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6th May 2005, 10:23 AM
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Forumite
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Chelsea Match Report
I printed off the match report and was trying to read it discreetly in the office by hiding it in some papers. However, when I got to the Star Wars bit, it was just so hilarious. I tried to stop giggling but then almost snorted when I got to the bit about Harry Kewell as Princess Leia! Every time I think about it, I can’t stop laughing.
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6th May 2005, 11:40 AM
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TLW Consigliere
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Best report you've ever done Dave - you rose manfully to the occasion.
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6th May 2005, 11:49 AM
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Big gamesh
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
I remember when I first started reading this forum, some posters were always complementing Dave U on his match reports: "spot on Dave", "great stuff" etc. Naturally the ermmm... easily provoked regulars on here started slagging them off as brown-noses which I thought was quite funny, think it was Tom R who had a reply which simply said "I want you Dave" after a match report!
anyhoo, I very much agree, the best report I've read from you so far, though the circumstances around the game contributed of course!
P.S. Thought "Lampa the Hutt" was the high point btw! 
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6th May 2005, 11:58 AM
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Trust in Dr. Benitez
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
At bit off, but Dave's match report's is the reason I'm even on this forum. I read them for about a year before I registered on here. They are quality they are (brown-nosing I know)
I actually managed to register right before we had a chip in on the cost of it
BTW when do you need more Dave? We're all pretty light spirited these days so you could probably raise some for a trip to Istanbul too 
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6th May 2005, 12:02 PM
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Forumite
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
The Star Wars-analogy was shit. Why aren't the Chelsea players compared to the clones originating from the bounty hunter Jango Fett?
Only kidding. The analogy ruled. I'm a member of the brownnose clique.
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6th May 2005, 12:09 PM
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TLW Beer Monster
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Chief brown nose here
Dave - that Fuckin Rocks mate .BEST report yet ,enjoyed it immensly
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Robbie Keane's a redman
He plays for us up front
We nearly signed Gaz Barry
Thank God cos he's a cunt
We hope he stays a redman
As long as he's alive
And when he reaches 40 he'll be tarmacking your drive
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6th May 2005, 12:13 PM
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Forumite
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Join Date: May 2004
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
just dropped your report on a few chelski coleagues desks....magic 
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6th May 2005, 03:32 PM
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May change to Robbie
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Dave, hope you don't mind as I put that part about Star Wars on the Website for LFC fans here in Thailand. I did mentioned I got it from here.
BTW, if as you said, Gerrard is the son of Mourinho!
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No, but April May.
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6th May 2005, 04:13 PM
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Salas!!!
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Originally Posted by Ronnie
BTW, if as you said, Gerrard is the son of Mourinho!
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How long before the likes of Harry Harris is printing that for real as the latest reason why Gerrard will be joining Chelsea?
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6th May 2005, 04:24 PM
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Touch My Bum This Is Life
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
The Princess leah bit with Harry was a stroke of genius.
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6th May 2005, 08:13 PM
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Tonton Zola Moukoko
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
The last line of the star wars analagy rocked, although the whole report was amazing. Jesus H christ even over on YAWN they were eulogising about it.
I started looking at this website about 4 years ago and it was the match reports that I mostly read then too. This place fucking rules now though.
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6th May 2005, 08:25 PM
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Ya Basta!
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
I got the fanzine once and then came on here after that.
There is a reason this place rules Ian, it is because the standard deviation of the populace from "Complete Legend" is very small.
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Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds
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6th May 2005, 08:38 PM
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On the road to Rome
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Full marks for the match report from me as well, Dave.
Btw, they were the reason I ended up on this forum. I used to lurk on here for ages before I got around to registering myself and joining in.
EDIT: Harry as Leia was really something 
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6th May 2005, 08:52 PM
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Forumite
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
came on as a result of the gary mac game against the blueshite.
I was so angry and felt the need to tell someone how much i hated them after that game. Found the liverpool way sent Mr Usher an email about Unsworth being a cunt. And then stayed.
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7th May 2005, 07:50 AM
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Come on Rafa, lad!
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
I got here via teletext and the fanzine and haven't looked back since. Very good report Mr. U; I particularly liked the Carra as Han Solo concept - the coolest, hardest Red as the coolest, hardest Star Wars character.
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7th May 2005, 11:36 AM
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Forumite
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
And just like the special editions they've taken something ace then decided to add rubbish bits that never happened using a computer.
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7th May 2005, 02:23 PM
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Forumite
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
That analogy is fantastic.
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7th May 2005, 02:51 PM
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Respete Tu Vecinos
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Dave that was fucking brilliant, you should be writing for a national newspaper, i havent laughed so much in ages. At the very least you should have CB sacked and take his job.
Loved the Harry Kewell bit
i totally disagree with you about the stadium and i agree with your comments re Owen but it was a fantastic read. seriously your far too good for us lot.
cant wait for the next edition.
brilliant
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7th May 2005, 02:54 PM
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Forumite
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Re: Chelsea Match Report
Where can I find this piece of art??
I've tried to look for it, but maybe I need to pay a visit to the optician..
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7th May 2005, 02:55 PM
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