Well, that’s a relief that the mancs didn’t get 19 and all doubt was pretty much erased when Wigan went behind 2-0 and a man down. However, by the end of that match I felt dirty that they’d won, with Drogba and Kalou’s air band celebrations and the hypocrisy of Big JT carrying around his kids.

You know I could look past Rooney and Ferdinand and quite like England but the thought of that cockney punk getting his greasy sullied hands on the Jules Rimet trophy is too much to bear. I mean you can’t even count on the cry baby cunt to make a simple penalty to put the mancs away. I really, really dislike John Terry.

Where is the Jackal when you need him to take out Abromovich and to think those twats were days away from destituteness and they’d be playing Luton Town and invading Kenilworth Road. Fuck Glasnost and the Wall coming down. If they’d just waited another decade Ambromovich would be working in the aluminium mines instead of flipping them and buying yachts and shitty classless football clubs.

I’d rather see Wenger and his Puffy Coat with the Premiership trophy, and I despise him too. And how embarrassing was Anceloti when he grabbed the mike and tannoyed come on you Chelsea or whatever he blurted out in his Italian accent. Thought the fucker had some class the gum chewing jabroni-wannabe.

Oh well, at least the thought that Ferguson’s two biggest cock slurpers, Whelan and Allardyce, played an integral role in the mancs not getting by us, can make me smile. I hope Wigan go down next year, they don’t belong in the Premier League. I’d rather see Leeds or Soton or even Coventry instead of them. No more golf dates Sam you fat pie-scarfing odious turd. And the topper, his side even handed us a gift in beating Villa but then when you start with a Moroccan who’s been god knows where you aren’t going to rock the casbah are you?

We’re turgid and I reckon Hodgson would make us the colour of dishwater before the pots and pans go in. I mean we wouldn’t be euphorically sudsy like Barcelona, but we’d be a little better. In other words, not as dull and predictable as Benitez. Not that I want Hodgson, which would be a mistake unless of course the goal next season is to avoid relegation. But they way things are going, we might need Roy now that Wolfsburg have snapped up Schteve. I wonder if he does German-faux accent as good as he does the Dutch-faux.

I absolutely disdain the close season and all the shite that goes with it but this close season is going to be worse than Gerrard and Chelsea flirtations both times combined. We’re embarrassingly being dragged throught the mud. We aren’t going to be sold I reckon, and if we are, no new owner is going to write off all the debt and losses we’ve acquired.

We’ve nothing to sell but Torres and Gerrard, I don’t trust the manager which is as polite as I can put it, and if we did manage to sell those two for huge amounts God only knows what he’d buy. Now way can we let Benitez loose in the transfer market, we’d end up with three lampshades and it’d all be somebody elses fault.

We’re saddled with two owners who want an over-inflated price for the club and a Chelsea supporter in charge of finding a buyer. And Jack Robinson? What the fuck? Not even Houllier, at the height of madness, would have dreamed up that. Just bizarre.

At least June 11 when Morgan Freeman comes out in the sunshine in South Africa and the Mexicans and Bafana take the field there’ll be a welcome distraction. My team: the North Koreans. Loony dictator, isolated rogue terrorist state, three missiles pointing fuck knows where at fuck knows who(Tokyo? San Francisco? Guam? Honolulu? Singapore?) and they’ll probably bring 100 supporters with them dressed like Chairman Mao. Dear Leader indeed.

Crazy fuckers sinking South Korean warships and getting away with it, I reckon I’d have made a decent mid-level bureaucrat in Pyonpingpyang or whatever the capital is. I actually imagine all the do there is play table tennis and worship Dear Leader whilst trying to figure out which way to point the missile so it doesn’t land in China.

What is it, eight weeks to Europa League qualifiers? Woo-hoo!  Europa League fucking qualifiers!   So, how are we getting to Torshavn?

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