Brazil v Portugal was brutal.  Diving, playacting, snidey challenges, trying to get other players sent off, it was like a Chelsea training session.  But you know what, it’s hardly surprising is it when FIFA do nothing to discourage it.  Kaka had to sit this one out.  Why?  Because he was the victim of the worst kind of cheating, and FIFA did nothing about it.  In fact, they did worse than nothing, they punished Kaka and let the real guilty party away scot free.  He got to play against North Korea whilst the watching millions were deprived of the chance to see Kaka in action.

FIFA are an absolute fucking joke, they’re allowing cheating to dominate the tournament.  If they had any balls they’d have let Kaka off and given the Ivory Coast player a ten game ban, and warned anyone else who wants to do the same thing that they’ll get the same punishment.

There was a real nasty undercurrent to this game, with Pepe involved in most of the unsavoury stuff.  He’s a piece of work him, I remember him acting the twat when we played Real Madrid the season before last, and isn’t he the loon who got that big suspension last season for booting fuck out of a goalkeeper or something?  The stamp on the calf of Felipe Melo was appalling, and it led to Melo being booked and immediately substituted for taking retribution the next chance he got.  That was ace though, he just laid him out with a body check.  I loved it.

I’ll be compiling a ‘Twat List’ at the end of the tournament, and Pepe just made sure he’s one of the first names on it.  He looks an even bigger cunt now that he has hair.  No doubt he’ll target ‘Nando’ in the next round, as he did his best to cripple him when we hammered Real.

Other observations from Brazil / Portugal.  Julio Baptista is still shit, and Brazil’s best players are all defenders.  Portugal played for a draw and got it, but they can fuck off and I want them out as soon as possible.  They don’t concede many, but when they have Ronaldo up front on his own, and about seven defenders in the side.  Ronaldo’s selfishness was staggering in the first half.  Shooting from anywhere, he was like Mark Gonzalez on steroids.  His team-mates didn’t have the right to be pissed off though, as it’s not like any of them were attempting to run forward and support him.  Take away the tasty fouls from the first half and this might just be the worst game of the tournament so far.

At least Mad Mick was doing the commentary, which brightened it up a little.  “I haven’t got a hat, but if he scores direct from there I’ll go out and buy one and then eat it”  That’s why I like Mick McCarthy.  “It’s real parasite football” was another gem, and completely spot on too.

In the other game, Ivory Coast beat North Korea 3-0, but no-one really cared.  Gervinho’s hair freaks me out a little.

I’d been really looking forward to Spain against Chile, and for a while it lived up to my expectations.  Chile were brilliant early on, but Villa’s terriffic goal against the run of play was a kick in the teeth for them, and when Iniesta’s second was followed by an immediate red card for Estrada, it looked all over for them and they were now relying on Honduras to hold the Swiss.  I thought the red card was really harsh, and I didn’t like the part Torres played in it one little bit.  He was clipped (albeit accidentally), no question, but he went down like he’d been hit by a fucking truck, and lay there motionless for ages, to the extent that he didn’t even see Iniesta’s shot go in.  Not impressed with it, and if it had been Drogba or Ronaldo I’d be going to town on them.  Not nice to see.  Maybe it was frustration at his own form, as he was shite again and didn’t look happy or fit.

Sympathy for the Chile players is in short supply though, as Estrada had been fortunate to get away with a bad challenge minutes before (although Iniesta made a meal of it), and Ponce was lucky not to be red carded for kicking Nando on the knee in an off the ball incident in front of the ref.  Ponce looked like he wanted to get sent off actually, as he committed another assault just before half time, this time on Xabi.

I feel betrayed, as only yesterday was I writing that Waldo Ponce is now my favourite player.  Not any more, Waldo.  Not any more.  Shit name, shit hair, ok player.  No-one does that to my Xabi.  Twat.  For Waldo’s sake Alonso better be ok to play in Spain’s next match, or I’ll hunt him down and butcher him and his entire family.  Don’t think I won’t, Waldo, I’ll fucking do it.

Ponce apart, Chile are boss though, thank fuck Switzerland didn’t go through at their expense.  Down to ten men, against arguably the best side in the world, and they still stuck to their attacking principles and even managed to pull a goal back and give Spain a scare.  Whatever happens now, Bielsa is the coach of the tournament for me.  I love Chile’s approach to the game, and the coach has to be applauded for that system they play.  I’d be made up if they put Brazil out, but I can’t see it as the lack of discipline they showed against Spain means they’ve now got some key players missing through suspension.

As for Spain, I wasn’t too impressed, with either the performance or the constant playacting.  Chile may have lost their heads, but some Spanish players didn’t help matters by feigning injury and asking for cards to be shown (Busquets, Pique, Iniesta and Torres the main ones).  If they keep that up, their game with Portugal will be a real cheatfest, and Ronaldo mightn’t even be the worst culprit.  I just hope it’s not Torres.

Made up the Swiss are out though.  See what happens when they have to go out and win a game?  They can’t do it because they don’t know how, they’re just like Greece.  They’re just plain shit, except the right back, I like him.  Actually the keeper has been great as well to be fair.  They can still fuck off though, boring bastards.  Pisses me off that them and the Greeks get to come here and bore the tits off everyone, when teams like Ireland, Egypt and the Czechs could have been here.  Even Scotland would have given it a good go.

I just remembered that I wrote in the last round up about how I didn’t like that Slovak keeper and how he carried on against the Italians.  Turns out he’s signing for Everton apparently.  He’ll fit right in with the likes of Pienaar and Cahill then.

So that’s the group stage over with, and so far for me the most impressive team has probably just about been Argentina.  Their group wasn’t the strongest, but they’ve done well and won every game.  Can’t ask for more than that.  Holland also look strong, and now have Robben back.  Brazil and Portugal have been the best defensively, and David Villa, Messi and Honda have been the most impressive attacking players for me.

Highlight of the group stage has been Maradona and his antics.  France being humbled was brilliant too.  Alonso’s majestic performance against the Swiss was another, and New Zealand holding Italy to a draw was ace as well.  North Korea briefly putting the shits up Brazil is also worthy of a mention, and I loved it when Palermo came on and scored for the Argies.

Low point was Domanech acting the twat and refusing to shake the hand of the South Africa coach, and Dirk’s new haircut was another disappointment.  Another low point was my arl fella deciding the Italian National Anthem sounded like “Bringing in the sheep” and then singing that all the way through and completely ruining it for me.

So now it’s onto the last 16, and knockout football.  England v Germany could be epic, and I’m still unsure what I want from that.  If Carra plays, I’ll have to support England as I’d feel bad for him if they lost.  If he doesn’t, then I’m not sure how I’ll feel about it.  The head can’t really decide this one, it will be a case of waiting until the game starts and seeing how I feel.  It won’t be a conscious decision as to who I support, it will just be a case of what the heart wants and I’m not going to know until the game starts.

The other games are a lot clearer.  I don’t mind who wins out of South Korea and Uruguay, and I’d like to see USA, Spain, Holland, Chile, Argentina and Japan all go through.

Best of the group stages squad:

GK  Benaglio (Swi), Eduardo (Por), Handanovic (Slovenia):  D Maicon (Bra), Lichsteiner (Swi), Contreau (Por), Lahm (Ger),  Lucio (Bra), Carvalho (Por), Pique (Spa), Tanaka (Jap):  M Alonso (Spa), Veron (Arg), Sweinsteiger (Ger), Bradley (USA), Sneider (Hol), Oezul (Ger):  F  Sanchez (Chi), Donavon (USA), Villa (Spa), Forlan (Uru), Messi (Arg), Honda (Jap):