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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 01:27 PM
Elmyn Noos's Avatar
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Because you're worth shit
Picture this. I'm sat watching the telly the other night in the privacy of my own living room. It was a Friday night, I'd had a skinful, not shaved that day and was just sat in my boxers, scratching my arse looking like shit with a bottle of Becks for company. Beautiful.

What could possibly come on the telly to completely kill my chilling out? I'll tell you what. An advertisement for a new cream from L'Oreal that promises to reduce the appearance of wrinkles FOR MEN.

De fucking wrinkle cream for blokes!! The fucking wankers. Like the feminisation of men hasn't gone far enough already without these paedophiles pushing this shit on the telly.

My feelings on grooming are well documented here. I'm no fan. A bloke's locker should contain no more than a block of soap, a razor, some shaving cream, some deo, a tooth brush and some tooth-paste. Full fucking stop. You moisturise, then you're a fucking queer. You "balm", you bum. Fact. But even those of you who think taking care of your skin is now acceptable hetero male behaviour have got to draw the line at de-wrinkly cream, surely?? Please fucking tell me that blokes haven't turned so fucking queer in just one generation that any of you have this in your bathroom?
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Old 10th February 2006, 01:43 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by Elmyn Noos
Picture this. I'm sat watching the telly the other night in the privacy of my own living room. It was a Friday night, I'd had a skinful, not shaved that day and was just sat in my boxers, scratching my arse looking like shit with a bottle of Becks for company. Beautiful.

What could possibly come on the telly to completely kill my chilling out? I'll tell you what. An advertisement for a new cream from L'Oreal that promises to reduce the appearance of wrinkles FOR MEN.

De fucking wrinkle cream for blokes!! The fucking wankers. Like the feminisation of men hasn't gone far enough already without these paedophiles pushing this shit on the telly.

My feelings on grooming are well documented here. I'm no fan. A bloke's locker should contain no more than a block of soap, a razor, some shaving cream, some deo, a tooth brush and some tooth-paste. Full fucking stop. You moisturise, then you're a fucking queer. You "balm", you bum. Fact. But even those of you who think taking care of your skin is now acceptable hetero male behaviour have got to draw the line at de-wrinkly cream, surely?? Please fucking tell me that blokes haven't turned so fucking queer in just one generation that any of you have this in your bathroom?
I have to moisturise because I have excema and if I don't I scare the small children, but that's it. Blokes wet shave, bumboys use electric ones. That is not just an opinion, it is both FACT and LAW.
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 01:45 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
My part of the bathroom cupboard does not yet include anti-wrinkle cream. I say not yet, because that cupboard does contain such delights as male moisturising something or other. About three identical unopened bottles of the stuff. You see Christmas comes along every year (usually) and brings with it the toiletry gift pack. So you open a present and wow - it's a bottle of FCKU shower gel, a tin of FCKU pit-spray, and what's this? FCKU moisturising balm for that all day feeling of something or other. If it isn't moisturiser it's "body gel". What? I've just got out of the shower, I'm feeling clean, put a bit of pit spray on to make sure those fried onions won't be haunting me later in the day and now I have to rub some gel on myself. Why?

I keep these things because as one of life's hoarders I hate throwing things away. And if Noos ever gets into a position of power they may one day be banned and so worth money on ebay.

I expect face-smoothing lotion will be one of the items in next year's Christmas variety packs.
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Old 10th February 2006, 01:46 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by RedinSweden
I have to moisturise because I have excema and if I don't I scare the small children, but that's it. Blokes wet shave, bumboys use electric ones. That is not just an opinion, it is both FACT and LAW.
Bollocks to that. I dry shave. Grrrrr. Man's man.
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Old 10th February 2006, 01:46 PM
real red's Avatar
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by RedinSweden
I have to moisturise because I have excema and if I don't I scare the small children, but that's it. Blokes wet shave, bumboys use electric ones. That is not just an opinion, it is both FACT and LAW.
Medical-strength moisturiser is acceptable. Has to come in non-fancy packaging and smell of hospitals though.
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Old 10th February 2006, 01:52 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by real red
Medical-strength moisturiser is acceptable. Has to come in non-fancy packaging and smell of hospitals though.
It is in a huge plastic tub with a pump and it smells of hospitals. It is cracking stuff though. The difference between when I use it and when I forget is incredible. Have you ever seen The Singing Detective?
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 01:54 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by RedinSweden
It is in a huge plastic tub with a pump and it smells of hospitals. It is cracking stuff though. The difference between when I use it and when I forget is incredible. Have you ever seen The Singing Detective?
So there's more to your "RedinSweden" username than we thought!
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  #8 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 03:28 PM
Elmyn Noos's Avatar
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Agreed that under doctors orders is acceptable and does not necessarily make you a bummer, you'll be pleased to hear.

Come on you groomers out there. You know who you are. You got into this de-wrinkling cream yet, you faggots?
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  #9 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 03:32 PM
real red's Avatar
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by Elmyn Noos
Agreed that under doctors orders is acceptable and does not necessarily make you a bummer, you'll be pleased to hear.

Come on you groomers out there. You know who you are. You got into this de-wrinkling cream yet, you faggots?
I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that "de-wrinkling cream" is code for "faggot lubrication".
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 03:32 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
I feel sorry for the next generation of women, because at this rate they're going to have difficulty distinguishing who is straight and who isn't!
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Old 10th February 2006, 03:33 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit


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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10th February 2006, 03:34 PM
mattyq √ mattyq is offline
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Re: Because you're worth shit
I think it's a fact that the younger generation are quickly turning gay. THink this first started off with the whole gel thing where otherwise sensible men would start droning on about the various hair products they use to make their hair 'look better'.
A young bloke (approx 21) has just started work in the same office as me and you should see what sort of shit he uses everday. More than a girl. DOn't these people have any self respect?
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Old 10th February 2006, 03:37 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
I went to the alehouse the other week and I couldn't believe it. Every lad under 25 had orange skin smoother than a babies' backside, skinny androgynous frames, pink t-shirts with short 'girl-sleeves', glittery jeans - well they looked like girl's jeans anyway and stupid spikey mullets with highlights.

What is the world coming to? I blame boy-bands meself!
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Old 10th February 2006, 03:38 PM
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Talking Re: Because you're worth shit
Erm just to carry on scathing remarks from other threads - please accept Karl B as a clear example of a man using anti wrinkle cream... all men incaple of spelling 'the' correctly are obviously fudge packing, anti wrinke cream using homos!!!

Cheers
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Old 10th February 2006, 03:39 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
There's a young bloke in our office (22) who reckons he's hard as nails. He told me recently that he spends 20 minutes doing his hair every morning, and gets it cut every two weeks at a cost of £30 a cut. He also spends about £20 a month on hair products.

Fuck



King



Queer
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Old 10th February 2006, 03:40 PM
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Re: Because you're worth shit
Originally Posted by AVEEZ
incaple

Cheers
What does that mean?
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