Promises for the future

[Remmie]

I promise when I'm older to never, under any circumstances, ever take my kids to the supermarket.

[madstock]

I promise when I'm older to never, under any circumstances, ever take anyone else's kids from the supermarket. Or Portuguese apartment.

All a moot point, as I will be in Cuba.

[Plewggs]

I promise to wear a hat and not tell her my name.

[She Knows It]

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobrietry of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.


But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Jenny Jacobs

[RJ Fan club]

I won't drive at 40mph or slower on national speed limit sections of single carrigeway roads and I will get my pension by bank transfer instead of going to the PO. I will be rude to all young people and assume thay are all thugs.

[dirty_sanchez]

I won't smell of piss and talcum powder.

[RedinSweden]

I will smell of piss and talcum powder.

[dirty_sanchez]

Sniff sniff.

You already do!

[real red]

I will take my grandchildren to the supermarket. I will give them sweets that make them hyperactive then take them home to their parents.

I will drink piss and eat talcum powder.

[mattyq]

I'll be the most miseerable old bastard the world has ever seen

[rondeco]

I will save the world.

[RED Tezza]

Originally Posted by mattyq I'll be the most miseerable old bastard the world has ever seen

I'm already here

[RedinSweden]

Originally Posted by real red I will take my grandchildren to the supermarket. I will give them sweets that make them hyperactive then take them home to their parents.

Dont forget that you will wind them up before taking them back and then questioned the parents' parenting ability when they are bouncing off the walls.

[Josef Svejk]

I won't pretend that my dirty old man perving is anything other than dirty old man perving.

[TK421]

I promise I will never die.

[PaddyBerger15]

I promise I will hunt down and kill Noel Edmonds and Keith Chegwin....for the sake of mankind and the future of all our children.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

I promise when I am old I will NOT put this sign up by my house



I also promise to not go to cafes, Mcdonalds etc and buy a cup of tea and take two hours to drink it.


Instead I will be downloading porn at an internet cafe.