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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 26th March 2006, 09:07 PM
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Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Just heard the following by Coldplay on the radio. And people say they're college boys!

***

Oh, brother, I can’t, I can’t get through
I’ve been trying hard to reach you
Cause I don’t know what to do
Oh, brother, I can’t believe it’s true
I’m so scared about the future
And I want to talk to you
Oh, I want to talk to you

You could take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be
You could climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody had sung
Or do something that’s never been done

Are you lost or incomplete
Do you feel like a puzzle
You can’t find your missing piece
Tell me how you feel
Well, I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak
And they’re talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be
You could climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody had sung
Or do something that’s never been done
Or do something that’s never been done

So you don’t know where you’re going
And you want to talk
And you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before
You'll tell anyone who’ll listen but you feel ignored
And nothing’s really making any sense at all
Let’s talk, let’s talk
Let’s talk, let’s talk

***

For more of this poetic genius head over to www.alwaysontherun.net/coldplay.htm

Are there any other worse bands, lyrically? Only one I can think of cam up with this Miltonian masterpiece:

***

It's not worth anything,
More than this at all.
I'll live as I choose,
Or I will not live at all.

So return to where you come from,
Return to where you dwell,
Because harassment's not my forte,
But you do it very well.

I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all.
I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

You must have nothing,
More with your time to do.
There's a war in Russia,
And Sarajevo too.

So to hell with what you're thinking,
And to hell with your narrow mind,
You're so distracted from the real thing,
You should leave your life behind, behind.

'Cause I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

I'm free to decide, I'm free to decide,
And I'm not so suicidal after all,
At all, at all, at all.

***

Collected works available at www.alwaysontherun.net/cranber.htm
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:12 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Kate Bush - Mrs. Bartolozzi
====================
I remember it was that Wednesday
Oh when it rained and it rained
They traipsed mud all over the house
It took hours and hours to scrub it out
All over the hall carpet
I took my mop and bucket
And I cleaned and I cleaned
The kitchen floor
Until it sparkled
Then I took my laundry basket
And put the linen all in it
And everything I could fit in it
And all our dirty clothes that hadn’t gone into the wash
And all your shirts and jeans and things
And put them in the new washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine

I watched them go ‘round and ‘round
My blouse wrapping itself in your trousers
Oh the waves are going out
My skirt floating up around my waist
As I wade out into the surf
Oh and the waves are coming in
Oh and the waves are going out
Oh and you’re standing right behind me
Little fish swim between my legs
Oh and the waves are coming in
Oh and the waves are going out
Oh and the waves are coming in
Out of the corner of my eye
I think I see you standing outside
But it’s just your shirt
Hanging on the washing line
Waving its arm as the wind blows by
And it looks so alive
Nice and white
Just like its climbed right out
Of my washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine

Slooshy sloshy slooshy sloshy
Get that dirty shirty clean
Slooshy sloshy slooshy sloshy
Make those cuffs and collars gleam
Everything clean and shiny

Washing machine
Washing machine
Washing machine
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:15 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

And she's supposed to be a "serious" artist. I fucking hate Kate Bush...
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:22 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

*snorting*
It was a dusty old night
and I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure i upset someone
But my memory has chosen to omit it

A tiny voice was telling me
i should cool it
Chewing my face off
talking absolute rubbish

The first line hit me like a kick in the face
Thought I better have another one just in case
Next thing i knew my heart was under attack
Bought a one way ticket to hell....

And Back!
One Way Ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

I'm always trying to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
They seemed fit to join me for a couple of hits
But my septum is in tatters
And I've still got the runs

Burn for a moment then you kick like a mule
Strangers are agreeing that it was rocket fuel
Several massive chocking lines of glorious gak
Bought a one way ticket to hell...

And back!
One Way Ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back

[Sitar/effects]
Stick it up your f*cking nose! Woohoo!
[Solo]

Holy coke, repeating myself, except I'm getting slightly louder
Pausing long enough to snort that white powder
Wheels steering off but I'm still on track
Bought a one way ticket to hell

And back!
One way ticket to hell and back(yeah)
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back(ooh yeah)
One way ticket to hell and back,
Bought a one way ticket to hell (oooh yeaah)

One way ticket to hell and back(woo!)
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back,
Bought a one way ticket to hell...

**********************************************

..........that's bad........
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:26 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

That's pretty fucking bad! Source?!
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:28 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Originally Posted by Josef Svejk
That's pretty fucking bad! Source?!
The Darkness

http://www.lyrics007.com/Darkness%20...%20Lyrics.html

I always get this urge to kill my radio everytime I hear that one. I usually promise myself to buy a shotgun to have around just to shoot it next time it's on, but then I cool off when it's finished. One way ticket to hell......and back!

And back, for fucks sake!!! It's a motherfuckingonewayticketyoucuntflap!!!
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:30 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

But, understand, there are lyrics that are so (intentionally) bad that they amount to genius. Case in point:

***

She went away for the holidays
Said she's going to L.A.
But she never got there
She never got there
She never got there, they say

The KKK took my baby away
They took her away
Away from me
The KKK took my baby away
They took her away
Away from me

Now I don't know
Where my baby can be
They took her from me
They took her from me
I don't know
Where my baby can be
They took her from me
They took her from me

Ring me, ring me ring me
Up the President
And find out
Where my baby went
Ring me, ring me, ring me
Up the FBI
And find out if
My baby's alive
Yeah, yeah, yeah

o o o o o o
o o o o o o

She went away for the holidays

The KKK took my baby away

They took my girl
They took my baby away
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:34 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

There isn't anyone anywhere worse lyrically than Oasis:

Cigarettes And Alcohol

Is it my imagination
Or have I finally found something worth living for?
I was looking for some action
But all I found was cigarettes and alcohol

You could wait for a lifetime
To spend your days in the sunshine
You might as well do the white line
Cos when it comes on top . . .

You gotta make it happen!

Is it worth the aggravation
To find yourself a job when there's nothing worth working for?
It's a crazy situation
But all I need are cigarettes and alcohol!

You could wait for a lifetime
To spend your days in the sunshine
You might as well do the white line
Cos when it comes on top . . .

You gotta make it happen!
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:38 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Yeah, but they're from Manchester, so you assume stupidity...
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Old 26th March 2006, 09:49 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

I think this has been on here before - posted by Aidan IIRC (All restbonus of course)

The Clash:

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

If I go there will be trouble
and if I stay it will be double....

- - - - -

I fail to spot the dilemma.
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Old 26th March 2006, 10:28 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Chico.

"You can get delirious if you take life too serious".

It makes no sense you twat; delerium is good. Your 15 minutes are up, now off you fuck.
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Old 26th March 2006, 10:35 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

"Cooking MCs like a pound of bacon." - Vanilla Ice.

"I'm as serious as cancer when I say that rhythm is a dancer." - Snap.
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Old 26th March 2006, 10:38 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Desree's "Life" takes some beating for shiteness

Ooh, Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Life
Oh Life
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life..
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Old 26th March 2006, 10:43 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Not sure whats worse, the lyrics or you all being able to remember them...
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Old 26th March 2006, 10:59 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Originally Posted by DJLJ
Not sure whats worse, the lyrics or you all being able to remember them...
Ever heard of Google?
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Old 26th March 2006, 11:00 PM
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Re: Worst Lyrics in the World... Ever!

Originally Posted by plonky
Desree's "Life" takes some beating for shiteness.
You've convinced me... Toast?!
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Old 26th March 2006, 11:03 PM
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