Xpert 11 league started. Anyone interested?

[Stu Monty]

My team rule and so does their manager. Bit miffed that no matter how well I play the average form seems almost impossible to keep high.

[The Chief]

Originally Posted by Stu Monty My team rule and so does their manager. Bit miffed that no matter how well I play the average form seems almost impossible to keep high.

yes but stu, just what is a "part time male podel"? are you going the way of other "great" managers before you, ie, fergie, howie k and hitting the bottle just a leetle bit more than you used to? are your nose and cheeks getting just that leetle bit redder? just remember pressure and/or stress is just a state of mind.

[madstock]

Originally Posted by jcpcco yes but stu, just what is a "part time male podel"?

It is a derivation from the Old English "Podelfong" , which was an elaborate barrel-with-a-hole-in-it used by frustrated monks to ease their sexual frustration.

The Venerable Bede wrote about it in the following passage:

... and so this monk had been at the monastery for a few months, and thus his testicles had swollen like medicine balls, due to the weight of seed.
He went forth to the father and said - "Father, what is one to do about the spilage of seed" - To which the father replied
"Go into that back room son, and have a go with the podelfong".
The young holy man had his way with the podelfong, and declared it to be verily the best sexual experience of his life.
For a few weeks after this time he returned to the podelfong room every night, until on one enchanted evening he met the father, and thus they spake: "My son - what are you doing??" - to which the young man replied "I have came to shag the podelfong" - the wise elder pissed himself laughing and responded - "But it is your turn inside the barrel tonight, matey".
And it was good....

So in short a "part time male podel" is a sort of limp-wristed homo that obviously moisturises too often...

[Stu Monty]

*Looks at the table*

*Pain eases away*

[The Chief]

Originally Posted by madstock It is a derivation from the Old English "Podelfong" , which was an elaborate barrel-with-a-hole-in-it used by frustrated monks to ease their sexual frustration. The Venerable Bede wrote about it in the following passage: ... and so this monk had been at the monastery for a few months, and thus his testicles had swollen like medicine balls, due to the weight of seed. He went forth to the father and said - "Father, what is one to do about the spilage of seed" - To which the father replied "Go into that back room son, and have a go with the podelfong". The young holy man had his way with the podelfong, and declared it to be verily the best sexual experience of his life. For a few weeks after this time he returned to the podelfong room every night, until on one enchanted evening he met the father, and thus they spake: "My son - what are you doing??" - to which the young man replied "I have came to shag the podelfong" - the wise elder pissed himself laughing and responded - "But it is your turn inside the barrel tonight, matey". And it was good.... So in short a "part time male podel" is a sort of limp-wristed homo that obviously moisturises too often...

oh yes now THAT is by far the best post this year. very, VERY good bounceability. very well done mad.

[RedinSweden]

Originally Posted by madstock It is a derivation from the Old English "Podelfong" , which was an elaborate barrel-with-a-hole-in-it used by frustrated monks to ease their sexual frustration. The Venerable Bede wrote about it in the following passage: ... and so this monk had been at the monastery for a few months, and thus his testicles had swollen like medicine balls, due to the weight of seed. He went forth to the father and said - "Father, what is one to do about the spilage of seed" - To which the father replied "Go into that back room son, and have a go with the podelfong". The young holy man had his way with the podelfong, and declared it to be verily the best sexual experience of his life. For a few weeks after this time he returned to the podelfong room every night, until on one enchanted evening he met the father, and thus they spake: "My son - what are you doing??" - to which the young man replied "I have came to shag the podelfong" - the wise elder pissed himself laughing and responded - "But it is your turn inside the barrel tonight, matey". And it was good.... So in short a "part time male podel" is a sort of limp-wristed homo that obviously moisturises too often...

Ace!. Call my bluff!


that was a BLUFF.

A "male podel" was a man employed by rich Elizabethan families to satisfy the ladies of the house. Like wise there were female versions, female podels brought in for the men of the house. At the start of the 17th century, the business of podelling was widespread and this saw the dawn of "superpodels", men and women with extraordinary staying power, an ability to satisfy 20 to 30 people in one sitting. Podelling agencies were set up by entrepeneurs eager to make money out of the craze.

Unfortunately, podelling came to an abrubt halt in September 1666 when the first ever international gathering of Podels from around the world was caught in the great fire of london and all perished.

A "male podel" was an elizabethan gigolo.

[madstock]

Originally Posted by RedinSweden Ace!. Call my bluff! that was a BLUFF. A "male podel" was a man employed by rich Elizabethan families to satisfy the ladies of the house. Like wise there were female versions, female podels brought in for the men of the house. At the start of the 17th century, the business of podelling was widespread and this saw the dawn of "superpodels", men and women with extraordinary staying power, an ability to satisfy 20 to 30 people in one sitting. Podelling agencies were set up by entrepeneurs eager to make money out of the craze. Unfortunately, podelling came to an abrubt halt in September 1666 when the first ever international gathering of Podels from around the world was caught in the great fire of london and all perished. A "male podel" was an elizabethan gigolo.

Actually, that too is a BLUFF - although both posts are correct with regards to the fact that a Podel is indeed a sexual term from days gone by.

Disgusted by the barrel incident (which was actually not a podelfong , but a barrel ), the same young monk joined another monastery, and once again fell victim to EBS ("Engorged Bollocks Syndrome").

He explained to the boss man that he had to either shoot his load or explode, and the father directed him to another room, saying - "In that room is our donkey, Podel. Go to Podel and your needs will be met".

Half an hour later the monk returned from Podels' room, much to the astonishment of the head honcho, who nonetheless asked him if he was feeling better.

The young monk turned crimson and gave a blustered reply about being nervous at first, but really getting down to the job after he had found a stool on which to stand - to which the head monk replied (all together now...)

"Fucking Idiot - you were supposed to ride Podel to the whorehouse in town..."

So there you have it, a Podel is in fact a donkey that takes it from behind...

[real red]

Excellent stuff there. I think you're all bluffing, but still good. You'll find Podel in the welsh dictionary. Probably.

[Thants]

okay . . .
so what happens next??

[RedinSweden]

Originally Posted by LFCfanbymistake okay . . . so what happens next??

well, you are not in a division yet as the current season is ongoing. you can look in the members list in the League info section, find someone else who isn't, Paul, Count Morfeo etc and click on the team name and then challenge them to a friendly. Best of all is to read the rulebook as that tells you how to play and is not too longwinded. pm me if you have any specific questions

[rondeco]

Will I get to keep my current squad for nex season or do we all start from scratch again? You can take half of them if you want!!

[RedinSweden]

Originally Posted by rondeco Will I get to keep my current squad for nex season or do we all start from scratch again? You can take half of them if you want!!

nah, same squad I'm afraid. they all age one year and those with an average form of 10 or more will improve their skill level.

[madstock]

Originally Posted by RedinSweden nah, same squad I'm afraid. they all age one year and those with an average form of 10 or more will improve their skill level.

Do we get to keep the millions that have been hoarded away throughout this season in the hope of getting a 10-bar goalscoring midfielder, or should I spend it like Rafa in a goalie shop??

[RedinSweden]

Originally Posted by madstock Do we get to keep the millions that have been hoarded away throughout this season in the hope of getting a 10-bar goalscoring midfielder, or should I spend it like Rafa in a goalie shop??

It is never bad to dsave a bit for next season. Depends on your league position I suppose, if you want to make a push at the end or will save resources for a full blown title tilt.