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Martin Skrtel facts.
Apple pays Skrtel 99p every time he listens to a song.
Can sneeze with his eyes open.
Can kill two stones with one bird.
Once destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Does not sleep. He waits.
Can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Einsteins original theory of relativety was: if Martin Skrtel kicks you your relatives will feel it.
is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
can divide by zero.
once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Martin Skrtel does not run. He jumps on the spot and the earth moves into position
If two Martin Skrtels tackled each other at the same time, time would collapse and the Earth would cease to exist.
was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost
doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage
is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
Before he goes to sleep, the bogeyman checks the cupboards for Martin Skrtel.
Martin Skrtel is the one remaining Highlander
They once made a Martin Skrtel toilet paper, but there was a problem - it wouldn't take shit from anyone.
Martin Skrtel puts the laughter in manslaughter.
let the dogs out
make onions CRY!!!
Martin Skrtel doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Martin Skrtel is Martin Skrtel.
As soon as he was born he grabbed the midwife, the doctors and nurses by their ankles and slapped their arses then went on a 22 pint drinking spree.
Invented Cessarian Section by roundhousing himself out of his mother
Martin Skrtel sees dead people, then kills them again.
Martin Skrtel made BA get on a plane without the use of drugs
When Martin Skrtel types LOL you can actually hear him laugh out loud.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Martin Skrtel.
When Martin Skrtel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Martin Skrtel.
If you can see Skrtel he can see you, if you can't see Skrtel you may only be seconds away from death.
Martin Skrtel draws all his strength from Kryptonite, it does not weaken him.
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Warrior Poet
"Na na na naaa, na na na naaa, hey hey now, Good bye Kyle."
Last edited by Kopite; 8th April 2008 at 07:50 AM.
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