Archive for the ‘10 PWSTK (WL)’ Category

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t necessarily shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

1 Igor Biscan - It had to be really, didn’t it? Everything about the Big Croatian screamed out ‘Cult Figure’. For a start, there’s his name. ‘Igor’. Or ‘Eeeeeeeegor’, as he quickly became known. Then there was the way he looked. He arrived here with a basin head haircut, and in all the time he was here he never really managed to get a decent hairstyle. Bless him.

After a hugely promising start, Biscan’s Anfield career hit the skids. He had a small cult following, but generally he was just viewed as another big money signing who was not good enough to hold down a regular place at the club. TLW has been criticised in some quarters for turning him into some sort of unlikely folk hero, but like I said, he already had a little cult following way before we got involved. All TLW did was take the gospel of Biscanbauer and spread it to the masses. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t necessarily shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

2 Erik Meijer - He’s big, he’s red, he’s off his f*****g head. Never has a song summed up a player so well. The Big Dutchman who was snapped up on a Bosman from Bayer Leverkusen in the summer of 1999 proved to be a popular figure with the fans, but it was certainly not for his goalscoring prowess. Meijer was a proper loon, but in a good way. As committed a player as any that have ever played for the club, Erik only knew one way to play, flat out.

Anyone who watched him stomping around St Helens like a madman in reserve games will testify to how committed this man was. Reserve games against Sheffield Wednesday were treated with the same gusto most players would save for cup finals. What he lacked in talent he attempted to make up for with sheer effort, and the one thing Liverpool fans always warm to is a trier. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t necessarily shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

3 Titi Camara - He was shit before he arrived, he was shit when he left, but for the short glorious spell that he was a Liverpool player, Titi Camara f*cking ruled. I love Titi Camara, and he probably shouldn’t be in this list as he’s much better than a lot of the others who made this top ten. He’s in there not because we laughed at him (like Phil Babb for instance), but because he made people smile. He was a real character.

He’s a strange one is Titi. Before he arrived he had stank the place out in the UEFA Cup Final for Marseille, but in some ways that probably helped him at Liverpool. Expectations weren’t high, so that may have lessened the pressure on him. He made a great start to his Liverpool career, and my first real memory of him is seeing him juggling the ball and taking the piss out of Arsenal at Anfield. It was the game when Robbie scored that cracker from 30 yards. I also recall Titi shoulder barging Lee Dixon and almost sending him into the Paddock. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

4 Djibril Cisse - What can I say about Djibs? Some loved him, some hated him, and some – like myself – loved him and hated him often at the same time. The colourful Frenchman was one huge contradiction. He’d speak about his great love for the club and the fans, and he’d back it up by wearing a red suit to get married in or be seen around town wearing a vintage grey Candy Liverpool away shirt. Then he’d refuse to close down defenders and fling his arms into the air when passes didn’t arrive exactly where he wanted them. He was completely infuriating on the field, and usually that kind of player isn’t tolerated. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

5 Antonio Nunez – If he was judged on his first few months at the club, ‘Crazy Tony’ would be a candidate for worst LFC player ever. Nightmare performances away at Norwich and in the FA Cup at Burnley were as bad I’d seen from a Liverpool player in a long time. But then it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise. He was included in the deal that took Michael Owen to Madrid, but he wasn’t Rafa’s first choice. Or his second, or third. In fact, the rumour is Rafa didn’t ask for him at all, but Madrid made us an offer of £8m, or £8m & Antonio Nunez.

Rafa took the offer, as the player’s wages were low, and it represented a risk worth taking. Nunez had played for Madrid’s first team a few times, but was usually a member of their B team. I’d convinced myself (without anything whatsoever to base it on) that Nunez was going to be a revelation. No-one expected anything of him, so for some reason I decided he was going to surprise everybody and be some kind of Luis Figo. I reasoned that no matter how good he was he wouldn’t have got a chance at Madrid, because he wasn’t a ‘Galactico’ and he was competing with Figo and Beckham for a place in their side. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

6 Phil Babb – Ok, we didn’t love him, far from it. But try thinking of Phil Babb with a straight face. Not easy is it? When I think of Phil Babb, I don’t think of his solitary Liverpool goal at former club Coventry. I don’t think of his total lack of talent, or his stupid shirt hanging out, cycling shorts crappy fashion sense. Well ok, I do think of all of those things, but not before I’ve thought of something else first. The name Phil Babb instantly conjures up one mental image for me, and it involves Babb, a goalpost, some seriously squashed nuts, and 40 odd thousand Liverpool fans torn between sniggering and wincing uncomfortably.

