Day 7 saw Argentina kick things off against South Korea, and they laid down a marker with an impressive 4-1 win.  The day before Maradona had caused a bit of a storm in his press conference by attacking Pele and Platini.  No idea what they did to incur Diego’s wrath, but he said “Pele should go back to the museum and Platini is a typical Frenchman who thinks he is better than everybody else”  What a guy.  He’s still the biggest obstacle Argentina have to overcome if they are going to win this thing, but I’d love to see him lead them to glory.  Give me a loon like Diego over a boring bastard like Del Bosque or Dunga anyday.

His press conference after the game was class too.  A reporter’s question about him kissing all his players after the game got a little bit lost in translation, and Maradona’s eyes almost popped out of his head, as he then launched a spirited defence of his heterosexuality.  Funny stuff, he’s proper loco is Diego.  I fear for what he’ll do if they lose though, he’s either gonna twat the ref, kick off on the opposing coach, or have a mental breakdown on the touchline.  Maybe all three.  And if they won the trophy, would his old ticker stand up to it?  He’s so emotional, and his presence is adding a lot to this world cup, I just hope he doesn’t make some mad decision that costs them.

Lawrenson said he’s the best player he’s ever seen, but that he’s ‘a numpty’.  He’s lucky Diego doesn’t know who he is, or he’d be getting the Pele and Platini treatment.  I dread to think what he’d say though.

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The Argies were brilliant in spells against S Korea, but they looked vulnerable in defence and Di Michelis is a train wreck.  They’d be better wheeling out Pellegrino and his clipboard and sticking him at centre half.  Messi hasn’t caught fire yet, but he’s still been very good and you get the impression he’s got another gear he can go to when he needs it.  Higuain bagged a hat-trick, and he’ll need to keep scoring as they’ve got the brilliant Milito waiting in the wings.  In attack, Argentina are brilliant, but they’re very suspect at the back and that will probably cost them.  Only Diego would pick Gutierrez at right back and leave Zanetti at home.

In the afternoon game, Nigeria went 1-0 up and were looking good, but then Kaita had a moment of madness and was sent off.  If I were his coach I’d ban him for ten games for that, fucking idiot.  They never recovered from it and lost 2-1 to Greece, for whom Kyrgiakos made his first start of the competition. Even with ten men they could and should have got something from the game, and they missed the worst sitter of the tournament so far.  The Yak has one more game left to beat Roger Milla’s record, but it’s not looking good now.

Mexico v France saw an upset, if you can call it that.  In truth, France losing to anyone right now isn’t that big a shock, as they’re a mess.  My boy Salcido had another great game for Mexico at left back, and they were good value for their win.  Blanco scored a pen, the legend.  One final observation, Mexico’s keeper doesnt look like a footy player, he’s like a bad guy from Miami Vice.

As for France, they’re just shit.  Plenty of talent, but a lame duck madman coach and a bunch of players who’s attitude stinks.  Domenech is nuts, it’s hard to believe he’s still in a job, and clearly the players don’t want to play for him.  I expected France to go through from this group, but look awful in doing so.  Now I’m not even sure they’ll go through.  They only have to beat South Africa, who are garbage, but still.

Day 8 saw Germany kick things off.  They were brilliant I thought, even with just ten men, and would have won easily if Podolski hadn’t wasted chance after chance after chance, including a penalty that was hilariously conceded by that dog Vidic.  Jonathon Pearce on BBC couldn’t stop creaming himself over Vidic, telling us how ‘brilliant’ he’d been.  Watched a different game to me then.   But then unlike Pearce I don’t have my tongue lodged in Manchester United’s collective ringpiece.

I felt sorry for Germany, they played really well despite the laughable sending off of Klose, and they should have won the game at a canter as they bossed it.  The Milan Baros lookalike in midfield has really impressed me so far, and Sweinsteiger is class.  The subs were shit though, Cacau and Marin.  Don’t like either of them, and that Gomez fella looks crap too.  Be interesting to see who replaces Klose for their last game.  I hope they go through as I’ve enjoyed watching them so far.

The ref in that game was disgraceful  He was booking players for nothing, and gave Germany fuck all apart from the penalty that he couldn’t not give.  There was something very suspicious about his performance I thought.

I’m warming to Jovanovic, he’s looked good so far, took his goal well and that celebration suggests he’s a little bit crazy. I look forward to watching him next season.  That shot that hit the post was really unlucky too.  That big dope Zigic though, he’s proper shit.  A mate said to me that Zigic is what Crouch would be like if he couldn’t play football.  I can’t warm to Serbia, as I don’t like most of their players and they’re a negative and boring side.

The afternoon game saw America take on Slovenia.  Not one I had any hopes for, I even considered giving it a miss but I’m glad I didn’t as it was a cracker.  Landon Donovan is a really good player, you can see why Everton wanted to keep him.  I like watching him, he’s quick and direct and always looks a threat.  Michael Bradley has impressed me too, he’s the coaches son which must be a bit awkward for him, but he’s played well and looks like a player who’d be suited to playing in English football.

