Day Four got under way with a game that had a significant amount of interest for us.  Dirk Kuyt against Daniel Agger.  Both got on the scoresheet, but sadly for Agger both goals went past Thomas Sorensen as Holland ran out comfortable winners.  Denmark will be alright though I reckon, as Japan and Cameroon are both shite, and played out a real Ibrahimovich of a game in the afternoon.

I like the left winger who came on as sub for Holland, Elia I think, we’ve been linked with him for a while but as we don’t have a manager that might present a slight problem.  I’d happily swap Babel or Riera for this lad though if Hamburg were up for it.  And what’s with Dirk’s haircut?  How can I put this without being insulting?  Let’s just say that some people do not have the face to have short hair, and Dirk is one of them.  Let it grow son, let it grow.

In the Japan game, the lad Honda who got the winning goal impressed me quite a bit.  Good engine on him that lad.  Thank you, I’m here all night.  One of their centre backs was great too, he seemed to get his head on every cross that came in.  Not sure if it was Tanaka or the other one though, who’s name escapes me (my sticker album is upstairs and I can’t be arsed getting it).

Japan defended very well, and that’s been a feature of the tournament so far.  Teams who aren’t very good are getting decent results because they are well organised and work hard.  The so called good sides just aren’t doing enough to break them down, and it’s making for some awful games.

Cameroon are a good example, they were absolutely woeful.  It’s pretty funny when you think back to Italia 90, people were saying that in 20 years time an African team could win the World Cup.  Well here we are 20 years on, and the African teams are largely stinking the tournament out?  Ghana looked alright, but Nigeria and Cameroon - traditionally the big hitters of African football - have looked terrible so far and South Africa are crap.  The Ivory Coast might do something, but I can’t see any of the others making it past the last 16.

Playing Eto’o on the wing is madness.  Mourinho could do it at Inter because he had Milito, but who do Cameroon have that is even remotely close to being in Eto’o’s league?  One of the top five strikers in world football, and they stick him on the wing.  Like I say, madness.  Paul Le Guen is right up there in the crank stakes with Diego and Domenech.

The night game saw the holders in action, and they were disappointing.  No surprise, Italy very rarely dazzle in the early games.  They very rarely dazzle in any games.  It is always foolish to write them off, but that’s exacty what I’m going to do.  This is not a good Italy side at all, especially in attack.  He’s obviously highly thought of in Serie A, as always gets picked in the squad, but for me Gilardino is fucking crap.  I just don’t see what the fuss is about.  They’d be better off wheeling Pippo Inzaghi out, as he may be shite, old, permanently offside and a bit of a twat, but he knows where the goal is.

Iaquinta was useful in the last world cup coming off the bench, but I don’t reckon he’s any good either.  I’ve never seen him play, but people tell me that Pazzini from Sampdoria is really good, so they may as well stick him in as he can’t be any worse than what we saw against Paraguay.

I’ll admit I’m not that well up on Serie A these days, it bores me shitless if I’m honest, but there were some players in that side I’d never even heard of, one of them playing in the key position behind the frontmen.  The position in the past that the likes of Baggio, Del Piero and Totti usually occupied.  Italy have no superstar now though, they’re a very average looking side, and although history suggests they’ll grow into the tournament, I reckon the first good team they face will knock them out.  That may not be until the semi’s though looking at their draw.

The rendition of the national anthem was as awe inspiring as ever though, and for that reason I’ll always want the Italians to go far.  *sings * Fratelli d’Italia, L’Italia se desta, Dell’elmo di Scipio Se cinta la testa….

As for Paraguay, they looked decent enough without really doing much in attack.  They were well organised and good at the back, and they will probably get through if they can avoid defeat against Slovakia.  That shouldn’t be too hard given that Skrtel’s boys couldn’t even beat New Fucking Zealand.  I mean come on, that’s really terrible that.  I’d fancy the TLW footy team to give New Zealand a good game, and yet Slovakia couldn’t even beat them.  A lot of shit teams in this tournament, and you can include Slovakia in that.  Again though, the lesser sides are doing well based solely on organisation and work rate.

