I understand that The Wirral has officially been quarantined from Liverpool today.
What is going on? Has there been some kind of Blitzkrieg? An anschluss with Skelmersdale bringing with it a closure of the borders? Are the Liverpool inhabitants now walking around Church Street in a fetching brown shirt/black boots combo with dyed blonde hair spouting philosphies about keeping the Scouse race pure.
What next? The occupation of Ormskirk.
Will we Wirralites have to enter into a treaty with Chester to come to our aid in the event that Liverpool decide to expand its empire in this direction?
Will the Americans enter into hostilities - a couple of years late as usual (unless oil is found on Bidston Hill - in which case it may be THEM we need to be worried about).
In the spirit of 1948 will food and essential supplies be airlifted over the Mersey blockade to ensure that our sovereignty is maintained irrespective of the sanctions imposed by the Dale Street Reichstag.
Next phase is to drain the Mersey and replace it with sulphuric acid.
Not sure how we tackle the problem of immigrants from the other side though. I would suggest finding an extremely strong aeroplane to take Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney and James Beattie to 40,000 feet before dropping them over no man's land, thus causing three huge craters which could then be filled with yet more sulphuric acid.
