Bird Advice

[Section_31]

Some bird started chatting to me a couple of weeks back when I was out with me mate, anyway, we got one well and I got her number.

After a couple of days I got in touch and we arranged to go out for a few drinks and a film. We got on dead sound and she seemed like a really down to earth and classy girl.

Anyway we arranged to go out again later in the week, and we were messaging each other a lot.

She was texting me while she was out with her mates saying the bar she was in was ‘much more fun when I was there’, and then when she went on a trip to London she was messaging me constantly saying she’d told her mates about me too, and that she was looking forward to the next time we were meeting up.

The day came and she said she was too tired to go out but that I could go to her place to watch a film, so I took her some sweets and a DVD (Heat!)

We were lying on the couch, having a smooch and a cuddle, she’s stroking my arm and all the rest of it and it seemed like she was propper in to me. I mean she was just lying there with her eyes closed, big grin on her face and it looked like she was well happy!

anyhoo, I get off home and didn’t get in touch with her for three days - as I had loads on - and then when I did she didn’t reply.
Next day I sent another message and she didn’t reply again.

Next day she replies saying her phone’s been duff, ‘how are you?’ etc etc so I just replied the usual stuff, but you could tell she was having none of it.

Next day I thought ‘fuck it’ and asked her if she fancied meeting up again, and she sends me this big long message about how she’s dead busy and ‘doesn’t have room in her life at the moment for anything else and to not hate her etc’

Anyway, I took this on the chin and at face value as I know she was up the wall (she’s a primary teacher and her school’s been put on special measures and the head sacked - she’s had the press on her case and what not, and she works from 7.30 - 6 most days, including sat when she looks after disabled kids.) And also a bad time with the ex etc etc (haven’t they all?!)

But, describing my musings to some mates over a few beers last night it was pointed out to me that the reason for the whole kafuffle is me not getting in touch with her for three days after I’d been to her place, that she’s been stewing on it, and by the time I got back in touch - probably in fact hated me.

What do we reckon? Face value brush off or am I just an inverted version of Casanova with the retarded social skills of John Coffee?

[PaddyBerger15]

God knows S31 mate....I've long since given up on trying to work out what the best and most appropriate course of action is with women.

If you have 2 possible scenarios for action you can bet that both can be wrong, both can be right or they can be both right and wrong at the same time. Sometimes you do what you think is right for the right reasons and you fail the 'test'...even though you didn't know you were being 'tested'.

It seems a shame that after such a promising start that its gone like this after a few days. Life is busy sometimes and life does go on. Just leave it for a few days and she will probably text you saying she's missing you or some such twaddle. Just play it by ear. My mate is going through a similar thing at the moment and doesn't know what to do right for doing wrong. Maybe give it a few days....text her, rebreak the ice and see what response you get. If you don't get any encouragement, just leave it be.

It could be just as she says it is...or it could be as your mate describes....either way its not worth getting into a wrangle over.

[Dirk]

She's giving you the straight brush off because she is a woman scorned.

[captainharris]

You can't win mate. If you contacted her the following day you'd be accused of being too full on and desperate. You leave it a few days and they get pissed off off cos they think you're not interested.

[TK421]

Originally Posted by Section_31 Next day I thought ‘fuck it’ and asked her if she fancied meeting up again, and she sends me this big long message about how she’s dead busy and ‘doesn’t have room in her life at the moment for anything else and to not hate her etc’.

Sounds like there's another bloke sniffing around. If it was me I'd ignore her. If it was chess it'd be her move.

[RJ Fan club]

Bewildered by that. God knows S31.

A similar phone thing happened to me and the missus when were in the initial stages of our relationship (after about a week). It nearly resulted in a missed date and no more us. But it just worked out and was a mobile phone problem we were having. Then I got the brush off two weeks later, seen her down the street three weeks later and she arranged to have a beer, years later we are still together.

I think you got every right to ask her the question if she seemed so keen. She may need reassuring, she may not want to see you again, but until you face it off, you won't know.

Make a call, you never know lad.

[Elmyn Noos]

Shag one of her mates, and watch her come running.

[Dirk]

Originally Posted by captainharris You can't win mate. If you contacted her the following day you'd be accused of being too full on and desperate. You leave it a few days and they get pissed off off cos they think you're not interested.

Quite right. They are a law unto themselves, I think the correct way to approach them is in the context of their last relationship. Their previous relationship probably existed on a continuum between possessive psychopath and disinterested, self absorbed, loose psychopath. If they had a possessive ex, then they will want space, if their ex was self-interested and didn't show her they cared enough then they might be looking for something a little bit more full on to bolster their esteem. The problem is finding out what their last relationship was like.

[PaddyBerger15]

Originally Posted by Elmyn Noos Shag one of her mates, and watch her come running.

In the night fog of confusion, Noos is the shining beacon of sense.

[Section_31]

Think there's some confidence issues in play too, when I was saying I was into her on the first night she just kept saying 'it's amazing what beer can do' and 'It's the beer goggles talking!'

Anyway, I did notice a slight change in her behaviour when I told her she was fit while I was round hers, 'No I'm not' she goes, and I said: 'You kept saying that last week and I thought 'what's up doesn't she own a mirror' and she goes 'yeah but I just don't look in them.'

Then she said: 'I'd better go to bed now'

So I gets Ghost and that was the last I seen of her.

I've never met a bird who doesn't come out with this kind of stuff so thought nowt of it.

[RJ Fan club]

Originally Posted by Section_31 Think there's some confidence issues in play too, when I was saying I was into her on the first night she just kept saying 'it's amazing what beer can do' and 'It's the beer goggles talking!' Anyway, I did notice a slight change in her behavious when I told her she was fit while I was round hers, 'No I'm not' she goes, and I said: 'You kept saying that last week and I thought 'what's up doesn't she own a mirror' and she goes 'yeah but I kust don't look in them.' Then she said: 'I'd better go to bed now' So I gets Ghost and that was the last I seen of her. I've never met a bird who doesn't come out with this kind of stuff so thought nowt of it.

That seems a little beyond the ordinary TBH.

[mattyq]

Toss a coin - heads you win, tails you lose

[AK78]

Originally Posted by Section_31 Think there's some confidence issues in play too, when I was saying I was into her on the first night she just kept saying 'it's amazing what beer can do' and 'It's the beer goggles talking!' Anyway, I did notice a slight change in her behavious when I told her she was fit while I was round hers, 'No I'm not' she goes, and I said: 'You kept saying that last week and I thought 'what's up doesn't she own a mirror' and she goes 'yeah but I kust don't look in them.' Then she said: 'I'd better go to bed now' So I gets Ghost and that was the last I seen of her. I've never met a bird who doesn't come out with this kind of stuff so thought nowt of it.

'yeah but I kust don't look in them. That bit right there - she has serious self-confidence issues........ then you not contacting her for 3 days when it was all 'love's young dream' at her house has done it - she has been upset by you not contacting her, and might well think she's better off without to be honest

[Faustus]

She wants your cock.

[Doctor Troy]

The best thing to remember about women is that most of them have issues, the ones that don't normally invent issues so they can have something to be big drama queens about.