Portugal and Ivory Coast was a game I was looking forward to, but it was another shitfest.  Drogba featured, despite all those scaremongering reports about him missing the tournament.  There was never any doubt he’d be involved in the first game, this is what he does, the fucking shithouse.  Ronaldo got booked for diving, which is what he does, the fucking shithouse.  I only saw bits of this game as I was dragged to the supermarket by the missus and then had to take my little girl to the park.  Comes to something when walking around Morrisons is only marginally less of a chore than the footy.

In the night game, Brazil’s long awaited arrival into the competition was a bit of a damp squib.  Didn’t surprise me, I’d predicted they’d win 2-0 and look poor.  I was almost right, but I didn’t see the North Koreans getting a goal.  I was made up, I cheered that goal.  They played ok, and the centre forward looks talented even though some of his decision making was shocking (shooting from anywhere and generally getting a bit over excited any time he got near the Brazil goal).  It’s a shame they couldn’t have grabbed another as that would have been an amazing story.  Still, I expect everyone in North Korea is celebrating a 1-0 win anyway, as the glorious leader will have had those Brazil goals wiped from the edited highlights.

Brazil were really average though, but that’s what they are in my opinion.  They’ve got some top players in there, but no superstar.  Case in point being Elano.  Seeing him in the Brazil side just removes all the mystique and aura that they’ve had.  Robinho as well to a lesser extent.  In the past, you’d look at Brazil’s players from afar, and admire them.  They were players who plied their trade in Italy or Spain, and therefore weren’t that familiar to us.  Everyone loved Brazil back then.

But that’s changed now, and when you see that a couple of Man City rejects are their most effective attackers (aside from the full backs, who as always are really exciting), it’s hard not to be a bit underwhelmed by them.  And that Felipe Melo is shit, I’ve heard lots of people wondering how Lucas gets anywhere near the Brazil squad, but looking at their central midfielders I can see why.  Lucas has been up against much superior players at his club then he has for his country.

And what the fuck was Dunga wearing?  I know it was cold, but damn.  Did his nan knit him that jumper?  Joachim Low was watching on TV and was so offended by it he reported his Brazilian counterpart to the fashion police.  Dunga is the new ‘Special One’.  Not because of his Mourinho like managerial qualities, but because he just looks a bit ’special’.  Brazil will get out of the group, but I don’t know how far they will go.  I like their centre backs and keeper, their full backs are brilliant going forward, but I’m not too impressed with their front four and their central midfield offers less going forward than Liverpool’s did last season.

Day Six got under way with Chile against Honduras.  A lot of people have been talking about Chile as a team to watch, and they showed enough to suggest that the hype isn’t misplaced.  They play nice football, are very attacking and that 3-3-1-3 formation they are using is fascinating.  They’re very refreshing, and I’m looking forward to watching them again.

Not Mark Gonzalez though, he can fuck off.  How bad was he when he came on?  Shooting from everywhere, and just generally being shit.  I actually hate him, the reason being I’d convinced myself he was going to be phenomenal when we bought him, but he let me down so badly with his complete and utter shitness.  His cameo in this game was just funny.

The highly regarded Alexis Sanchez was impressive, whilst Fernandez and Isla looked lively as well.  Honduras weren’t hopeless, but they were well beaten and I doubt they’ll do much against either Spain or Switzerland either.

Spain could be in a spot of bother after losing to the Swiss.  They have to beat Chile now, and whilst I’d say they probably will do, losing to the Swiss has made things a lot more uncomfortable for them than we all expected.  It was a bad result for me personally, as in addition to rooting for Spain, I fucking can’t stand Switzerland.  It was a weird game, as Spain battered them for long spells but were pretty wasteful and paid the price.