It says a lot for Babb’s general crapness that this is the defining moment of his Liverpool career. He cost the reds £3.6m, which was a record for a defender at that time. He’d had a very impressive World Cup for Ireland in 1994, including a superb display against Roberto Baggio’s Italy. Hopes were high when he and John Scales both arrived at Anfield within 24 hours of eachother early in the 1994/95 season. Roy Evans knew he needed to strengthen his defence, and by splashing out so much money on Scales and Babb he showed he really meant business. Read the rest of this entry »

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

7 Istvan Kozma – The Hungarian was apparently pretty crap, although in fairness I’m not sure how people came to that conclusion as sightings of him at Anfield were only slightly more common than those of the ‘lesser spotted Frank McGarvey’. Istvan made only six league appearances for the reds, which I suppose in itself was testimony to his lack of quality. After all, if he couldn’t get a game in Graeme Souness’ God-awful side, he must have been pretty poor.

Souness had been impressed with Kozma’s form in the Scottish league with Dunfermline, where apparently he’d given Rangers a lot of problems whenever he’d faced them. Souness remembered that, and brought the player to Anfield for £300k in February 1992. He made ten appearances in two seasons for the club, but I must admit the only thing I remember about Kozma’s Liverpool career was one glorious 45 minute cameo in the remarkable 4-4 draw with Chesterfield in the League Cup at Anfield.

I was 18 years old, and was stood on the Kop with a couple of mates. We’d got in a few hours early, as we used to do back then to ensure we got the spec we wanted. The stadium was half empty that night, and those of us who were there could hardly believe what we witnessed in the first half. David James, Nick Tanner and Mark Wright were appalling, as Liverpool’s defence leaked like the proverbial sieve. Amazingly, the team from two divisions below the reds went into a 3-0 first half lead. It was shaping up to be one of the lowest points in the club’s history, until an unlikely hero arrived on the scene to save the day.

Kozma was introduced at half time, and was a revelation as he inspired a second half comeback that eventually saw the reds salvage a 4-4 draw. His trickery and crossing ability made a massive difference to the previously toothless reds, as Liverpool laid siege to the goal at the Kop end. The atmosphere in that second half was great, and it was all inspired by the Hungarian.

The Kop were in full voice that night, and it was probably the one and only time as a Liverpool player Kozma heard his name chanted. It was actually my mate who started it, giving it the “Iiiiiiiiiiiistvan, Iiiiiiiiiiiistvan” (just like “Iiiiiiiiigoorrrrrr”) after he’d set up a goal (for Ronny Rosenthal I think).

Having excelled in the Scottish League, Chesterfield was probably his level and it was the one and only time he made any impression as a Liverpool player. Not being able to get a game in one of the worst Liverpool sides in living memory says a lot. But never mind Istvan, we’ll always have that wonderous night against Chesterfield….. Altogether now, one for the road: “Iiiiiiiiiiiistvan, Iiiiiiiiiiiistvan!!!”

They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter) Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

8 Barry Venison – Some may be surprised at the inclusion of the player signed by Kenny Dalglish from Sunderland for £200,000 in July 1986. He wasn’t a bad player by any means, but that’s not what this top ten is about. It isn’t the ten worst players, it’s players who weren’t the best but had something about them that was pretty funny or endearing. In Barry’s case, it was his haircut and his wardrobe! He was a steady full back, a decent back up but never really good enough to be a regular starter.

He wasn’t quick, wasn’t particularly skilful or good going forward, but he was a good competitor and steady defender. ‘Solid but not spectacular’ would be the best way to sum Venison up on the field. Off the field was a different story. Sporting a mullet that Michael Bolton would have been proud of, Barry had a penchant for outrageous clobber, and was a constant target for ribbing from his team-mates. With a wardrobe so colourful it made John Barnes look positively dull, Barry was the butt of many a dressing room put down.

A friend of a friend of mine grew up with Barry in the North East, and used to go out on the town with him occasionally. Every time they’d go out, Venison would wear something hideous which would keep his pals amused. Then one night they saw him walking towards them, dressed in this conservative looking dark suit. Disappointed, they were just about to ask him what was wrong, when he turned round to reveal this huge white stallion on the back of his jacket!

He had a decent career at Liverpool, playing 158 games and even finding the net three times. He originally got his move to Anfield after writing to every club in the top division asking for a chance to play for them following Sunderland’s relegation. Dalglish gave him that chance and the player gave six years good service.

He left to join Newcastle, where he re-invented himself as a holding midfielder under Kevin Keegan’s management, and even managed to get himself a couple of England caps playing in that role. At the time Terry Venables was handing out international recognition to everybody, including the likes of Neil Ruddock and David Unsworth, but Barry’s club form did warrant the call up to be fair.

After hanging up his boots he got a job as a pundit with ITV, where he got the chance to show off his whacky suits to a national TV audience. Sadly, the mullet had long since gone, but we live in hope that it may return one glorious day.

“They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter)” Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

9 Sean Dundee - Ok, so we didn’t love him, but we laughed at him and seeing as though I was struggling to find ten players who fulfilled both of those requirements, the South African made the list by default.

In the summer of 1998 Roy Evans paid £2m for the striker who had forged a good reputation for himself in the Bundesliga. He had a good goalscoring record, and was described as a pacy, powerful forward who was as much a threat in the air as he was on the ground. That was partly true, in that his aerial threat was the same as his threat on the ground. He posed no threat either way.

