[real red]

From: sammy-al-ansari-L40TH@dubaimail.com
To: *******@yahoo.com
Date: Sun, 27 Jan 2008 12:46:20 -0500
Subject: DIC Generic Email

Hi Reds Fan,

This is a generic email we are sending to many Reds fans.

We're getting a bit worried about reports Rafael Benitez is not spending his budget wisely.

A top advisor told us that Rafa was a poor judge of player.

Our advisor said that Voronin was rip-off even at that price, and that Babel was nearly as bad as Dirk Kuyt, a player our advisor got quite angry about.

He also said that he couldn't believe Rafa had signed Crouch FFS. (Is FFS an honour given to English people by your Queen, like Gerrard MBE has?)

We pointed out that Fernando Torres had done well but our advisor assured us this was as a fluke and unlikely to happen again. He didn't answer us when we also said the same about Pepe Reina, Daniel Agger, Javier Mascherano and Xabi Alonso. In fact no matter how many times we pointed this out he seemed to answer other questions.

Still, our advisor has his finger on the pulse and so we trust his judgement.

He tells us Jose Mourinho is the man for the job at Anfield, and as such we have got him lined up ready for when we buy out those Hicks boys. From what our advisor tells us we needn't worry about spending a third of our transfer budget on paying Rafa off and paying Mourinho's first year wages.

Our advisor also tells us that we need to look again at the stadium plans. He says the best stadium in the country is not far from his home. Although we're still waiting for more details, he tells us we'll like its name. It's in North London and named after an airline.

He's also told us that we need to start looking again at plans for our next home kit. We asked for his views and he suggested it was a good shirt, but that the sleeves should be white. And that white shorts would work better.

Please support our campaign to (note to secretary, please put a phrase in here that sounds like we care, but don't mention that profit we'll make).

(Note to secretary, insert some words from one of their songs. Not that scouser bobby one, the one they do before the players are on the field.)

Yours in friendship,

Sammy A.