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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 13th June 2008, 04:54 PM
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Bad Perves
I used to work for a major national firm, and the head of said firm was a bad, bad perve.

He used to insist on seeing photographs of any female receptionists before they were hired, and also only employed them if they were members of a particular cheerleaders group which works part-time at some of the top Rugby league grounds.

The best though, was that at Christmas ALL the women in the company (about 700) got boxes of chocolates saying "Love from ***" on them, but the blokes got fuck all off the company, not even WH Smith vouchers.

His PA was also quite possibly the most stunning blonde I've ever seen, if he hadn't ragged her I reckon he'd at least tried to several times an hour.

I suppose I should have considerd him a bit of a leg, but he just seemed like more of an oily cunt. It wasn't like he was actively trying to bang any of them (I don't think), more like he wanted all the birds to think he was some kind of hero.

What a perve (allegedly).
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Old 13th June 2008, 04:56 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
So fucking what?

When it comes to hiring, my philosophy is that the attractive ones cost exactly the same as the really fit ones.

no brainer.
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Old 13th June 2008, 04:58 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by Tom R View Post
So fucking what?

When it comes to hiring, my philosophy is that the attractive ones cost exactly the same as the really fit ones.

no brainer.
Correct,

I consider the minge benefits of my present office to be worth at least a few grand a year on top of my salary.
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Old 13th June 2008, 04:59 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
At least they're real women.
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:00 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I've just knocked one out over AVEEZ arse...do I qualify?
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:01 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I've worked for so many bad, bad pervs it's not even funny. The Managing Director at this new job is up there with the best. I've been there 3 days, and he's hugged me every time he's seen me, gave me a shoulder massage this afternoon, and kissed me as I was leaving. He was leaning over me earlier asking me to show him something on my screen. He pretended he couldn't see and said he'd have to move closer. I said "If you get any closer you'll need to put a condom on".
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:04 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
That's some slimy shit going on right there.
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You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?

You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:05 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I wouldn't mind, but they are never, ever fit.
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:05 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I've been been interviewed by women on two occasions and got the job both times, it must of been the crease in my trousers that got me the job....
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:11 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by She Knows It View Post
I've worked for so many bad, bad pervs it's not even funny. The Managing Director at this new job is up there with the best. I've been there 3 days, and he's hugged me every time he's seen me, gave me a shoulder massage this afternoon, and kissed me as I was leaving. He was leaning over me earlier asking me to show him something on my screen. He pretended he couldn't see and said he'd have to move closer. I said "If you get any closer you'll need to put a condom on".
*shudders*

however, the condom line... ace...
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:12 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
See, I'm a right perv, but I'm fucking fit so I get away with it.

I don't fuck about with being letchy and slimey and leaning over the desk for some brushing contact and all that jazz.
I just come right out and say things like, "So do you wanna get bummed or what?" I'll often throw in "you mucky cunt" at teh end as well, for good measure like.

They smile.
We have a laugh about it.
They get bummed.

ho ho
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:14 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by Tom R View Post
So fucking what?

When it comes to hiring, my philosophy is that the attractive ones cost exactly the same as the really fit ones.

no brainer.
I admit i dont like pervy bosses. the ones who think they can pinch the office girls bum. Id like to belt them one!
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:16 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by melons View Post
*shudders*

however, the condom line... ace...
However, the condom line... invitation...
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:17 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I gave Pam, our office manager, a wee slap on the arse today. It's good for morale.
She giggled like a school girl, the mucky little cunt.

But you have to have charisma, charm and know that they want you anyway in order to get away with these moves.

This is the crucial element of perving that most "pervs" out there lack.

if you don't have these qualities, stick to whacking off on the internet.
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:18 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by melons View Post
*shudders*

however, the condom line... ace...
Jokes aside though... I'm okay because I'm a mouthy bugger. I won't be walked over so instead of having a quiet word, I'll make them look a dickhead. They'll either have a laugh about it (which he did) or they'll get arsey and give you a dog's life. There's a dead quiet girl, and yesterday he was talking to her while she was sat at her desk, and he squatted next to her and put his arm round her shoulder. The poor woman went stiff as a board, but didn't say anything. I felt so sorry for her, I wanted to go over and kick the bastard and I felt shitty because I couldn't say anything because it was only my first week. Just wait till I've been there a while, I'll be office perv protector.
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:19 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
I thought the pervy bossy would see that as a come on and just thinks you're playing hard to get....
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Old 13th June 2008, 05:21 PM
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Re: Bad Perves
Originally Posted by Tom R View Post
I gave Pam, our office manager, a wee slap on the arse today. It's good for morale.
She giggled like a school girl, the mucky little cunt.

But you have to have charisma, charm and know that they want you anyway in order to get away with these moves.

This is the crucial element of pe