[madstock]

I fully intend to start a many-tented harem in Llandudno, based on some sort of cult with me as it's great and worshipped leader. (This will have to be before Cuba).

As a carrot-crunching softy southerner yokel, I yearn for a farm that isn't too far away from here; you can keep your cows, pigs and sheep (I can buy all of those off the shelf, already cut up), but I could happily live with ducks, goats and a donkey named Beryl. (That possibly wears a straw hat).

The benefits of said farm also include a modern 7 bedroom farmhouse with pool, full access to amenities including shops, doctors and people, a blueyonder broadband connection area.

In short; I will never, ever, ever move back to London or Bristol, nor will I want to live life as a crofter somewhere, but give me either a farm, a harem, or a place by the sea and I will be happy.