There’s been a lot of rubbish written about Fernando Torres’ future of late, but Saturday’s Daily Mail wins the award for the most outrageously fictional. According to some jamook by the name of Neil Ashton, Fernando Torres is ‘known to be unhappy with life on Merseyside and would like a move to Chelsea if the clubs can agree a fee’. Wow, that’s pretty devastating news if you’re a Liverpool fan. Or it would be if there was even the tiniest grain of truth in it. Thankfully, there isn’t.

If Torres was unsettled on Merseyside, we’d know about it. For one thing, there’d be some evidence of it, either in his performances, body language or comments. And then of course, there’s the rumour mill. Not much happens in this city without there being some whispers about it. Of course, a lot of the whispers you hear are absolute bollocks, but if a player of the calibre of Torres was unsettled there’s no question that the word would be on the street in no time. Other players would know, they’d tell friends, they’d tell their friends etc Read the rest of this entry »

“You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks. Well, that was me, every time something good happened to me, something bad was waiting right round the corner. Karma, that’s when I realized that I had to change, so I made a list of everything bad I’ve ever done and one by one I’m gonna make up for all my mistakes, I’m just trying to be a better person. My Name is John.”

Things took a turn for the better last night for England’s Brave Lionhearted Captain Fantastic, as he scored the opening goal for his country in the friendly win over the USA. The reason for this change in fortune? Karma. John has made a list of everything bad he’s ever done and one by one he’s gonna make up for all his mistakes. He’s just trying to be a better person.

Last night he managed to cross off number 3279 on his list - “Insulted American Tourists after 911″. Before the game a still sobbing JT went into the opposition dressing room and personally apologised to the American team for any offence he caused their compatriots in the wake of the 911 tragedy. Turns out he wasn’t really to blame, as he’s a bit thick and easily led. “Jody (Morris) and Whitey (Eidur Gudjohnsen) made Mongo say bad things to nice Merican people. Mongo very sorry!” he blubbered.

The US team took pity on him and forgave him, and Karma decided that he’d righted the wrong from 2001 and rewarded him by letting him score the opener in England’s 2-0 win.

England face Trinidad & Tobago at the weekend. which gives ‘Big JT’ the chance to cross another bad thing off his list. . . . .

From the moment the final whistle went to end our CL hopes for the season at Stamford Bridge, I was adamant I was going to avoid the final at all costs. I wasn’t going to watch it, but reluctantly I would be hoping for a Chelsea win. Not because I have any less disdain for their team, but merely because I didn’t want the mancs getting any closer to our tally of five European Cups.

In the end I stayed away from it for 80 minutes, before curiosity got the better of me and I tuned in for the rest of the contest. Obviously I’m not happy about the outcome of the game, but if the mancs had to win it, I can’t think of a better way for it to happen. If I had to name the two players I detest more than any others at present, it’d be Terry and Drogba. So seeing what happened to the pair of them in Moscow makes the result a tiny bit easier to stomach.

Everyone knows what a twat Drogba is, he’s so obvious about it and the whole country hates him, probably even a decent number of Chelsea fans. Great player, absolute cunt. Time and again he pokes his nose in where it isn’t wanted, harrassing referees and moaning about any decision that goes against his team (and that’s without even mentioning the scandalous diving and feigning injury he subjects everyone to). Read the rest of this entry »

It’s been a couple of days since we lost to Chelsea, and it’s still difficult to explain how I’m feeling about it. Everybody reacts to defeat in different ways, and you only have to look on the TLW forums to see that. Some look for people to blame, others will point to the injustice of it all and others will defiantly declare that we’re going to make up for it in a big way next season. I’ve done all of those after various setbacks in the past, but this time I don’t fit into any of those categories. For me, there’s just an emptiness.

I’m actually very philosophical about the game itself, and I could live with the fact we lost if the club had some stability and competent people at the helm, as that makes it easy to just look to the future and say ‘we’ll do it next year’. We don’t have that though. The emptiness I feel is because as things stand, there’s nothing to look forward to except a summer of hell in which we’ll no doubt have more public spats between the owners, Rafa spitting his dummy about deals not being done quickly enough, fans at each others throats arguing about the calibre of player we are bringing in, and a lot of depression as our main rivals bring in the top players that we actually wanted. Read the rest of this entry »

“We would hope that Rafa Benitez will retain the integrity of the Premier League with his squad selection.” Last year it was Neil Warnock blaming Rafa for his own team’s complete shiteness, and this year it’s another ignorant douche, Gary Megson, expecting Liverpool to do him a favour. Well bollocks to Gary Megson, and bollocks to Bolton. It doesn’t matter what we do, if Bolton want to stay up then they need to concentrate on winning their remaining games. If that isnt enough, they need to look at what they did in their previous 32 games, as that’s the reason they’ll have been relegated. Rafa Benitez’s team selection at Fulham is completely irrelevant, just as it was last season.

Another reason to be pissed off with Megson, is that his comments have allowed that other coackroach, Neil Warnock, to crawl out from his hole to have another moan about Rafa.  “I felt physically sick when I saw the team he’d picked at Fulham.”  He just won’t let it go will he? He claims not have heard of several of the team Rafa picked at Craven Cottage last season. That says more about him than it does us. Sheffield United were relegated because they couldn’t beat Wigan at home on the final day. In other words, it was their own fucking fault.