I wrote the other day about how over-rated Ribery is and how I don’t see what the fuss is about.  A mate text me in this game and said he feels the same way about David Silva.  I know what he means, he’s the kind of player who you accept is really good because people always say he is.  Most of the time when I see him play he’ll do a couple of nice things, but generally leave me feeling disappointed.  This was a great example of that.  He’s not worth anything like the kind of money he’d cost, I’m not sure he’s that much better than Benayoun to tell the truth, and wasn’t Albert Riera keeping him out of the Spain side not so long back?  Hopefully he’ll prove me wrong and have a good tournament, as I want to see Spain do well.

Torres was rubbish when he came on, but he’s been out a while and understandably looked rustier than Xabi’s glorious beard.  Speaking of Xabi, he was fucking fantastic, spraying the ball over the park and keeping things ticking over in the way that only he can.

I love him, he’s absolute class and I make no apologies for saying I’ve never gotten over his departure and the circumstances that led to it.  He’d be a joy to watch if it still wasn’t so damn painful.  * wipes tear *  One piece of play right at the end when he was the last man and he plucked the ball out of the air and skinned an opponent all in one motion, before playing an inch perfect ball down the line was just sublime.  I may be biased, but this was the best individual display of the world cup so far for me.

Not far behind him was Forlan against South Africa.  I’ve written before about how much I like Forlan, he’s a really good player and he ran rings around the host nation.  His movement off the ball is outstanding, whether it’s making space for himself to receive a pass, or creating space for others.  He plays the game in the right spirit too, works hard, doesn’t cheat and is just a good professional.  Top, top player, and if we weren’t so skint I’d love to see him playing off Torres next season.  South Africa were really shit though, it was easy for Uruguay.  When it went to 2-0 half the crowd fucked off too, which was disappointing to say the least.  Still, at least it meant less vuvuzelas.

Uruguay’s centre backs are impressive, but that Diego Lugano is proper fucking crazy.  Just look at his eyes, he has definitely killed people.  Scary bastard, big too.  No wonder nobody has got anywhere near their goal so far, they’re trying to stay as far away from him as possible.  Watching the first game, I thought his face was familiar, but it was only during this game that I realised where I’d seen him before.  He played against us in the World Club Championship in 2006, and he was a right twat in that game too.  Not that I’d tell him that to his face like.  And hopefully he won’t be reading this, he’ll be too busy pulling legs off spiders, or rats, or people.  Fucking loon.

As for the pundits, well Robbie Earle was sacked by ITV at long last.  Not for being shit, but for touting tickets or something.  Feel a bit sorry for him actually, Bobby Charlton did it and got a knighthood.  Adebayor continues to piss me off, not because of anything he’s said, but because I was comfortable with my stance that he was a huge twat, and he’s making me rethink that by coming across as a decent fella.  Maybe he’s not so bad after all. Generally I’m enjoying the punditry.  Edgar Davids is just too cool for school, and Seedorf is fucking boss, he’s defo my favourite so far.  Viera and his little softly spoken girly voice is becoming a bit irritating, but former Arsenal team-mate Lee Dixon is very good.

So far, BBC probably just about have a slight edge on ITV in terms of the coverage, but they are responsible for not only the worst moment of the tournament, but possibly the worst of my entire life.   I’m sat there on tuesday, minding my own business and happily watching the half time analysis of the Cameroon / Japan game, when all of a sudden, without any warning there it was, John Travolta dancing with Tim Cahill, whilst singing songs from that God awful chick flick Greece.

Harry Kewell was loving it, completely oblivious to the irony of him singing “You better shape up”.  Not even in my worst nightmares have I been as horrified as I was watching that.  Every time I’ve closed my eyes since I see that haunting image, Cahill and Travolta doing dance steps…. I don’t quite have the words to express what I’m feeling right now, other than to say I think I’ve lost the will to live.