do you want us to sign David Bentley?

[Stu Monty]

From the award-winning Don't Believe The Hype feature from the fanzine.


Robert Pires

Now before I get into this, I think he’s a very decent player. I’d take him over 15 Cheyrou’s. The main point that I feel nobody makes clear enough when looking at his performances’ is the fact that left-midfield for Arsenal is possibly the easiest position in the world to play right now. The main reason that this is the case is Thierry Henry. He quite likes the left wing. Oh, and so does Ashley Cole. So if you are playing right full-back it’s going to be a right laugh dealing with that little lot isn’t it? Henry will drop deep and must start about 50% of his electric runs from over on the left wing. With a danger like that knocking around you could be excused for leaving the man with the silly beard unmarked for a while. The reason why Pires makes it look so easy is because any defence has generally been run ragged by Henry and he is just waltzing through any of the many gaps that he can find. Even if you do manage to mark Henry you then have to deal with Ashley Cole’s complete disregard for being a defender as he is legging it past you down the left wing. This again creates far more challenges down that side of the pitch and allows Pires even more freedom He also runs in an odd waddling-duck style, which may not necessarily be relevant when putting together a critique of his effectiveness as a footballer but will be submitted for the prosecution all the same. As will the aforementioned stupid little beard.

I would also have to say in his defence that Pires also has a syndrome which severely affects his balance, which in turn must surely make him a lesser footballer, although this terrible disease only seems to affect him in areas in which dangerous free-kicks or penalties may be conceded, which is handy. As I say, He is good. Very good. Just not quite as great as most people will have you believe, throw him into our midfield and he’d look a bit more Cheyrou and a little less Cruyff.

[rebel23]

he would be an improvement on Kuyt/Pennant but I wouldn't buy him because i would look at the history of transfers in the last 15 years and i'd point out that players we buy from lower Premiership clubs tend not to be good enough therefore i'd only buy from abroad, that's just the way it is

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by Stu Monty

From the award-winning Don't Believe The Hype feature from the fanzine.


Robert Pires

Now before I get into this, I think he’s a very decent player. I’d take him over 15 Cheyrou’s. The main point that I feel nobody makes clear enough when looking at his performances’ is the fact that left-midfield for Arsenal is possibly the easiest position in the world to play right now. The main reason that this is the case is Thierry Henry. He quite likes the left wing. Oh, and so does Ashley Cole. So if you are playing right full-back it’s going to be a right laugh dealing with that little lot isn’t it? Henry will drop deep and must start about 50% of his electric runs from over on the left wing. With a danger like that knocking around you could be excused for leaving the man with the silly beard unmarked for a while. The reason why Pires makes it look so easy is because any defence has generally been run ragged by Henry and he is just waltzing through any of the many gaps that he can find. Even if you do manage to mark Henry you then have to deal with Ashley Cole’s complete disregard for being a defender as he is legging it past you down the left wing. This again creates far more challenges down that side of the pitch and allows Pires even more freedom He also runs in an odd waddling-duck style, which may not necessarily be relevant when putting together a critique of his effectiveness as a footballer but will be submitted for the prosecution all the same. As will the aforementioned stupid little beard.

I would also have to say in his defence that Pires also has a syndrome which severely affects his balance, which in turn must surely make him a lesser footballer, although this terrible disease only seems to affect him in areas in which dangerous free-kicks or penalties may be conceded, which is handy. As I say, He is good. Very good. Just not quite as great as most people will have you believe, throw him into our midfield and he’d look a bit more Cheyrou and a little less Cruyff.

Translation: Playing with very good players makes very good players play even better.

Is that the case? I suppose it is here. Playing in great teams is easier than playing in shit teams. Just look at Ray Houghton.

But then how to explain the other age old cliche: "looking good in a shit team is easy"

Hmm. A debate! Look everyone, a new debate!

[TheHitman]

I wouldn't close my mind to all players plying their trade in the UK as we have found there are many dodgy ones playing in France and the occasional duds in Dutch and Spanish football.

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by rebel23

he would be an improvement on Kuyt/Pennant but I wouldn't buy him because i would look at the history of transfers in the last 15 years and i'd point out that players we buy from lower Premiership clubs tend not to be good enough therefore i'd only buy from abroad, that's just the way it is

Yeah, but on the other hand, you *are* fucking mental.

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by TheHitman

I wouldn't close my mind to all players plying their trade in the UK as we have found there many dodgy ones playing in France and the occasional duds in Dutch and Spanish football.

Hang on, so what you're saying is that there are good *and* rubbish footballers playing all over the world?

