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Old 27th March 2008, 11:24 PM
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Re: do you want us to sign David Bentley?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
There are three I've seen that would be perfect: Alves, Lahm and (mental block - Italian who can play left back and right back - Zambrotta?; actually, what the fuck's happened to him?). Make that two, then. However, that's probably £30m on two full backs, right there.
If I though that we'd have the money to buy those two, then I'd agree completely. There's not much that needs to be said about Alves and although I've not seen that much of Lahm, in what I have seen he looked like a cracking player, absolute dynamite. I mean, I would literally run up and down the street screaming if we signed that pair. In fact I'd do it outside my office in Salford, every day, for at least a month.

In short, I'd love it but I worry that we're outside the boundaries of realism.

We'd surely better hope and pray that the assclowns in charge have gone by the summer though, if we're to have any hope at all of signings like that. I don't really want to see GG/TH borrow even more money against the club to fund transfers (if they were able to borrow at all in the current economic climate), I'm not convinced that we'll be able to raise sufficient funds from sales to buy players ofthat calibre in today's market without leaving the squad thin in other areas and I'd be amazed if GG puts in anything other than a token amount of his own money towards player purchases. In fact I'd be amazed if he put in anything at all.

As for Zambrotta, few players cause me the mental turmoil that he does. He has the occasional duff game but on the whole, he's a very good player and would fit the current system perfectly. He's versatile too and although he's not a kid anymore, that experience would also be a valuable asset. The trouble is that he's definitely a Juve man and would be far more likely to sign for them if they came in for him.

It also means that despite his obvious talent, I have nurtured an irrational loathing of him for many moons. I would be forced to address this if we signed him, especially since he'd doubtless play well, so for purely selfish reasons I hope other options present themselves. He really would be good though, I mean absolutely perfect. The total cunt. You see, this is just from thinking about it...

I'm hoping a keffiyeh-wearing fairy godfather will turn up with a blank cheque for Europe's finest attacking full-backs and another £25m striker as well. I'm expecting Bentley, Darren Bent at a discount and possibly someone like broken Chelsea bastard Wayne Bridge. It seems that my optimism is in need of a reboot.
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