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General Forum Draft Constitution
THIS IS A DRAFT COPY OF THE GENERAL FORUM CONSTITUTION—IT IS LARGELY BASED ON THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: PROPOSED AMENDMENTS MUST BE SUBMITTED BY FRIDAY DECEMBER 6TH—THE CONSITUTION WILL COME INTO EFFECT AT MIDNIGHT ON FRIDAY DECEMBER 6TH 2002. A REQUEST IS BEING SUBMITTED THAT THE CONSTITUTION BE A LINK ON THE MAIN WEBSITE AND ALSO THAT GENERAL FORUMITES MUST AGREE TO HE CONSTITUTION TO CONTINUE SERVING OUR GREAT BANANA REPUBLIC.
We, the people of the Liverpool Way, in order to form a more intellectual and attractive General Forum, establish fat birds and cartoon characters, insure regular posts, provide for our Leader’s social expenses, promote the general pond algae “I would” women, and secure the blessings of freedom of expression to ourselves (unless your name is Dogshite or SS), do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Liverpool Way General Forum.
Section 1
All legislative Proposals shall be vested in our Executive Leadership of Smithy and Dave U. Their edicts will be implemented through a Senate (Col, Steve H, Phil C and Gav) and House of Representatives (DT, John B, aws and remmie). Ultimately, the Executive Leadership has the casting vote, but all major changes (ie, getting smilies) must first be brought before the Senate and the House.
Executive decisions, such as banning, may be taken by Smithy or Dave U, without consultation. Emergency powers are hereby vested in Smithy to clean up this Forum if there is post-Derby bile or if Rashid or SS come on here.
Section 2
Clause 1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every tenth Year by the People of the Liverpool Way.
Clause 2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of seventeen Years, and been 6 months a Citizen of the General Forum.
Clause 3: When vacancies happen in the Representation, the Executive Authority of Smithy and Dave U thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
Clause 4: The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment. This decision will be made by the House, through e-mail, this week of the 2nd of December 2002, with the official result being announced at the Liverpool Way General Forum Annual General Meeting/Piss-Up, or TLWGFAGNPU for short.
Section 3
Clause 1: The Senate of the United States shall be composed of four Senators: two of whom live in Dublin, and the other two who live in Liverpool, although one is an OOTer), and each Senator shall have one vote.
Clause 2: No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years.
Clause 3: The Vice President of the General Forum (Smithy) shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote.
Clause 4: The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President (when he’s with a munter), or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States (when Usher’s with the same munter).
Clause 5: The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments (ie, such as the “Did DT inhale?” case of 1999). When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice (Bill) shall preside.
Clause 6: Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office (ie, demotion to Assistant Editor), and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States (ie, we get all the Leader’s money): but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment (24 hours hot stonk with Mandy Dingle), according to Law.
Section 4
Clause 1: The General Forum shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall be on the last Saturday before Xmas, unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Section 5
Clause 1: Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behaviour, and, with the Concurrence of two thirds, expel a Member.
Clause 2: Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish (erm, not much chance of any of our sick posts getting published) the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy (Dave’s “secrets”; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal (allowing us screw people we don’t like).
Clause 3: Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting(ie, tehre must be daily presence on the GF and going to RAOTL is banned).
Section 6
Clause 1: The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the Liverpool Way (this will be paid at the GF Piss-Up). They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place (we can basically do what we wish).
Clause 2: No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the Liverpool Way, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the Liverpool Way, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office. This clause attempts to stop Forumites escaping to Craptalk.
Section 7
Clause 1: All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.
Clause 2: Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the our Leader; If he approves he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it (if they haven’t anything better to do, which they obviously don’t).
Clause 3: Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the our Leader; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Section 8
Clause 1: The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence (banning people who don’t lower themselves to our standard) and general Welfare (keeping it smutty) of the GF.
Clause 2: To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalisation—we’re all Scousers.
Clause 3: To declare War on Football Forumites.
Clause 4: To raise and support Armies—to fight the good fight of fat birds.
Clause 5: To provide and maintain a Navy—to fight the god fight of beached whales.
Section 9
Clause 1: The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the other Forums now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year 2003, but a Tax or duty (paid to our Leader and distributed among Forumites) may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten quid for each Person.
Clause 2: No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince, or foreign Forum (unless DT or Col become King of Denmark or the Comonwealth).
Article II
Section 1
Clause 1: The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the General Forum. He shall hold his Office during the Term of two Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected.
Clause 2: No Person except a natural born sick puppy, or a Citizen of the GF, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of 27 Years, and been 6 months a Resident within the GF.
Clause 3: In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death (if the Evertonians catch him), Resignation (he gets sick of it on here), or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office (rendered useless by floating dogshit), the Same shall devolve on the Vice-President (Smithy), and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President (Daytripper), and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected (Steve H).
Clause 7: The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation (subscriptions), which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected (so they better not go up), and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the Forumites (except for back issues).
Clause 8: Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the Liverpool way General Forum, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the General Forum."
Section 2
Clause 1: The President shall be Commander in Chief of the GF Army, and of the Militia of the GF; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the GF, except in Cases of Impeachment and talking about football.
Clause 2: He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties with other like-minded Forums, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors (to Denmark, Ireland, Everton), other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court (Remmie and Smithy), and all other Officers of the GF, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
Section 3
He shall, once a week, give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them (ie, Smithy and Col), with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; and he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed.
Section 4
The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors (such as slagging off Mandy Dingle).
Article III
Section 1
Clause 1: The Citizens of the GF shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens on other Liverpool Way Forums.
Clause 2: A Person charged in the GF with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in the FF, shall on Demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime and never allowed return to the GF, if found guilty.
Article IV
The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of the GF.
Article V
Free speech is largely protected under the Constitution. This allows General Forumites to discuss everything except Mandy Dingle unless it’s a good comment on her and football.
[Signed also by the General Forumites.]
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