[Faustus]

My mate went to a Sportsman's Dinner were Gary Gillespie was the guest speaker and said he told a cracking story:

Gary Gillespie and John Barnes were rooming together on a pre-season trip and whilst a few of the lads were down in the hotel bar having a bevvy, Gary Gillespie was having a kip in the room. Anyway, he gets a knock on the door and it turns out it's Barnes, whose just been having a drink in the bar. Digger tells Gillespie that he's just pulled a bird from the bar and she's on her way up to the room. Digger then tells Gillespie to hide in the wardrobe until he's finished.

Gillespie then squats down inside this wardrobe with the door open a tiny bit so he can spy on Digger going to town on this tart. After a while, Barnes tells this girl to bend over, close her eyes and not to open them until he says so. The girl agrees and does so. Next minute, Barnes motions to Gillespie to come out of the wardrobe and mouths the words "take over from here" to him."

Barnes then proceeds to quietly get dressed and fuck off back to the bar whilst Gillespie starts doing this bird from behind whilst she's completely unaware that John Barnes has gone back downstairs for a few bevvies.