Birmingham City FC - Cunts!

[Scouse Missionary]

Let me start by saying that I do not use the word 'cunt' lightly. It's a pretty offensive term, but let's face it, no other word will do when it comes to Birmingham City Football Club and its fans.

There are other teams in the league I despise, but I came to a sudden realisation yesterday that the one club in the Premiership I despise more than any other are Birmingham. Yes, the Mancs are up there, but I do have a grudging respect for their achivements. Leeds are just sad bastards. And over at Everton, Bankrupt Bill provides us with endless entertainment.

But Birmingham have no redeeming features whatsoever. There is nothing to respect, and they have no entertainment value. They are simply whining, cheating, self-important cunts - from the Chairman right through to the fans.

THE CHAIRMAN.
David Gold has been whining about 'the real winners' ever since the final penalty was taken in the League Cup final. He is just a 24 crt cunt, who thinks his club are bigger than they actually are. VERDICT : Total Cunt.

THE MANAGER.
Steve Bruce is a serial quitter, who has used each successive club he's managed to tread water, waiting for the Old Trafford job to come free - as if he'd be in with a chance. He continues in the tradition of Trevor 'The Winners Lost' Francis, who was a serial whiner about penalty shoot outs. I haven't seen Bruce interviewed, but understand he was suggesting it was a Kop-given penalty. What? Apart from the fact it was in front of HIS fans at the Anfield Rd end?!!

The one thing we have to thank him for is yesterday's tactics. His cheating stratedgy turned a quiet stadium into a cauldron, and a disjointed Liverpool performance into an effective attacking force. Great decision arsehole. VERDICT : Fucking Cunt.

THE TEAM.
I challenge you to name one Birmingham player you like? One you have grudging respect for? There isn't one is there?

Yesterday, come the second half, the referee gave us fuck all. Indeed, at one point Pongo got a minute-and-a-half lecture on why the Birmingham defence were entitled to place him in a stranglehold, and why he shouldn't complain. You might think Bruce had had a word at half-time, but you cannot ignore the fact that the referee had probably had enough of being surrounded by screaming, snarling yard-dogs every time he gave a decision our way.

We've all seen the advert break bookend's for Coke, on the Premiership. I'd always thought that the one where the player takes a slow-motion swimming dive, and winks at the camera, was an exaggerated characterture. Until yesterday, when Stan Lazaridis took the art of diving to new heights, executing a perfect 10 each time. Then there is the one man striking masterclass that is Clinton Morrison, who now seems to have been found out in the Premiership, and relegated to the bench in favour of a clapped-out Frenchman. And finally there is war-dog Robbie Savage, who may as well have tied himself to the referee he spent so much time shouting in his face. VERDICT : Horrible Dirty, Diving, Cheating Cunts.

THE FANS.
Thank fuck we didn't have to suffer another 60 minute long rendition of "Zulu Zulu." These must be the most stupid fuckers on the planet. I could only make out three songs yeaterday, from their incomprehensible gibberish.

Firstly, we had "Sign On." Another original ,eh boys? Here's a tip, take a look around you when you get home. You live in Birmingham, the arse-end of the Universe.

Secondly, there was the Robbie Savage chant. Are they fucking stupid? Rhetorical that one. At the start of the season he was all set to walk out on them, had The Pauper's Club been able to scrape enough copper together to meet the asking price. And yet they still treat him as their number one hero?

Finally, two minutes from the end we had "Your Support Is Fucking Shit." This was directed at a few people leaving in the Main Stand. This also ignored the fact that there was a steady stream of Birmingham fans leaving, after the third goal hit the back of the net!! Irony isn't a word they can spell, let alone understand the meaning of. VERDICT : Horrible Dirty Unwashed Cunts.

That's made me feel a lot better!!

[Steve]

You missed out Karen Brady here, who's ability to look for a financial killing puts Parry to shame. When we played them in the FA Cup in 1994-5, the programme price was upped to £2. The reason? An 8 page pull out in the middle celebrating their move to the top of Division 2!!!

I read a Villa fanzine last season, which lamented their promotion, saying it was an embarasment to know there small time fans would be given so much exposure. They were the first fans to invade the pitch at the Millennium Stadium f.f.s.

There most popular song is 'Shit on the Villa', says it all about them

[Mav]

SM, well - and if I may say so eloquently - said

[Kopite]

SM that is brilliant, in fact I am going to link it from RAOTL and YNWA.

I agree with most of what you say. Cant really add anything. But, at least their supporters are united. They can make a lot of noise, the atmosphere at st andrews against us last season was great and their away support is normally good. They do sing shitty small time chants, but who are we to criticise other supporters? They hit the nail on the head yesterday with "Your support is fucking shit" they were right, it is.

And Karen Brady, well, I'd give her an hour or so

Agree.... i really cant stand those sad muppets at all... Same goes for Middlesbrough. A team i have grown to hate over the last few years!

Imagine a season where Everton,Middlesbrough and Birmingham got relegated.... That would have made up for a lot of things...