Praise be!!!!

[Mav]

Listening to City on my way into work this morning and heard another representative from the Planet Do-Gooder. This time some dusty academic from Liverpool Uni talking about disruptive pupils in school. Apparently we're doing it alllllllllllllllllllll wrong.

When a student does something wrong in a classroom we shouldn't shout at the little bastard as that just encourages them. What he SHOULD do - he tells us - is to praise the genetically maladjusted blob. Riiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhhtttttt - gotcha.

"Degsy that was a wonderful interjection about Wazza being a queer whilst I was trying to explain Pythagoras theorem and the trajectory on that phlegm as it hit Cookie on the back of the head was as sublime as a Tiger Woods tee shot. And making paper aeroplanes out of that £15.00 text book was very resourceful of you. You just carry on as after all I'm only trying to teach and your itty biddy little ego being massaged is FAR more important than that."

In this day and age when you read about assaults on teachers it really is allowing the lunatics to take over the asylum. If we don't teach respect for others any more why are we remotely surprised when no one has it .

So here's my plan. Attach electrodes to the little twats and if they step out of line - turn the knob.

Paul............?

[Paul]

I can and do handle Grade A lidders on a daily basis, and get them to learn. However, there's no simple solution as there are millions of things you need to get right every day in order to be a good teacher - and every teacher gets loads wrong on a daily basis too. I've heard golf described as the toughest sport to succeed in because there's such a small margin for error: a grip that is two millimetres out of position can be magnified into the ball being twenty yards into the heavy rough. Teaching is similar in that you have to be on top of every aspect of your game, all the time. That's what makes it so stressful and demanding - particularly when you're dealing with very challenging kids.

Despite there being no single rule, there are some things that I think are vital. You need to be firm (make the boundaries explicit and never move them), fair (scrupulously so) and friendly (not mates, but rather being interested in kids). Communication skills are vital, as is a sense of humour. However, obvious as it may sound, most importantly you have to like and care about children; they know the ones who don't (and there still are quite a lot of them in the profession) and give them hell.

On the specific point of shouting and aggression, it is a weapon in the armoury, but one that I use very, very rarely as it almost never achieves anything - particularly with kids who come to school to find stability and routine away from the mayhem and violence of their lives outside school.

In my experience, the very best teachers are the ones who never look beyond themselves for explanations as to why they failed in a lesson or situation with a kid. The cackers will blame everything bar their own skills.