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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 14th February 2008, 02:57 PM
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Beyond Fucking Belief...
Continuing the saga of my accursed house, it's nearly finished. I ordered carpets for the stairs and landing earlier in the week and 2 inbred leg-draggers turned up earlier to fit it. One of them said "Eh Love, this piece for the landing isn't going to fit. You've measured it wrong". So I said "No I haven't, I measured it 3 x 1 metres. How big is the piece they've sent?"

He replied "3 ft by 1ft". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
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Old 14th February 2008, 02:59 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Fuck me, that's a serious metric fuck up!
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Old 14th February 2008, 02:59 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by She Knows It View Post
Continuing the saga of my accursed house, it's nearly finished. I ordered carpets for the stairs and landing earlier in the week and 2 inbred leg-draggers turned up earlier to fit it. One of them said "Eh Love, this piece for the landing isn't going to fit. You've measured it wrong". So I said "No I haven't, I measured it 3 x 1 metres. How big is the piece they've sent?"

He replied "3 ft by 1ft". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Have you added Carpet fitters to your killing spree yet?
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:00 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by She Knows It View Post
Continuing the saga of my accursed house, it's nearly finished. I ordered carpets for the stairs and landing earlier in the week and 2 inbred leg-draggers turned up earlier to fit it. One of them said "Eh Love, this piece for the landing isn't going to fit. You've measured it wrong". So I said "No I haven't, I measured it 3 x 1 metres. How big is the piece they've sent?"

He replied "3 ft by 1ft". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
To be fair, it couldn't look much worse than the last carpet you had down there - perhaps the plasterer can add another couple of feet to the walls to ensure that the carpet fits properly?
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:03 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by kopitegaz View Post
Have you added Carpet fitters to your killing spree yet?
The bathroom fitter had to hold me off him. I was fuming. I said "Who the hell would have a 3ft by 1 ft landing? The fucking Borrowers?". He still tried to tell me I'd measured it wrong, and implied it was because I was a) thick & b) female. I rang the carpet shop and complained, and he said he'd try to get the fitters out later with a bigger piece, but I know they won't bother their arses since I had a go at them. Nobheads.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:06 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
"Local woman goes on killing spree over miniscule landing-strip of carpet"

That would make the Globe, surely?
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:09 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Thats what you get for using Gypos Liz love.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:10 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
How small is your house?
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:14 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by WaltonRed View Post
How small is your house?


Here it is.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:16 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by madstock View Post
"Local woman goes on killing spree over miniscule landing-strip of carpet"

That would make the Globe, surely?
It'll be bigger than that (no pun intended). It'll be front page of the Echo.

No wonder she wont play scrabbulous. She'll be waiting for the letters O U F C F K F to appear on the letter rack.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:18 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by kopitegaz View Post
It'll be bigger than that (no pun intended). It'll be front page of the Echo.

No wonder she wont play scrabbulous. She'll be waiting for the letters O U F C F K F to appear on the letter rack.
I've been waiting for her to finish a game for weeks, Gaz - I'll play with you.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:18 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Are you sure you didn't measure it wrong sweetheart?
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:20 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
The house isn't small, just the landing.

I had a new fire fitted yesterday. It looks really nice and it's even remoted controlled, but when the fitter was testing it I commented that it didn't seem to be getting very hot, so he said "No, they're not meant to. These wall-hung fires look the business, but they're more ornamental that functional. The average gas fire gives out 4 (something or other, can't remember the terminology), but this only gives out 0.7".

Over £600 for a fire that doesn't give off any heat. I could have just got big photo of a fire instead.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:20 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by madstock View Post
I've been waiting for her to finish a game for weeks, Gaz - I'll play with you.
You always win though. You know big words.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:22 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by She Knows It View Post
The house isn't small, just the landing.

I had a new fire fitted yesterday. It looks really nice and it's even remoted controlled, but when the fitter was testing it I commented that it didn't seem to be getting very hot, so he said "No, they're not meant to. These wall-hung fires look the business, but they're more ornamental that functional. The average gas fire gives out 4 (something or other, can't remember the terminology), but this only gives out 0.7".

Over £600 for a fire that doesn't give off any heat. I could have just got big photo of a fire instead.
Let me assist you with that.

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Old 14th February 2008, 03:23 PM
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Re: Beyond Fucking Belief...
Originally Posted by kopitegaz View Post
Let me assist you with that.

You spooky bastard! That actually is my fire.
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Old 14th February 2008, 03:28 PM