[TheHitman]

Special badge for you Sir

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by TheHitman

Special badge for you Sir

I hope you know how much research rebel23 has put into this very topic?

[wiiksie]

Originally Posted by silverlining

Hang on, so what you're saying is that there are good *and* rubbish footballers playing all over the world?

That sort of crazy out-there thinking doesn't fit with 'the policy'.

[hamstrung]

Originally Posted by Stu Monty

He also had, by quite some distance, the stupidest facial hair ever to grace football in this country. The diving cunt.

[spider-neil]

Originally Posted by Stu Monty

From the award-winning Don't Believe The Hype feature from the fanzine.


Robert Pires

Now before I get into this, I think he’s a very decent player. I’d take him over 15 Cheyrou’s. The main point that I feel nobody makes clear enough when looking at his performances’ is the fact that left-midfield for Arsenal is possibly the easiest position in the world to play right now. The main reason that this is the case is Thierry Henry. He quite likes the left wing. Oh, and so does Ashley Cole. So if you are playing right full-back it’s going to be a right laugh dealing with that little lot isn’t it? Henry will drop deep and must start about 50% of his electric runs from over on the left wing. With a danger like that knocking around you could be excused for leaving the man with the silly beard unmarked for a while. The reason why Pires makes it look so easy is because any defence has generally been run ragged by Henry and he is just waltzing through any of the many gaps that he can find. Even if you do manage to mark Henry you then have to deal with Ashley Cole’s complete disregard for being a defender as he is legging it past you down the left wing. This again creates far more challenges down that side of the pitch and allows Pires even more freedom He also runs in an odd waddling-duck style, which may not necessarily be relevant when putting together a critique of his effectiveness as a footballer but will be submitted for the prosecution all the same. As will the aforementioned stupid little beard.

I would also have to say in his defence that Pires also has a syndrome which severely affects his balance, which in turn must surely make him a lesser footballer, although this terrible disease only seems to affect him in areas in which dangerous free-kicks or penalties may be conceded, which is handy. As I say, He is good. Very good. Just not quite as great as most people will have you believe, throw him into our midfield and he’d look a bit more Cheyrou and a little less Cruyff.

which brings us back to having attacking fullbacks dragging defenders away from the wide midfielder who can in turn come infield and fill his boots in the penalty box.

[Unrighteous]

Bentley would be an improvement on Pennant but he's not good enough for us and wouldn't start at Arsenal, Chelsea, ManUre and should not be our first choice.

[spider-neil]

Originally Posted by Unrighteous

Bentley would be an improvement on Pennant but he's not good enough for us and wouldn't start at Arsenal, Chelsea, ManUre and should not be our first choice.

he'd definately get into the arsenal team, fab aside their midfielders are struggling for goals and assists.

[rebel23]

Originally Posted by silverlining

Yeah, but on the other hand, you *are* fucking mental.

you may think that but when it comes to transfers it would pay if we followed some basic guidelines as a club.

you on the other hand would no doubt take every hyped British media flavour of the month for £6-8m grinning insidiously as you believe you've snared a bargain, only to find out later that you haven't

just like our highly paid scouts and manager have done.

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by spider-neil

which brings us back to having attacking fullbacks dragging defenders away from the wide midfielder who can in turn come infield and fill his boots in the penalty box.

I'd be very interested to know if there was any question that you couldn't satisfactorily answer with "attacking fullbacks"

q: How does one effectively accommodate the tribal nature of Iraq politics within the fundamental tenets of democracy?

a: with attacking full-backs.

Fuck me, it works!

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by rebel23

you on the other hand would no doubt take every hyped British media flavour of the month for £6-8m grinning insidiously as you believe you've snared a bargain, only to find out later that you haven't

Yes, no doubt I would.

*mouths "YOU'RE MENTAL" and backs away*

[Unrighteous]

Originally Posted by spider-neil

he'd definately get into the arsenal team, fab aside their midfielders are struggling for goals and assists.

I'm sorry but Arsenal's squad isn't hurting for goals which means the ball is getting through to them and I'd have to think it's more than just Fabregas.

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by Unrighteous

I'm sorry but Arsenal's squad isn't hurting for goals which means the ball is getting through to them and I'd have to think it's more than just Fabregas.

He has got a point, though. The Arsenal midfield have even less goal threat than Liverpool's it seems.

Eboue, Flamini, Rosicky and Hleb score hardly any. No surprise with Hleb - he never has - but I'm surprised Rosicky hasn't scored more.

Or does he - like every other cunt struggling for a goal - simply save them up for us?

Either way, unless RVP starts banging them in, I can't see them winning the title with only Adebayor as a real goal threat.