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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 9th May 2008, 02:12 PM
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Cunt.

DEREK:
I'll tell you, the other day some bloke came up to me and .....
CLIVE:
What, Tony Newley?
DEREK:
No, no, I don't know who it was, and he said, "You cunt".
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
I said, "What?" He said, "You cunt".
CLIVE:
Yeah. And you replied, "You fucking cunt".
DEREK:
I said-, I-, no, well, not straight away, I said, "You cunt".
CLIVE:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, .....
DEREK:
And then he said .....
CLIVE:
..... what'd he come back with?
DEREK:
He come back. He says-, he said, "You fucking cunt". I said, "You calling me ..... "
CLIVE:
You're joking! He said, "You fucking cunt"?
DEREK:
He-, yeah, he said, "You call me a cunt, you fucking c-?" I said, "You f-", I said, "You fucking cunt".
CLIVE:
I should hope so, "you fucking cunt".
DEREK:
I s-, I said, "You fucking cunt", I said, "You fucking come here and call me a fucking cunt".
CLIVE:
I should say so.
DEREK:
I said, "You f-", I said, "You cunt". I said, "You fucking cunt". I said, "Who you fucking calling 'cunt', cunt?"
CLIVE:
Yeah, what did he say, cunt?
DEREK:
He said, "You fucking cunt!"
CLIVE:
Well, you fucking cunt, who are you to say to him that he was a fucking cunt?
DEREK:
Well, what d'you fu-, what d'you fucking think, mate, I fucking de-, defending my fucking self, weren't I?
CLIVE:
Well, no, he come up to you, call you "cunt", .....
DEREK:
Yeah!
CLIVE:
..... that's fair enough, what he said, "you fucking cunt", and you said back to him, "you fucking fucking cunt".
DEREK:
I sa-, well, .....
CLIVE:
Well, what do you expect him to say back apart from, "You fucking stupid fucking cunt!"
DEREK:
Well, I don't-, I don't expect nothing, do I?
CLIVE:
No.
DEREK:
But the f-, the cunt come back with, "you fucking cunt", cunt.
CLIVE:
Well, Christ, .....
DEREK:
I said, "You cunt?" I said, "You calling me a fucking cunt .....
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
..... You fucking-", I said, "You fucking cunt".
CLIVE:
Jesus Christ, yeah.
DEREK:
I said, "You-", I said, "You, you fucking cunt".
CLIVE:
Yeah, what-
DEREK:
I said, like that.
CLIVE:
You said it like that, did you, .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... to him, .....
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
..... or was he gone by then?
DEREK:
No, he fucking hit me. Fu-
CLIVE:
Hit you, did he?
DEREK:
Yeah, fucking cunt.
CLIVE:
Killed you dead, did he?
DEREK:
Nah, he-, he fucking hit me. I said, I said, .....
CLIVE:
Yeah, well, you can't blame him, can you?
DEREK:
I said, "You, you rotter".
CLIVE:
Yeah.
DEREK:
And he-, he went off.
CLIVE:
Did he?
DEREK:
And he said, "You cunt" again.
CLIVE:
Well, 't's the only way to deal with him, 'init?
DEREK:
Yeah, well, I-, I showed him, didn't I?
CLIVE:
Yeah, well, you had to, didn't you? You had to stand up for what you stood for, didn't you? I mean, the only time I remember a similar occasion was, I was in, errm, I was at Spurs, Tottenham Hotspurs.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
I was watching a game against Arsenal, and this bloke come up to me and said, "Hello".
DEREK:
Oh no .....
CLIVE:
And I thought, "Christ!"
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
You know, this bloke comes up to me, says "hello", .....
DEREK:
Provocative fucker.
CLIVE:
..... fucking provocative.
DEREK:
Mmm.
CLIVE:
I said, "What d'you mean, 'hello'?" And, do you know what he came back with?
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
He said, erm, "I just meant, 'hello'" I said, "Hur hur, I can sussed you out .....
DEREK:
Yeah, right.
CLIVE:
..... right, for a starter, .....
DEREK:
Yeah, right.
CLIVE:
..... 'ere, get this in the bollocks for a start!" So I kicked him right in the balls, he fell to the floor, and as he fell to the floor he said, "Euuughh!" I said, "Don't you 'Euuughh' me, mate!"
DEREK:
I-, yeah, like he comes in with 'hello' and then goes out with 'euuughh'.
CLIVE:
Yeah, I said, "Don't you 'Euuughh' me, mate!" and I kicked his fucking teeth in!
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
Then he went, "Aaaghh!", and I said, "Fucking hell! .....
DEREK:
I said, "This is fucking too much", eh?
CLIVE:
..... Don't you fucking 'Aaaghh' me!"
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
And I really kicked his ear in, you know.
DEREK:
Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE:
Bunged him right in the ear with the left boot.
DEREK:
Yeah.
CLIVE:
And, d'you know he still had the audacity to come out with, "Hugh-eugh-ugh-eugh-ugh I'm dying!" Well, what could I say to that? I just walked away. I left the situation. I wasn't going to be, you know, put upon in that way.
DEREK:
You weren't going to be dictacted to, were you?
CLIVE:
Well, no, why should I be dictated to?
DEREK:
No, exactly, no.
CLIVE:
By some cunt who says 'euuughh!'
DEREK:
Yeah, preceding it with 'hello'!
CLIVE:
Yeah. 'Hello' was the worst thing, that's what got me going.
DEREK:
Fucking cunt, yeah, what a cunt.
CLIVE:
What a cunt, eh?
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 9th May 2008, 02:14 PM
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Re: Cunt.

Still, if it's an endangered species... I say fuck em
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 9th May 2008, 02:21 PM
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lifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud oflifetime fan has much to be proud of
Re: Cunt.

#As I was walking down the street one day
I saw a house on fire
There was man, shouting and screaming at an upper-storey window
To the crowd that was gathered there below
For he was sore afraid

#Jump! You fucker, jump!
Jump into this here blanket what we are holding
And you will be all right
He jumped, hit the deck, broke his fucking neck -
There was no blanket

#Laugh?! We nearly shat!
We had not laughed so much since Grandma died
Or Auntie Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle
We are miserable sinners
Fi-i-ilthy fuckers

#Ahhhrrrr-soles
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 9th May 2008, 02:26 PM
dudek#1's Avatar
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Re: Cunt.

And now it's back to topless darts at Roehampton
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