General Knowledge

[Plewggs]

All true apparently..............

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"?

Contestant: Homosexuals.

Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.



BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)

Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?

Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.

Theakston: There's a clue in the title.

Contestant: Leicester.



PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)

Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?

Contestant: Er. . .

Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . ..

Contestant: Blimey?

Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .

Contestant: (Silence.)

Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .

Contestant: Walked?



BBC NORFOLK

Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: I don't know.

White: I'll give you some clues. What do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?

Contestant: Arm.

White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're . .?

Contestant: Strong.

White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?

Contestant: Louis.

White: Well, there we are then. So, who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?

Contestant: Frank Sinatra?



LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)

Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy?

Contestant: France.

Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.

Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.

Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?

Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.

Trelinski: Just guess a country then.

Contestant: Paris.



THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: Prison or the Conservative Party?

Contestant: The Conservative Party.



BEACON RADIO, Wolverhampton

DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?

Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?



UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)

Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?

Contestant: Goosey?



GWR FM, Bristol

Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?

Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.



RTE RADIO 2FM, Ireland

Presenter: What is the name of the long-running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The. .?

Caller: Mohicans.



RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?

A: Forrest Gump.



LINCS FM PHONE-IN

Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?

Contestant: Barcelona.

Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Q: What is the world's largest continent?

A: The Pacific



RICHARD AND JUDY (C4))

Presenter: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?

Contestant: Er. . .

Presenter: He makes bread. . .

Contestant: Err...

Presenter: He makes cakes . .

Contestant: Kipling Street?



THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)

Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War I to an end in 1918?

Contestant: Magna Carta?



BREAKFAST SHOW (RADIO 1)

Chris Moyles: Which 's' is a kind of whale that can grow up to 80 tonnes?

Contestant: Ummm. . .

Moyles: It begins with 's' and rhymes with 'perm'.

Contestant: Shark.



JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)

O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?

Contestant: Well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth. . . er . . . Three?



CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)

Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

Caller: Japan.

Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.

Caller: Er . . . Mexico?



PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)

Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.



DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)

Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

Contestant: Holland?

Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

Contestant: No.



THE VAULT (ITV)

Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?

Contestant: Nostalgia.



STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (RADIO 2)

Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?

Contestant: Jesus



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: Dizzy Gillespie is famous for playing what?

Contestant: Basketball.



DOG EAT DOG (BBC1)

Ulrika Jonsson: Who wrote Lord Of The Rings?

Contestant: Enid Blyton.



NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)

Eamonn Holmes: There are three states of matter: solid, liquid and . . ?

Contestant: Jelly.



FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.

Team: Chedpit.



SIMPLY THE BEST (ITV)

Phil Tufnell: How many Olympic Games have been held?

Contestant: Six.

Tufnell: Higher!

Contestant: Five.

NOTTS AND CROSSES QUIZ (BBC RADIO NOTTINGHAM)

Jeff Owen: In which country is Mount Everest?

Contestant (long pause): Er, it's not in Scotland, is it? ]



THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what 'j' is where two roads meet?

Contestant: Jool carriageway?



QUIZMANIA (ITV)

Greg Scott: We're looking for an occupation beginning with T.

Contestant: Doctor.

Scott: No, it's 'T'. 'T' for Tommy. 'T' for Tango.

Contestant: Oh, (pause) Doctor.



BIG QUIZ (LBC)

Gary King: Name the funny men who once entertained kings and queens at court.

Contestant: Lepers.



DANNY KELLY SHOW (RADIO WM)

Kelly: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?

Contestant: I need a clue.

Kelly: OK. What do beans come in?

Contestant: Cartons?



TALKSPORT

Andy Townsend: How many wheels does a tricycle have?

Caller: Two.

Townsend: The Beatles were known as the Fab...?

Caller: Five.



MAGIC 52 (NORTH-EAST ENGLAND)

Presenter: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?

Contestant: Erm...

Presenter: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.

Contestant: 1965?



WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? (ITV)

Chris Tarrant (asking the audience): 'Jambon' is the French for which food?

11 per cent of the audience: Jam.



DAVE LEE TRAVIS SHOW (BREEZE FM)

DLT: In which European country are there people called Walloons?

Contestant: Wales.



JANICE FORSYTH SHOW (BBC RADIO SCOTLAND)

Forsyth: What is India's currency?

Contestant: Ramadan.



OWEN MONEY SHOW (BBC RADIO WALES)

Money: In 30 seconds, name as many well-known politicians as you can.

Caller: Er. . . Tony Brown. . . and Nigel Benn. (Silence.)

[Redder Lurtz]

Quality. Just sent that all round the office, everyone's chuckling. Nice one.

[WaltonRed]

Thats one of the things that annoys me so much, getting GK wrong!

[Stu Monty]

Stop.....


Knoweldge is not general, it is specific.



....carry on.

[keysaint]

my favourite...YouTube - Funniest Phone in ever

[Thants]

Quite brilliant

[sh#t waffle]

FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV)

Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT.

Team: Chedpit.

Ha! Though don't try and tell me that Marsh knew the answer either.

[G Richards]

That was hilarious. Would it be too generous to say the various contestants were obviously put off due to the pressure of being on air?

[Mr.SB]

Originally Posted by Plewggs All true apparently.............. LINCS FM PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

I'm pretty sure the contestant heard 'country' as 'county' in this case. Funny nevertheless.

[AL66GOLF]

Some quotes from our "Footballer Friends" - a few years old but still funny

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - Ronnie Whelan

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at
Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was

out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - Ian Wright

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - Ugo Ehiogu

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' - Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - Stuart Pearce

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush

Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11
internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' - Mitchell Thomas

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.' - Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' - Johnny Giles

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' - Thierry Henry

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.' - David Beckham

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in
football.'- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - Richard Rufus

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - Gary Lineker

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - Vinny Jones

[Strontium Dog]

Originally Posted by sh#t waffle FORT BOYARD (CHALLENGE TV) Jodie Marsh: Arrange these two groups of letters to form a word - CHED and PIT. Team: Chedpit. Ha! Though don't try and tell me that Marsh knew the answer either.

Doesn't she have 10 GCSEs? I know that's no guarantee of superior intellect, but one would expect her to at least be able to spell "pitched"...

[TK421]

"Chedpit" is actually a word.

Urban Dictionary: Chedpit

[odris]

haha im in tears of all them, made my day :)

[Jorge Borge]

Originally Posted by Plewggs LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS) Alex Trelinski: What's the capital of Italy? Contestant: France. Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon? Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. Trelinski: Just guess a country then. Contestant: Paris.

All brilliant but my particular favourite.