On his arrival, he was asked about his strengths as a player. He immediately mentioned pace, saying “I’ve always been the quickest player at every club I’ve been at, but I hear Michael Owen is pretty quick so we’ll see…” Understandably, hopes were high amongst the fans after the build up he’d given himself, but he was a total flop, making only three substitute appearances before returning to Germany at the end of the season.

The most notable of those appearances was in a home defeat to Leicester City. As the ball was cleared out wide of the Leicester penalty area, Dundee set off after it, with a clear five yard start over Frank Sinclair. Yet Sinclair overhauled him with such ease it appeared Dundee was standing still. Faster than Michael Owen? Maybe now that Michael’s on crutches perhaps, but even that’s debatable.

He was a character though was Sean, and there were loads of wild stories doing the rounds about him, the strangest being that he had more than one wife back home in Germany. I never did find out if that was true, but nothing would surprise me as he was a bit of a party animal.

Rumour has it he’d turn up on a Saturday morning, still dressed in the clothes he’d left Melwood in the day before, stinking of booze, wanting to know why he wasn’t playing! There were also reported sightings of him cruising for talent around Liverpool City Centre in his convertible sports car. I never saw this myself, and it could be one of those urban myths you get about footy players, but it would explain why he couldn’t run!

I was told a story by a club employee a few years ago that Dundee actually scuppered his own transfer to a top German side, by asking them what the nightclubs were like in their city. Everything had been agreed, transfer fee, personal terms the lot, then he popped the question and they couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Luckily Stuttgart came in for him, he was warned not to ask any questions and we got a million quid for him.

When it comes to the worst player ever to play for the reds, Dundee is a strong contender. Had he been given more opportunites to play he’d probably be most people’s number one. Luckily for him hardly anyone can remember seeing him play. I saw him play in the reserves, but I’ve tried to erase that from my memory. We’d have been better off signing Mick Dundee from ‘Walkabout Creek’.

“They weren’t very good, but we loved them anyway. 10 Players Who Shook the Kop (with laughter)” Following on from liverpoolfc.tv’s excellent 100 Players Who Shook the Kop, here’s a TLW run down of ten players who didn’t shake the Kop with their talent, but gave us a good laugh and will be remembered with a smile.

Let the countdown commence!

10 Torben Piechnik – The likeable Dane arrived at Anfield during a difficult period for the club. Manager Graeme Souness was struggling to get things right, and the club was in a transitional period. Souness needed a centre half, but money was tight. He’d spent plenty already, and most of his signings had not worked out. Now the club were rebuilding the Kemlyn Road stand, and the cost of that had an impact on Souness’ budget. If he wanted to buy, he’d have to sell first. So Dean Saunders was offloaded to Villa, and Piechnik arrived from FC Copenhagen for somewhere in the region of half a million quid.He’d been an integral part of the Danish side that had shocked the football world by winning the 1992 European Championships, a tournament they hadn’t originally even qualified for. Hopes were high that Piechnik could have a similar impact at Anfield to that of his compatriot, Jan Molby. Those hopes were short lived.

His debut came, ironically, against Aston Villa and Saunders. The Welsh striker gained his revenge on Souness by scoring twice in a 4-2 Villa win. It was a game which will forever be remembered for a glaring miss by Ronny Rosenthal, but it was a sign of things to come for poor old Torben. He struggled to cope with the English game, and had real trouble dealing with any strikers with pace. He was slow on the turn, you could say that milk turns quicker than Torben, and he was often exposed as the reds held a high defensive line.
His most humiliating moment came in the 1993/94 season at St James’ Park when he was hauled off at half time as Andy Cole had a field day, hitting a hat-trick in the opening half hour of the game. The Dane didn’t play for the club again, and was released by Roy Evans at the end of that season. In total he played 27 games for the club, not all of them bad it should be said.

He was far from a success at Anfield, yet there was something very likeable about him. He was never booed or jeered by the crowd, probably because everyone recognised how hard he tried and what a good guy he was. I remember travelling to Chesterfield for the return game after the 4-4 at Anfield, and the terraces were bouncing to the ‘Torben Piechnik – Teddy Bears picnic’ song. “La la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la Torben Piiiiiiiiiechnic” Good times…

Torben always made a point of staying on the field after the game and applauding the fans (a bit like they way Dirk Kuyt does now), and that meant he was cut a lot of slack. How can you boo someone like that? I liked Torben, even though I could see he was pretty crap. ‘Crap’ is harsh, as clearly he was a decent player, he just wasn’t Liverpool standard, but it wasn’t for the lack of trying and I respect him for always giving his all.

I actually bumped into him in ‘Top Man’ in town a few months after he’d left. I said ‘hello’ and asked how come he was back in Liverpool. He said he was back to watch a game at Anfield because he had a free weekend, and he was also going to the club’s Christmas party. He may have been crap, but he still ruled. God bless you Torben!