Just like it will be Bolton’s own fault if they go down. If Rafa fields a weakened side and loses at Fulham, tough shit. Does Megson seriously think we should play Torres and Gerrard at Craven Cottage, just four days before a Champions eague semi final against Chelsea? Seriously, does he? I’d love to know. Especially as this is the man who rested nine of his first team when Bolton went to Lisbon to play a UEFA Cup tie that was in the balance after the first leg. Why did he do that? Because he felt their next game was more important. So who the fuck is he to tell Rafa how to do his job?

Gary Megson was such a shit footballer that he played for Everton, and not at a time when they were any good either. He’s probably even worse as a manager, and Bolton were doomed from the moment they appointed him. It’s almost enough to want us to lose at Fulham, just to see his face. Of course that’s not what I want to happen. Ideally I want to see Rafa rest everybody, but for us to win with a weakened side whilst Bolton lose.

In fact, if I were Rafa I wouldn’t even bother turning up at Fulham. I’d get all the squad for the Chelsea game together, and have them train at Melwood this weekend and I’d send Gary Ablett and his lads up to Craven Cottage. It’d be worth any Premier League fine just to see the look on Megson’s face.

Two wins in eleven league games since the turn of the year. A disappointing return for Liverpool’s U18s side, but anyone who has watched the team recently will know that Liverpool can have no complaints about the results. The performances have been extremely poor.

I see several things as contributing factors to this alarming development. One is that the organisation at the academy seems to still be up in the air. For instance, at Wednesday’s game at Manchester City you had Hughie McAuley on the bench giving instructions while Piet Hamberg and his assistant were in the stands doing the same. And given the fact that they aren’t shouting the same instructions, who are the lads supposed to listen to? Where is the overall game plan? Is it just to work hard and show commitment? I honestly think the players aren’t sure.

Coaching staff at the academy may still have worries about whether or not they are going to be kept on for next season as the Dutchman gets to grip with life at the academy. And undoubtedly this affects training and the general mood around the players. Imagine your boss going round moping or worrying over losing his/her job. You’d pick up on it in no time and it has an immediate effect on the learning environment. Read the rest of this entry »

Anyone who has watched the reserves regularly this season will know what a good player Damian Plessis is, but being able to reproduce that kind of form in the first team is what seperates so many promising players from those who actually make it. Until they get the chance you never know if they can adapt, but after that performance today we know now that Plessis is definitely the real deal and he’s a player we should have no qualms about throwing in at the deep end again. Under the circumstances I thought that was a remarkable performance from the boy.

Down the years we’ve seen some excellent debuts from youngsters. Michael Owen took no time at all to make his mark at senior level, and who can forget Fowler’s impressive debut at Craven Cottage. The difference is though, Owen and Fowler were child prodigies who we all knew about. They were destined to be superstars, so their impressive debuts were hardly a surprise. Read the rest of this entry »

The suspension to Tommy Mascherano this weekend presents Rafa Benitez with something to think about. Aside from the debacle at Old Trafford last weekend, the formation we’ve employed recently has worked pretty well, and has produced plenty of goals. So does Rafa bring in Lucas Leiva and stick with the formula that helped us to seven straight wins? Or does he opt to bring in another forward and drop Steven Gerrard back into midfield in a 4-4-2?

I’d imagine most people would say stick with the formation we’ve been using, but I’ll buck that trend and say if it were up to me I’d introduce Crouch to the side and play 4-4-2. Why? Well there’s a few reasons. The first is the element of surprise. Read the rest of this entry »

“Ah for fucks sake, he’d be the last person I’d put in charge. He’s an absolute fucking cock, I hate him, the arrogant fuck. No doubt Fergie approved that one.” My reaction on Saturday night when I heard Steve Bennett was going to be in charge of the game at Old Trafford. It was pointed out to me straight away that Ferguson can’t stand Bennett and that he’s sent Ronaldo off twice, but I didn’t feel any happier about it. In fact, that just made me worry even more. After witnessing what the twat did to us yesterday I’d say those fears were pretty justified. Read the rest of this entry »

He might not have been everyone’s cup of tea, and he probably wasn’t good enough for us if we were to progress into a team that could challenge for the title, but nevertheless, I really miss Milan Baros. So he had a tendency of playing with his head down a bit, and his finishing was a bit erratic to say the least. I don’t care, I still miss the excitement and anticipation I felt when he picked the ball up and ran at the opposition.

He’s better than any of the forwards signed since he left with the obvious exception of Torres, and he’s better than all of those who remained at the club when he was sold. Would he have been a good choice to partner Torres? Probably not, and I’m not saying we should re-sign him by any means. I’m just saying I miss him.

For me, the Milan Baros from the first half of the 2004/05 season was as good as any striker in the country (Henry apart), and even though his form in the second half of the season (after returning from injury) wasn’t as explosive, he played his part in number five and made his mark on the history of the club.

I look at the strikers at the club now, in particular Kuyt and Voronin, and I can’t help wishing we still had Milan to call upon. Then again, looking at Dirk and Voro also makes me wish we still had Bellamy and Cisse to call on!