Slovenia don’t impress me at all.  They were really lucky not to lose this game, and only the worst refereeing decision of the tournament saved their skins.  Looking at the replays of that ‘goal’ for the USA, there were three Slovenia players fouling Americans, and if he’s blowing the whistle it could only be for a penalty.  It’s difficult to comprehend how he can look at that and see an infringement by an American.  The result wasn’t good for England though, as it keeps both sides in the hunt for the knockout stages, and if USA win and Slovenia hold Capello’s men to a draw, it’s bye bye England.

Of course, it shouldn’t matter as England should be able to comfortably see off Slovenia in their final game, but given that they could only draw with Algeria there’s nothing to suggest they’ll turn Slovenia over.  I didn’t even watch the Algeria game, I was driving up to visit family in Sunderland. I had the radio on, and it was pretty funny listening to it as Collymore was scathing of the performance.  I did catch the highlights later on, and based on that I didn’t think England looked too bad.  My brother in law is a big England fan though and he was gutted. He said it’s the worst performance he’s ever seen from them.

Apparently an Englishman has now been charged by the police with tresspassing after he had to be escorted from the England dressing room after the game.  They said he had no business being in there.  But enough about David Beckham, the real story after this game was Rooney slagging the fans off for booing.  Bit of a dilemma for me here, as I don’t want to side with either Rooney or England fans.

A lot of England fans are small time knobheads and they need little encouragement to boo (these will be the same morons taunting Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard etc next season with ‘you let your country down’, probably fans of teams like Villa, Leyton Orient, Southend etc), but when you’ve played as ineptly as Rooney had, you don’t really have the right to say jack shit to be fair.  In summary, Rooney is a tit but he has a point, as there was booing even at half time.

Capello really needs to get his shit together now.  Is he playing Heskey for a bet or something?  It’s beyond ridiculous, but I can’t say I feel anything other than amusement by it.  The clamour for Joe Cole is also funny.  He’s a good player, and I’d say he probably should be in the side, but the longer he’s ignored the more his reputation goes through the roof (”if Joey Cole was playin’ we’d av won 10-0 innit”).  If he doesn’t start the next game he’ll be at Messi’s level in the eyes of fans, press and pundits.  His agent will be loving it, every game he doesn’t play adds an extra 10k a week to his pay packet from whichever team signs him.

Mongo’s press conference also caused a bit of a stir, “Everyone needs to say what they think and if it upsets him (Capello) or any of the other players, so what”.  Tut tut.  I can see Terry waking up with a horses head in his bed tomorrow.  Mind you, the horses head would probably be more freaked out than him, the ugly bastard.

Holland beat Japan 1-0 to get Day 9 rolling.  Perhaps for the first time in the tournament I’ll concede that the ball played a big part in that goal by Sneider.  Maybe the Nigerian keeper can also blame the ball for his fumble that cost them against Greece, but most of the others have been goalkeeping errors rather then the ball moving strangely.  This one was different though, the Japan keeper was diving one way and the ball ended up going the other.  Great strike by Sneider to be fair though.  Cracking player him.

Affelay looked lively when he came on, but missed two great chances.  I like him, but he’s something of a poor mans Overmars I think.  With the likes of Elia, Affelay, Robben, Van Persie, Van der Vaart and Dirk to choose from, it’s amazing that Ryan Babel actually made their squad at all.  He’s not got on the pitch yet, which is probably a good thing as I wouldn’t want his transfer value dropping any further.

Next up were Australia and Ghana.  The Aussies got a draw despite having Harry Kewell amusingly sent off.  The decision was correct, but ludicrously unfair.  Thems the rules though, and I can’t muster too much sympathy for Kewell as to be brutally frank I don’t like him.

I’ve always thought that a red card for handball on the line is wrong.  Personally I think a goal should just be awarded.  If a penalty is awarded and scored, that’s punishment enough and a red card is then very excessive, especially when it wasn’t a deliberate attempt at cheating (as with Kewell).  But if the penalty is missed then how is that fair?  Ok, the sending off evens it out a bit, but it also ruins the game.  The only fair way of doing it is to just award a goal whenever it happens (as long as the ball was definitely going in of course). Won’t ever happen though.

The Aussies dug in and it was a good point for them.  Ghana need to look at it as two points dropped, especially as they have Germany up next.  Asamoah Gyan was lively and scored his second pen of the competition, and produced another celebratory dance.  The world cup is the only time those dances are acceptable, and I’ve got no problem with it.  The South Africa one on the opening day was good, and will be one of the iconic moments of the tournament.   Gyan’s dance was good too, but still, when I see Prince Boeteng joining in with it I can’t help but think ‘what a fucking prick’.  He’s just a really bad tit, definitely the biggest twat at the world cup who isn’t called John Terry.

