Can I just point out that we're being taken over by Bond movie villains. Evil mastermind, beautiful assistant, it's all so obvious.
I've heard that the plans for the new ground have been revised to include an underground laboratory, nuclear facility and barracks for a private army of kung-fu assassins. Inside a volcano.
Access will be by futuristic orange monorail, departing the security terminal at Melwood following biometric identity verification. Hardhats are compulsory.
Merseyrail had originally planned to operate the service but the company was unable to tender, following the death of their entire bidding team when a Chinese military satellite unexpectedly left orbit and crashed into the company's offices.
The Chinese government, lately the recipient of several billion dollars worth of funding for it's space program originating from private equity sources based largely in the Middle East, described the event as "
a tragic accident."