: 38. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 1st July 2008, 01:39 PM
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Marriage
Following on from some comments in Westderbians thread.

I married my first love if you like, met him when i was 8, we became an item when i was 16.

the question i am raising is does it still have the same magnitude to it, be it overburdening, or zest if you feel positive about it? do you see it as 'if it goes tits up it goes tits up' attitude, or the general what's a bit of paper needed for anyway?

When i tried on my wedding dress years ago, myself, my mum and my cousin were in a posh shop in Chester, i'm there thinking i looked the bee's knee's and ask my mum what she thinks... her response, ''you know my feelings, ah fuck it, you look lovely, you can always get a divorce...'' Nice. In fact i brought it up in my speech during the night time reception.

however, now i feel pretty much the same, its not that big a deal.



(First poll, should of put a betting option on to see if i would fuck it up)
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:44 PM
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Re: Marriage
Never been Married never had the urge always thought I could find lots of other things I'd rather spend my money on.. nothing to do with thinking about divorce or its just a paper just thinking a birthday party is as much fun and alot less pricey..
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:44 PM
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Re: Marriage
No poll needed, weddings mean nothing for me. You won't catch me being in one, ever.
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:44 PM
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Re: Marriage
Defo don't have a blase attitude about marriage. It's fucking hard work though... so much easier being single!!
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:45 PM
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Re: Marriage
Weddings and marriage are for girls.
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:48 PM
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Re: Marriage
I've never been married. Been with my current missus for 4 1/2 years. She's been dropping hints for ages. I'm terrified of marriage because both my parents were abysmal at it.
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:51 PM
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Re: Marriage
Mrs Hamstrung and I are still a bit bemused as to why we bothered. Seemed like a good idea at the time, and we went to Australia and did it so didn't have all the palavar of a traditional marriage. We'd never have done the whole massive churchy white wedding thing.

Its not something that makes any difference in our case, I don't think. So i am probably going to tick the 3rd option, despite having been married for 8 years.
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:53 PM
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Re: Marriage
Originally Posted by dirty_sanchez View Post
I've never been married. Been with my current missus for 4 1/2 years. She's been dropping hints for ages. I'm terrified of marriage because both my parents were abysmal at it.
I think its really strange that people should be scared of marriage coz their parents were shit at it... but I dont understand that..my mumwas crap at swimining but I can swim just fine.. my dad jumped out of planes but I'm terrified of heights.. Why does your parent s success at this influence you when its unlikely any of their other successes or failures influence you?
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Old 1st July 2008, 01:57 PM
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Re: Marriage
i don't think it means you love them any more or less so it is pointless but i defo want to do it.

i don't like a massive fuss tho' and i hate people looking at me so i would be shitting myself. especially at the stupid dance when everyone watched you on the dancefloor on your own.
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:02 PM
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Re: Marriage
Expensive. Two ex-Stringvestas, two ex-properties, and one monthly bill that could keep a small country in foodstuffs, which is redirected to maintain my ex-betrothed in a Jimmy Choo collection that would make Imelda Marcos blanch.

I now limit my carnal/romantic excursions to women who have or earn more money than me. I can't afford another locust attack. And I won't marry again.
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:08 PM
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Re: Marriage
I'm not religious at all really so it would just be a piece of paper to me, and (get a bucket ready to vomit into) I don't think you should need a contract to say that you want to be faithful and loving to someone for the rest of your life, surely that should come as a natural by-product of being in love with them. Having said that, the weddings I've been to have been a good day out and if the future Mrs. Westderbian wanted one then I'd have no problem with it really.
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:13 PM
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Re: Marriage
Having been to two of my mums weddings I know what an utter sham they can be. My step dad now is fucking awesome but the stop gap in between him and my dad was purley a 'conveniant marriage', I was made to call him dad so he didnt feel bad. What a wanker he was.

No for me weddings are not important neither is marriage. If you love someone then be with them who needs a piece a paper to state that. Not that i ever want to love again either - much easier being single. Relationships, love, marriage the whole lot is over-rated.
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:24 PM
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Re: Marriage
I like the idea of the party, in fact, i remember that was one of the reasons, we had been together 7 years and had a rough time after our eldest was diagnosed with medical problems, we wanted to do something positive, thought fuck it, lets get married... have a party and have something to laugh and smile about... maybe not the best reason for a marriage....

i still have the same attitude though, that you can only give something your best, and if that's not enough, there is nothing you can do about it.

I do have another excuse for having a party, my divorce if it ever comes through.... no family invites this time!!
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:53 PM
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Re: Marriage
I have comittment problems apparently.
Actually, there's no apparently, i really do
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Old 1st July 2008, 02:53 PM
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Re: Marriage
Been with my girlfriend for over 12 years now and she's only recently been talking about marriage. I'm certain that if I said that I didn't want to then it would be fine (she's alluded to that) but it seems she's up for it so I'll go along with it. For no other reason than it would make her happy.

When I was a kid I always thought I'd get married, but don't really see the point now. One thing is for sure, it won't be a normal wedding. We're just going to have a big party.
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Old 1st July 2008, 03:24 PM
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Re: Marriage
Originally Posted by AVEEZ View Post
I think its really strange that people should be scared of marriage coz their parents were shit at it... but I dont understand that..my mumwas crap at swimining but I can swim just fine.. my dad jumped out of planes but I'm terrified of heights.. Why does your parent s success at this influence you when its unlikely any of their other successes or failures influence you?
It's not really that I'm expecting my parent's inability to make a marriage work that puts me off, although I'll admit, it lingers in the back of my mind and has made me determined not to rush into it. I think it's more that I'm actually afraid of commitment.
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Old 1st July 2008, 03:29 PM
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Re: Marriage