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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 22nd February 2006, 07:16 PM
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Wank Phrases people use at work.
Lets touch base.

I'll call you on the land line

Ok lets think OUTSIDE the box.

my all time fav.

Caught between a rock and a tough place.

I always try and make people say things twice just to point out how ridiculous they sound
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Old 22nd February 2006, 07:24 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Gotta love management speak - looking forward, proactivity is the watchword, whilst keeping abreast of interim developments. We must keep our feet on the ground, sing from the same hymn sheet & pool our resources to develop top-down a soft skills culture based on goal orientation. or something
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Old 22nd February 2006, 07:52 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Fake it to make it, performance focused culture, first in class, think outside the box, reinvent the box, aces in thier places, only as strong as our weakest link, stay pro-active, if you have time to lean...you've time to clean, clear direction, guest focused, set up for success, fail to prepare...prepare to fail, the guest is always right. The list goes on and on.........
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Old 22nd February 2006, 08:41 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Originally Posted by aikido
Fake it to make it, performance focused culture, first in class, think outside the box, reinvent the box, aces in thier places, only as strong as our weakest link, stay pro-active, if you have time to lean...you've time to clean, clear direction, guest focused, set up for success, fail to prepare...prepare to fail, the guest is always right. The list goes on and on.........
Next meeting you go to.Play Buzz word bingo.write all the crap speak in boxes like bingo cards and each time one is said mark it off,first one to get a line wins and shouts "Buzz Bingo".Then leaves the job.

"we need to sharpen our pencils"
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Old 22nd February 2006, 09:03 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Strategic fit and synergistic benefits.

What you need to do is before any meeting write all the management speak on a series of card. As they come up in the meeting you tick the one's on your card off. The first person to tick all the words off on their card has to shout - "BULLSHIT".

This game is called "Bullshit Bingo".
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Old 22nd February 2006, 09:09 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Make sure you have all your ducks in a row.
The information needs to be cascaded down.
It's a showstopper.
It's a go or no go.

I can't bare to think of any more they drive me fucking bonkers!
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Old 22nd February 2006, 09:25 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Can we take a rain check?

Put this one on the backburner.


F*ck off.
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Old 22nd February 2006, 10:29 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
"Going Forward". WTF? As in "We'll <management speak> going forward".

What else are they going to do? Invent a time machine so they can go backwards?
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Old 22nd February 2006, 10:30 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Ball park figure. Fuck off.
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Old 22nd February 2006, 11:22 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Originally Posted by real red
"Going Forward". WTF? As in "We'll <management speak> going forward".

What else are they going to do? Invent a time machine so they can go backwards?
That is said about 50 fucking times a day in my office,

and they also reckon that there is a no blame culture.... until something goes wrong.
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Old 22nd February 2006, 11:35 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Originally Posted by real red
"Going Forward". WTF? As in "We'll <management speak> going forward".

What else are they going to do? Invent a time machine so they can go backwards?

We've a department in work called "Forward Planning". What other planning is there?

And I don't want anyone touching my base or keeping me in the loop, just tell me what's happening.
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Old 22nd February 2006, 11:39 PM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Taking my dinner at 12 bells

I HATE that.
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:03 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
A base line and my other fave "quick deliverables"
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:15 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Lets take this discussion offline.
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:16 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
I'm having a "helicopter moment"
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:27 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Originally Posted by Mav
I'm having a "helicopter moment"

What on earth does that mean?
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:41 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Any idea what this means:

"Discover the challenges faced by asymmetric forms of governance and an approach to working that focuses particularly on the way a business understands the risks that arise from how it relates to exogenous geometries, in addition to the more familiar risks associated with managing its endogenous geometry."
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Old 23rd February 2006, 12:48 AM
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Re: Wank Phrases people use at work.
Originally Posted by Dermot
That is said about 50 fucking times a day in my office,

and they also reckon that there is a no blame culture.... until something goes wrong.
Whenever I'm told about our 'no blame culture', my temptation is to test it out to the fucking maximum. Pretty sure I'd have a 'no job culture' PDQ (aaah, I said PDQ. Fuck off!!!)
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Old 23rd February 2006, 01:02 AM
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