The night game was a cracker, Denmark won 2-1 and Rommedahl had the game of his life.  He’s never played like this before, and he’ll never do it again.  A Danish mate of mine said that he’s the Lucas Leiva of the Denmark side, as everyone wonders how he manages to get in the team.  Encouraging this, as it suggests that one day Lucas might produce a performance like this too.  The sun even shines on a dogs arse somedays, and this was Rommedahl’s day in the sunshine.  One day Lucas will have his.

I thought Cameroon were the better side by far, and but for terrible finishing would have won easily.  They were hugely improved on the Japan game, and it took Eto’o just nine minutes to show the folly of not playing him centre forward against Japan.

As for Denmark, Agger and Kjaer look pretty good as a pair, and Kjaer’s long passing was sensational.  At the other end of the park, Bendtner and Tomasson formed the most punchable faced front pairing in the history of the World Cup.  Long time readers of the fanzine will know I’ve always hated Tomasson, and they’ll know that there’s no particular reason for it other than I don’t like his face.  That’s not changed, it may have been several years since I’ve seen him, but the old disdain is still there.  How I laughed as he squandered those two great chances.  Bendtner played ok, but he’s just such a massive helmet it’s impossible not to hate him.

One final thing from Day 9.  I watched Match of the Day that night, and Craig Johnston was talking about the ball.  I’ve changed my mind about it now, if Skippy says its shite then thats good enough for me.  What a guy.  Legend.

Slovakia lost to Paraguay in the opening game of Day 10.  As I said after the first game when they failed to beat the Kiwi’s, Slovakia are absolutely shit.  With Italy to come though, they may still be able to get a win under their belts, as the Azzurri are pitiful.  Paraguay are decent enough, solid at the back and ok in attack.  Not spectacular, but pretty effective and they’ll give anyone a game.

The World Champions continued to disappoint by failing to beat New Zealand.  They went behind early to an offside goal, but were then awarded a pen for shirt pulling.  Tough to take, given that Italian defenders do that at every set piece and have done since time began.

I wrote after New Zealand’s first game that they are so bad that the TLW footy team would give them a game.  Of course, I was exaggerating (slightly), but I tell you what, me and Alex Woo would give their defence more problems than the woeful Gilardino and Iaquinta did.  The worst Italian front two I’ve ever seen, but even when Di Natale (I quite like him) and Pazzini (never seen him before, but on first impression I can see why he’s behind Iaquinta and Gilardino) came on things didn’t get much better.  The worst Italy side I’ve ever seen.  That National Anthem deserves a much better team representing it, but they’ll probably sneak through and end up in the semi’s, as that’s what they do.

ITV’s Chris coleman didn’t know half the NZ team, so he just decided he’d call them all Smith.  Even when Tyldesley would drop a hint by saying the player’s actual name (such as ‘great challenge by Winston REID), Coleman would just say ‘yeah Smith did terrific there, Clive’.  Strange.

It was funny seeing that 18 year old kid from West Brom completely skinning Canavarro.  He did really well that lad (Chris Wood I think), and he could be someone to watch out for next season as he looked a handful.  Like a less shit, less twatty version of Bendtner.

The final game of the day saw Brazil beat the Ivory Coast in a really bad tempered affair.  Both teams were cheating right from the off, diving, playacting, over the top tackles, it was all there.  And yet the only red card came for Kaka, who didn’t do a thing.  I’m not really arsed, as Kaka annoys me for some reason, probably goes back to that t-shirt he wore in Athens.  It was a great first goal by Luis Fabiano, but his second goal was ridiculous.  He handled it twice, clearly the hours spent playing beach volleyball have paid off for him.  The ref awarded the goal, then went up to him and asked if he’d handled it.  Fabiano gave it his best ‘no not me guv’ routine and the goal stood, as the ref had a good old chuckle about it.  Shocking.

Ivory Coast were woeful until late on when Drogba’s goal gave them some hope.  Sven had sat there doing nothing for most of the game, until he belatedly made a few ‘like for like’ substitutions. In his defence, he was eyeing up those Brazilian birds in the crowd and was a little distracted. And I’ve decided that the Brazil keeper looks like Johnny Knoxville.

The biggest story of Day 10 surrounded the French, who went on strike and refused to train.  Anelka was sent home for telling Domenech what he thought of him (easy for people to blame Anelka given his reputation, but seriously, would you be able to play for that clown?), Evra said there must be a traitor in the camp and then got into a big row with one of the fitness coaches, which resulted in the players refusing to train and Domenech going in front of the cameras and reading out a statement by the players.

What the fuck is he doing?   Can you imagine Capello doing that?  He’s a fucking patsy, with no credibility.  He should have told the players to read their own fucking statement.  He looks more like a mime artist than a football coach, any time I see him in front of the TV cameras I expect him to put on some white make up and gloves, and pretend he’s trapped in an invisible box.